let’s talk about reward charts.

There’s certain times that feel very “I have arrived” as a mother or home owner. When I asked for a Dutch oven for Christmas and was thrilled when I got one. When I want to post about a robe and slippers because they’re my favorite things ever. And now posting about a rewards chart for my six-year old. I am a Mom, I have been for years now, so why do posts like this surprise me?! We were experiencing some sass from Parker over the last couple months, him and Anders getting at each other too much, and getting out of the house in the mornings for school was basically me, a broken record, every morning: “Shoes on, please. Shoes on! SHOES ON NOWWWW!!!!!!” He’s the most major rule-follower outside this house. His teachers have nary a complaint about him ever. That’s probably why he lets his naughty flag fly when he’s home. I get it. Anyway, I was driving myself crazy raising my voice, counting to five (what actually happens when I get to five?), threatening time outs. It was a drag. No doubt he was sick of it too.Enter this rewards chart that I saw Abbey post about on her stories. I immediately wrote her and asked what she thought of it. One desperate mother to the next. She heard my cries and said indeed! she liked it! We needed some outside encouragement, something a little more tangible, and I hoped this would be the ticket. I’d say overall I’m not a “charts” Mom. I really would’ve preferred to just verbalize the behavior I expected (dream on–for now!), talk to him about what was making it difficult for him to be kinder to Anders, figure out ways to help him, etc. I don’t love having some sort of reward for what is expected behavior. However, he’s six, and perhaps his mother’s pipe-dream is a bit out of the question for now. The chart comes with all sorts of already-filled behavior goals. “Take care of pets.” “Brush teeth.” “Set the table.” Basically whatever is your child’s Achilles’ heel, you can probably find a magnet for it or fill in one of the many blank ones (which is mainly what I’ve done) provided. We have a Parker section at the top, and Anders, never wanting to be left out, has a small section at the bottom with different colored stars (I believe it actually has helped him try some vegetables that he otherwise would have refused). He’s earned himself blue play-dough already 🙂 Parker is pretty into it. We’ve brainstormed things that he’d like to earn–first it was this die-cast car he saw at CVS when we went to pick up a prescription one day. His memory is incredible, and he’d continued talking about this car for the next month and a half. Perfect! We wrote down CVS car and then the day he earned his stars, we went to CVS. Now he’s itching for something at Target–football gloves, I think? I’d love to have him set his sights on experiences over things, but he’s not there yet. I guess toys are his currency right now. I can’t blame him!We’re about a month in, and I’d say we’re less focused on it now. I will mention getting a star a few times a week, but it feels like the behavior has already improved as a matter of habit. It’s altogether possible that a return to expected behavior is because he was going through some sort of growth spurt that’s over now, a frustration at school that’s since resolved itself, more time outside, more sleep, etc. etc. We’ll never know. But nevertheless, right now it doesn’t feel like I’m needing to utilize it as much, though it’s there for the next time that I do. It feels good to tell him that I’m really proud of him and that I’ve noticed he’s been kinder to Anders, or how grateful I am that he helped clean up without being asked. All in all, I am giving the rewards chart an A+. So, from one mom to another, check it out if you’re feeling desperate too! (And, pretty sure that the return of warm weather will solve 99% of our behavior woes. Come on, spring!!!)