The other day Steve and I, along with the two little ones, were driving to Costco. Black Eyed Peas “I Got a Feeling” came on and Steve said, “What ever happened to this song?!” It had been ages since we’d last listened to it. I was reminded of the giant flashmob that surprised Oprah during her final season to that song. What did she call it? Joy rising? It gave me chills just remembering it. We turned the song up as loud as we could and car-danced all the way there.
I’ve been thinking about joy recently, and happiness too, and what the difference is between the two. And then when we’re not necessarily experiencing either of those or sadness, which is much of our life, what are we? What is neutral? Is it simply contentedness? 
I’m still getting on the podcast train. Yes, it takes me awhile to fully immerse myself into something, doesn’t it? But one I have been pretty routinely listening to and being completely inspired by is Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday (it always comes back to Oprah. All roads lead to Oprah!). I almost never have time to listen to them unless I’m in the car, so last weekend it was her talk with Sheryl Sandberg as I drove through Andover on my way to a photography shoot.
The podcast moved me to tears but also inspired me. Sheryl describes something she started doing after her husband Dave passed away. She started a joy journal. Three things, five things, whatever, every single day that bring you joy. They don’t have to be monumental things. Like for me? Anders had been napping on the couch, just covered himself with pillows and fell asleep. I was working out, and came home from class to this scene with Steve describing to me how it happened. What a sweet thought. I’m tired, so I’m going to lay here and cover myself with pillows and close my eyes and just like that he was in dreamland. When he woke, his hair was sweaty, stuck to his head, and he saw me, and immediately ran for me. He doesn’t slow down much anymore, but he lifted my sweatshirt and laid his head down on my stomach for 5 minutes after that. Precious boy. 
Fall has arrived finally where we live. It’s past prime up north but it is prime here now. I drive through town and marvel at the colors. This is how I know I’m a grown up. Changing colors, snow on trees, a haunting misty morning, it’s these things and more that give me pause in ways they never did when I was a kid.
I picked Parker up from school and, after a quick trip to the post office, and a stop for a quesadilla for them, we went to find ourselves some fall color in our own town. Helping them make memories is one of my favorite parts of being a Mom. Who knows what they will remember after I’m gone. Will they think about the time when we were underneath a golden tree in October and throwing leaves around or will it be the way I sometimes pulled hot laundry out of the dryer and yelled to them to come get on the bed so I could throw it on them? Will it be something entirely different? I hope they have many and I hope those memories forever bring them immense joy. It’s really easy, too easy, to be burdened these days with sadness. There are so many things to feel sad about. I’m going to attempt to note the things that bring me joy each and every day. I’m going to attempt to remain in the present moment. I’m going to attempt to let that joy fill me up and not pass me by. I’m going to seek joy everywhere I can. Let’s do it together.
Oh my God, Black Eyed Peas. I’ve forgotten all about them, major nostalgia right now!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
I love this post so much!
Love love loved this post and this “This is how I know I’m a grown up. Changing colors, snow on trees, a haunting misty morning, it’s these things and more that give me pause in ways they never did when I was a kid.” Yesssssss I am so living this now and truly enjoying it. I do feel part of this is seeing things through your children’s eyes, in a way for the first time, but I am so grateful for this stage in my life where I can pause and appreciate my kids playing in the backyard at golden hour, or the excitement of spotting a horse in a field on the way to school. These are the days! If we only pay attention close enough to see em 😉
I love this. I often think about what type of memories my daughter will hold dear in her heart as she grows older as well. I am totally going to start the warm laundry tradition!
P.S. Love your blog
I love that you throw the fresh, warm laundry on your kids. That sounds utterly delightful. And joy rising. Made me smile <3
gosh this is so so so along the lines of my thoughts these days, and i’m really glad you shared!!! happiness and joy… that is a big one. we’re always seeking happiness in our society, yes?! but it’s so much more superficial than joy. joy comes from within! and after listening to a podcast interview with a friend of ours’ brother, who is a pastor, i started regularly journaling 5-10 things a day that i’m thankful for. so a joy journal, of sorts!! i mean, i really like the name “joy journal!” so yes. there’s so much that can darken your soul if you let it!! but life is too short not to savor. so i’m with you – seeking joy daily!!
Long-time reader (and rare commenter) here. This post is so lovely and introspective and inspiring. A joy list. Yes. What a perfect practice to begin as the holiday season dawns. Really love your voice and this sweet corner of the world you’ve created, Bridget.
I’m pretty sure you and I are leading parallel lives. These thoughts – about joy versus happiness, what will my children remember, along with countless other weighty, existential thoughts have been at the forefront of my mind for many months. Maybe it’s an age thing? A being-done-having-babies-oh-my-gosh-I’m-one-step-closer-to-death thing? In any case, deliberation and determined mindfulness has been something I’ve also been striving toward. It’s nice to know that others grapple with these thoughts and take measures to assuage the tension. Joy is such a worthwhile pursuit.
On a *slightly* unrelated tangent, there are two podcasts I listen to the most – TEDRadio Hour and Hidden Brain. Two of their recent episodes were just fantastic, and I thought you would also appreciate/enjoy listening to them: Manipulation on TEDRadio Hour and The Good Old Days on Hidden Brain. Just wanted to mention them in case you were interested 🙂 P.S. I also don’t often have time to listen to podcasts, but getting an in-shower bluetooth speaker has helped! Now I can slowly work my way through podcasts while showering AND on those rare solo-drives.
Your post brought tears to my eyes. You are such an incredible mom. Wife. Friend. On top of everything else that you are! I’m currently reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown because I find myself grappling with the same issues- how to be more present, embracing joy. It’s always a work in progress but I will do it with you!! Xoxo
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene is an awesome book–I loved it!
lovely
I will have to check out Super Soul Sunday.
One clip I watch repeatedly to give me courage is this interview with Oprah and Brene Brown:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4u4J58YUB1Q
Another that we watch and refer to at work is: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fLqzYDZAqCI.
I try to teach my boys that we all have a choice and I want us to choose to be happy…always. There’s always a different perspective, you can always look at situations from a positive lens – it’s all up to you.
I hope you and your readers enjoy these as much as I do.
Jenna
OOO
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene is an awesome book–I loved it! Thank you for sharing these clips; I had not seen this Oprah/Brene clip. I also liked the above or below the line piece; it is sort of how I think of glass half full or half empty.
Beautiful post, Bridget!
I love this post. Right now I’m doing a study on pastoral counselling, and was looking for relaxation ideas and immediately came to your blog. You are amazing. I love that journalling idea and also the way you find joy in motherhood. Precious.
Wow !! what a beautiful post! By far one of my faves thus far, so sweet so precious! You are a very inspiring mama!