I feel as though there’s nothing new I can add to the sometimes-melodious-oftentimes-cacophonous commentary on child-disciplining, child-loving, child-everything. I find myself both in utter bliss and utter disgust simultaneously all day long. Like the tick tock from one of those piano metronomes, I’m at one end, and then the other, and then the other, and then the other. Watching from the kitchen where I’m forming meatballs in total ecstasy because I watched Parker assist Anders sweetly onto a little bike–tick— and then witnessing that same angel-boy steal the dump truck right out from under the unassuming toddler–tock.
And then there are the teen years. Which feel more, these days, like tock, tock, tock, tock, tock.
Parenting is really hard. It’s one of the most important jobs in the world and we’re all bumping into the walls like moles, trying really hard to read the manuals with very little light. Never mind that the manuals all give you different directions. You’ve got the heavy-on-the-discipline in one corner yelling “time outs are good! Dole them out a-plenty!” and the validate-above-all-else in the other screeching back, “time outs are evil! They will kill your child’s spirit!” Where’s the one that says, “Put YOURSELF in time out RIGHT NOW (but pour yourself a glass of wine first)?” That’s the one I want.
Why am I saying any of this? Well, it’s just kicking my ass right now. Is it kicking yours too? Solidarity, my friend. And cheers! (Because, if you got anything out of this, it should be pour yourself that glass of wine right now.)
I’m right there with you. My 4 year old is a good boy, very loving and sweet, but when bedtime comes, the gloves are off. He runs laps around the house, won’t do what we say, all with a devilish smile. We started a sticker chart 3 weeks ago for bedtime, and it’s helping a bit for sure but still when 8:00 rolls around, I just want to run away! I read so many things of what to do and how to do it but in the moment, it’s just hard. Hang in there, this too shall pass right?!
Amen, sister. My little Eli is 18 days old today and his 2.5 year old sister is giving us a run for our money. I’ve cried as much as she has this week. It’s so hard. I have no idea how to get this right most of the time. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in this adventure.
oh man, mama. 18 days old?! the blanket of hormones is ever-present too! (It feels like I STILL have it and he’s almost 2…) Good luck to you, and be kind to yourself!
i love your openness on this, because i sooo have a hard time finding the words for it, myself!!! but it’s amazing to me that even though i can have days and days on end where i’m nothing but overjoyed to be with my children, it’s still just SO consuming. which means the down days can reeeally getcha!! ha. anyway, solidarity, all the way! mom life is good and hard and huge and misunderstood and fulfilling and crazy and wonderful, yes? xoxo
sharing this on fb now cause AMEN SISTER.
Cheers ????
That was supposed to be a wine glass emoji, yike… feel free to delete.
This post couldn’t have come on a more perfect day. I have a 12 year step son, and an almost one year old daughter. I literally feel like I’m drowning and failing at parenting in every way possible. Sometimes it’s just really great to know we’re not alone in these feelings.
So not alone. Thank goodness for a fresh start every morning.
Bridget you have it harder than most b/c you are dealing with teens and toddlers. Most of us just had to deal with one stage at a time. Good luck and definitely pour yourself a nightly glass of wine. You deserve it.
I don’t like to throw myself a pity party, but it sure does feel so hard with those two stages combined at times. Thanks for the comment, Cynthia. Wine it is!
Yes to this! Wonderful, honest post. Parenting is HARD. Even the good stuff I question all the time – am I spoiling them? Am I making them do enough chores? Are they involved in enough? Too much? Are they challenged? etc etc etc. It’s enough to make my brain hurt. Anyway – solidarity! Enjoy that wine.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes! but I am supposed to pick my boys up at the bus from school in 4 minutes! I can’t be that mother, can I? with wine in the travel mug? lol….I’ll save it for after meet the teacher tonight, pretty sure this post will still apply…
I’m finding that parenting my 23 year old is the hardest thing I’ve done so far. He wants advice unless he doesn’t and I should know the difference. I can’t put him in time out or in his room — he roams the earth during the night! and makes decisions that have consequences I cannot help with!
oh we understand. WE UNDERSTAND!
I could use a good glass of wine right now. Unfortunately its way too early in the day in Switzerland to start drinking…I have five kids, the youngest is 16 month old and the oldest is 11 years old and I am feeling the same! Thank you for sharing! Love your blog!
i’m a longish-time reader (and also a bridget!) and a first-time commenter.. this post resonates SO HARD with me. thank you! my husband and i have a 3-year-old and a 3-month-old, and i feel all day, every day, like i’m not qualified for this job of motherhood. my parenting style can best be described as “fumbling through toddler tantrum madness.”
solidarity, 100%. none of us are alone, though it certainly feels that way sometimes!
I missed this! So good, I love this voice. Solidarity.