date night and putting your husband first.

steve and i get so little alone time, even at home. with kids of all ages and two who stay up as late as we do (and, often later), it’s scarce. add to that, i am, self-admittedly, not the best at being a mother of young children (particularly the still-nursing variety) and being a wife. i sort of pour myself into babies, and there’s not that much left of me to be a wife. i’m ever aware that the precious baby-stage is all too fleeting and that’s part of my justifying it, i think. and, when i’m a not-so-attentive wife the guilt isn’t nearly as thick as when i’m a not-so-attentive mother. i suffer from mom-guilt of the worst kind! but it’s not either or! it’s not this or that! i think there are ways of being good at both. (will i ever find the happy balance, though?!)  i do find that around their first birthday i come out of the hormonal want-to-be-attached-to-my-baby-all-hours-of-the-day fog and think, “oh! that sweet husband of mine! there he is!” bless him, steve is so patient. he remembers it similarly with shannon too, so this is his sixth time around. and even so, he’s still there, hanging out, waiting until a date night is thrown his way with the promise of more and of having a wife again. it sounds a little sad, doesn’t it? so, we’ve been going out more lately. even short dates, sometimes, after the kids are in bed and that last only an hour where we get a fancy drink and an appetizer before heading home. either way, it’s really nice. we just went out on friday night, and got to have cocktails and the most delicious dinner (see that fried chicken? it was unreal and i’m still thinking about it.) and walk along the water at sunset, a time when i’m almost always at home or in my backyard without a good view. it was beautiful. sitting across from steve and steve alone and talking about plans, memories, the kids (of course), what-would-you-do-with-a-million-dollars (no? only us?). raising children sort of trumps everything, doesn’t it? it’ll take everything you’ve got if you let it. but when i make us a priority, i’m always so happy be reminded of how much i like that husband of mine. i also like being reminded that we’re not just coparents, roommates, ships passing in the night, but that we actually picked each other almost ten years ago. and hey, i’d pick him again.