I poked into his room after putting Anders down, and found him asleep, or so I thought. I whispered in his ear, “I love you.” He stirred just enough to say it back to me and I was so happy to find him still awake enough to cuddle and to know I was there while he fell asleep. Often, I miss that opportunity, taking too long to get Anders to sleep. I climbed into the top bunk where he draped his leg over my waist, and his arm around my neck as he fell asleep. The weight of his leg on me made me wonder, “When did there become so much of him?” It’s easy to see Anders progress, milestones practically screaming at you–crawling to walking, no words to speaking. It becomes more subtle at four-almost-five but he is a kid. No baby, no toddler, all kid. I began to run my hands through his hair. It stayed the way I ran my hands through it, stiff with the day’s sweat. With his hair like that, I could see a 15-year old Parker if I tried. He’s already begun a summer tan, the apples of his cheeks browning, remaining that way even after a damp washcloth is dragged across his face before bed. “Your hands are filthy!” I told him. He washed those too.
When my arm got too tired to hold up, I moved to his arm, scratching it just the way I love to have mine scratched. More of a tickle, really, I’ve always liked it really light. “That feels so good. Will you do that for an hour?” I said okay and continued. Then I moved to his leg where he said, “That feels even better.” He continued saying that, every time I moved to a new appendage. I smiled. “Will you do that for two hours?” He didn’t open his eyes as he talked, practically slurring as the thickness of sleep started to take him.
{picture from earlier on this hot day; eating strawberries, stems still on, in the backyard by the kiddie pool with his friends and brother while the Moms sipped beers and ate hummus and carrots and talked about life}
I know you co-slept with both boys, right? How on earth did you managed to get them sleeping alone? My daughter is 18mo and we have become accidental co-sleepers. She still wakes up at least once a night and we all get more sleep if I just put her in bed with my husband and I. However, I do not want to be co-sleeping till she's 7 years old! How did you make the transition with the boys?
I did – still am with Anders actually. I should write a post about your question because I get it all the time!! On the list. Thanks 🙂
I second the above comment!
I look at my 6 year old boy and wonder when he grew up too. I guess I can say that about my 13 year old daughter and 11 year old and 9 year old sons. Why do they have to grow up??
This is beautiful writing. The slurring and the thickness of sleep and the last few sentences of the first paragraph.
thank you so much!
I love this! Such a sweet moment!
oh gosh, these little moments are the hugest! and i love that you recorded this little bit. i have had a few of the same moments recently, snuggling up to my almost 4 year old. there is so much of her now, emotionally and physically. sometimes i feel like i spend so much time keeping up with the baby that i miss her tiny details as they mature! i don't want to miss anything.