Tales of Me and the Husband

Parker, four years old.

Parker was kicking about the first floor on Sunday talking about needing a shield. 
I gave him a pan lid and he was pretty content with it, but then Dad stopped working and 
brought out the big guns: cardboard, scissors, paint, and Google Image. 
Captain America shield was born.

I’ve been so delighted to be reminded lately that four year olds are awesome. There’ve been moments, too many of them, when I’ve thought babies are the the uppermost pinnacle and how could any age top a baby. And while, for me babies are a most precious part of the parenting process, they are but a fleeting blip on the radar that is the journey of parenting. Yes, it is painful, and yes I am in the process, always, of coming to terms with this cruel truth. Could I surround myself with a million babies simply to experience, over and over again, that transcendental newness of life and love placed on my chest after hours of the hard work of labor? Yes. But where would that leave me? Very dirty and in a mess of baby diapers, laundry, chaos, and tears, both mine and theirs. 

Ah, well. Let’s keep going.
Four. Four is so much fun. Parker routinely makes my heart grow ten sizes. The other night at bedtime when I told him–and yes, I am a very sappy mother–my heart is so happy when it’s near yours, he responded, my heart is soooo red because it loves you so much! They can’t articulate the love and then they can, and oh my word is it wonderful.  
He’s been going off to school a few mornings a week these days. I watch him in the rear view mirror, chatting with him as we drive along. His face often goes from blankly looking out the window to concern as we near the school. “I’m happy when I’m at school but I miss you when I’m there too.”  I drop him off, and watch as he moves about making himself comfortable with an activity before the  day begins. He’s so big and so small and I’m regularly in disbelief at the length of his legs, his bony shoulder blades, the disappearance of his once rubber band wrists. 
He’s earnest these days with his Nerf guns, his army dress up. You want so badly to smile at him, scoop him up and kiss his face all over because it’s very cute, but you don’t because he’s taking it seriously and so you do too. 
Parker hums now. He’s always humming, in fact. A lot of Christmas songs lately. A few days of Frosty the Snowman, Jingle Bells, Daniel Tiger’s “Rest is Best,” Maroon 5’s “Sugar.” Any song he’s heard lately, it runs through his head and while he arranges cars, jumps on furniture, he’s humming or mumbling through indiscernible words to a definite tune (pretty on pitch, his Dad would add here).
He’s so endearing. I love my four year old.

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Comments

  1. I started following your blog when you had just became pregnant with Parker! As every mom say's I cant believe how fast it's gone because it's true a blip in time. My son is half way through Kindergarten and my heart is already breaking in the fact that he will be gone 5 days a week next year! Neither of us are ready for this…Im trying to stay in the moment and enjoy the days that we still have together, it's hard letting go but a joy to see them find their way at the same time…

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  2. Happy Happy Birthday to sweet Parker! He looks WAY to grown up in that first picture! He sounds sweet as can be! Crazy that I remember when you had him and look at him now, a big 4 year old!

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  3. I feel like we think very similar things about motherhood, and that we both have four-year-old boys right now? Well, not to sound creepy, but I think if we lived closer than oh about six thousand miles apart, I think we'd be great friends. And so would our little guys! 😉

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  4. Oh wow, I can so relate Bridget, my little man Reece is 4 also and man I am emotional all the time watching him grow and learn, it is just the best, Reece attends a little creche now from 9 to 12.30 daily and each night before bed he asks me will you be there when i wake up tomorrow mum ( i work full time) oh my heart melts… they are the cutestxxxxxxx

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  5. You articulate things so well! I love how you captured the moment of time that we have as parents with our babies…so special and yes, so fleeting. Love your words.

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