I have a cold. I was certain it was allergies at first. “My pillow?! Is it down? Is it dust?” Now I’m pretty sure it’s… just a cold. Anders woke up sometime in the 4 o’clock am hour almost every day since we’ve been home but now we are inching closer to 7 and I’m so delighted. Do you know how long the darkness still has to go when you’re waking up at 4:30 am in mid-November? I don’t either, but it’s awhile.
I almost ate an apple in the shower this morning (multitasking at its finest), but then Anders woke from a 20-minute nap–which was just long enough for me to fold one basket of laundry, refill my coffee cup, and feel anxious about the things on my to-do list–so the apple was replaced with a 20-lb. bouncing baby boy. I remember Parker in this stage. The naps were totally wonky, he was totally underfoot and/or on a death mission at all times, and the cuteness factor was maxed out. That last part is crucial.
Steve and I are always moving right now. I said to him this morning, “Think we were actually less busy when we were abroad?” What is that? Why do we do this to ourselves? What am I even busy with? I’ll tell you what: laundry, dinner planning, dinner cooking, blog stuff, email, permission slips, cleaning, tending to children, grocery shopping, making a case for the importance of going potty before bed, figuring out whether I’m sufficiently clean and if not finding a proper hat to hide the mess, messying the kitchen, cleaning the kitchen (times eight times per day)…
Important unimportant work.
I recently read on Instagram someone say that she delights in her sink full of dishes at the end of the day because it means she was busy with her children all day long and while I completely loved that sentiment I also thought, “That kitchen’s gonna need to be faced at some point.” Messes nag at me. I can’t be fully present with a messy kitchen. And kitchen messes? They’re one of those messes that grows.
Little things are making a difference. Meal planning. I started doing it shortly before we left and picked it up again this week. It helps me make a grocery list (and then Steve does most of the grocery shopping), reminds me to take chicken out the morning of so it thaws, means less food is wasted, so on and so forth. Everyone, myself included, is happier when there is a solid meal at a reasonable hour for dinner. Last week’s favorite was steak, mashed sweet potatoes, and green beans.
I’m still figuring out what my “planner” will be. As much as keeping it all on a phone is nice, I love PAPER. I need to feel that list in my hands and physically cross things off of it. One of you suggested the Get to Work Book and, while I love it, I have to wait until 2016 to get it. So, I guess the rest of November and into December I’m going to continue my messy, rambling ways and then come January unleash the new and improved organized Bridget. That’s what that means, right? RIGHT.
Important unimportant work, for sure. The most important, I know, is right in front of me with limbs and voices asking me to sign a slip, to write a check, where are the stamps, what’s for dinner, can we go outside and play.
But, I also know that I enjoy my time with them more when the rest of my life is more under control. So, let’s get there. You and me both.
And this is a P.S. meant for Steve: thanks for being in this with me. We’re a team, and I really like being on your team.
I'm not as good of a mom when the sink is full of dishes. It stresses me out! I play much better when I take ten minutes to tidy it all up!
That PS is the best part of this whole post.
I know! You guys are the sweetest. I love that Steve does the grocery shopping. Since I've been in grad school full time my husband has done a lot of the grocery buying. He doesn't always get the right thing (even when I tell him 3-4 times!) but he does a great job and it's way faster than me doing it! He's sweet to do it because it means he gets to spend more time with me 🙂 Love that!
I am a (hopefully hot) mess when it comes to meal planning and grocery shopping. I don't like cooking. I don't like grocery stores. I've resorted to having my groceries delivered…I blame it on my infant twins, but really, I just don't like it. BUT. I love the All Out Of pad by Knock Knock. It does make the knowing-what-to-buy aspect of grocery shopping SO much easier!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1601061935?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00
Kitchen messes are the ones that always grow! But you and your husband make a great team, and I know that you can handle anything!
This is one of my favorite posts, ever. I'm a stay-at-home wife, and often feel guilty when people ask, "what do I do all day?". But you said it perfectly, I take care of all of the important unimportant things that most have to do after work or on the weekends. And while I know life will not always be this leisurely, I'm forever grateful that our current arrangement allows me to stay at home and take care of all of the important unimportant things.
amen! (i'm grateful too. nowhere i'd rather be!)
Hope you're well again soon!
With every new calender I hope for a new organized Licia, maybe 2016 will do the charm. But I agree with you, I enjoy time with my family way more, when my mind doesn't scream "you won't have a clean mug for coffee tomorrow, no clean clothes, no covers and you'll probably turn grey just because of all the dust around you"
exactly! i'm a better me in every way when i'm in a clean home!
I need to start meal planning.. I hate getting to mid-afternoon and not knowing what I'm going to cook!
i HATED that too. it SERIOUSLY helps. i write them all on our chalkboard wall on sunday night–it's huge. kids just look up and see what it is and i think they like that too.
I just use a doc I made in Word–super cheap and not at all fancy but I like it because if I change my mind, I can start over and I don't have to tear out a page in the book. I like to hang mine up in the kitchen so when the kids say "what's for dinner" every. single. night I can point them in that direction and make them read it. Double Win!
MEAL PLANNER
Week of _______________________
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Emotional labor! Not unimportant at all. I've been reading lots of good articles about this topic lately. basically, all of the important unimportant stuff as you say, is all emotional labor that (usually) women take on and it is exhausting! All of the meal-planning, cleaning, keeping track of what you're running out of, knowing when you need to change the sheets, sending birthday cards, returning phone calls, keeping track of appointments, etc etc etc infinity! It all adds up and it is crucial to the social well-being of the entire family/society. But it's often not acknowledged as "work" because, well, we're women and we're "supposed" to do all those things. Really interesting to think about!
yes, yes! emotional labor! that's exactly what it is!!! and the list is HUGE.
PS. I really like the Kate Spade planners. They're a) adorable, b) super useful (month and daily calendars), and c) small enough for me to tote around with me everywhere. And they're July-following December, so you can snag it now! https://www.katespade.com/products/2016-17-month-medium-agenda–black-stripe/153151.html?cgid=ks-home-desk-and-stationery&dwvar_153151_color=001&utm_campaign=Pinterest%20Buy%20Button&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Pinterest&utm_content=pinterest-buy-button-0f79f31c9-de67-477d-882a-abff321d7689#start=5&cgid=ks-home-desk-and-stationery
PS. I really like the Kate Spade planners. They're a) adorable, b) super useful (month and daily calendars), and c) small enough for me to tote around with me everywhere. And they're July-following December, so you can snag it now! https://www.katespade.com/products/2016-17-month-medium-agenda–black-stripe/153151.html?cgid=ks-home-desk-and-stationery&dwvar_153151_color=001&utm_campaign=Pinterest%20Buy%20Button&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Pinterest&utm_content=pinterest-buy-button-0f79f31c9-de67-477d-882a-abff321d7689#start=5&cgid=ks-home-desk-and-stationery
I seriously laughed out loud at this comment "I recently read on Instagram someone say that she delights in her sink full of dishes at the end of the day because it means she was busy with her children all day long and while I completely loved that sentiment I also thought, "That kitchen's gonna need to be faced at some point."
I'm the same way in the fact that in the back of my mind I know at some point I need to get in their and clean the kitchen, I am thankful for my dish washer! I also meal plan and something about putting it down on paper, especially if its a cute planner brings more joy to the whole process 🙂
I always thought these were fun planners!
http://www.erincondren.com/life-planner
Glad your back and had a great time abroad! Now what's for dinner? 😉
I use my phone calendar for everything, but I want to go back to paper! I've been dreaming about an Erin Condren planner, but now you have me researching more options.
That Get To Work book looks like what I need. I was just looking at some planners for 2016 at Target.
I have been using the UnCalendar for a good 3 years now, and I love it! You can start it whenever, and it's great for not just a calendar, but also lists, goals, etc.! It's not the most visually appealing, but it, BY FAR, has been the best planner I've ever used. http://www.uncalendar.com/index.jsp
Plume paper designs…Perfect planner and you can add extras…Perfect size to and reasonable price compared to others
Totally with you on this one! I cannot stand a messy kitchen and I do that thing where i go to play with kids right after breakfast/cooking and not clean it, I feel even worse coming back to it later. So now, I think my kids will wait 15 minutes for me to clean the kitchen to I can breathe a sigh of relief and play with them. Thanks for sharing because this SATHM stuff just gets to me sometimes, Thank God they invented bloggin
Anna // Happy Medley
Hey! As for meal planning, my sister and I made something like this for my mom http://www.thinkingcloset.com/2012/11/20/the-menu-planner-to-rule-them-all/
And it was a big hit! She's very organized and was always complaining about not having any idea for meals for the next week (we plan meals for the whole week on Saturday mornings and only go grocery shopping once a week, except for small things like bread or veggies sometimes).
You might make your kids do it, it's quite easy and they could decorate it as well, and once you have written down all the meals that cross your mind on the little cards you will almost always have an idea for next week's menu 🙂 And of course the color-coding is nice to make sure you have a diverse diet (sometimes we used to plan pasta five times a week without even noticing – not anymore!)
Have a nice week!
'Important unimportant work' is the best phrase ever! Really hits the nail on the head for the parent who stays at home. I was a Sociology major and we discussed 'emotional labor' in our Family class all the time. Such an interesting topic. Thanks for the great post!
We have this notepad and it really helps keep us on track with meal planning
http://knockknockstuff.com/product/what-to-eat-pad/
Have you seen Mi Goals planners? I'm a handwritten-on-paper kind of organizer (iPhone calendar=Oh crap! Kiddo's orthodontist appointment is TODAY?! upon receiving my 1 hour reminder), and this little book has served me well. It's part planner part goal-maker and I love it. My aspirations for the year actually get filled in and are therefore not forgotten/abandoned by February. I just ordered my 2016 version…it's the first time I've ordered the same planner 2 years in a row. Also, everything else you said…Yes. Yes to all of it. Short days, the grind, the dishes, the teamwork. Yes.
http://migoals.com/collections/2015-range
I have heard great things about this plannerhttp://intheleafytreetops.com/2016-mom-on-the-go-planner/
I highly recommend inkwell press for their planners!
See alexikonn.com productivity planner. Also on Youtube. This is just a guy I watch, and have no reason to plug.