I opened myself up to questions about the trip on Facebook the other day and one of them was, as the title suggests, “Are you homesick?” Now this answer could change a bit based on the day I’m being asked but having been here since July 30, I think I have enough perspective to answer thoughtfully.
In short: yes.
This trip, while totally romantic and dreamy (especially when viewed through the lens of Instagram), is also seriously not romantic and dreamy. We are traveling in a foreign country! With four kids! And without overnight Amazon shipping options! I’m kidding about that last one! But sort of not? (Hangs head in shame.)
Steve and I were alone recently — us alone? Rarer than a unicorn sighting. We don’t really even know how to have adult conversations anymore. We were finally alone and we simply stared at one another blinking like… what now? — and we asked each other the typical questions: what do you miss about home, are you happy you did this, what would you do differently.
We miss certain foods (Mexican! Giant salads and burgers!), the comforts of our own home (a cushy rug for Anders to crawl around on! my dryer! my own kitchen and supplies!), my cleaning supplies (I like my crunchy cleaning supplies, okay!?!), our friends (since we don’t speak Italian fluently we mostly talk to each other. We love each other but sometimes we’re also sick of each other?). We are totally happy we did this and are pretty certain we’ll look back like, “Did that really happen? Was it all a dream?” Even if, at times when in it, we’re like “EFF THIS,” we are still aware that it’s really cool, we have learned so much, we have grown in all sorts of ways, we have seen some incredible places, we have had some once-in-a-lifetime moments. And to do things differently? Maybe a little more time here, a little less time there, a different Airbnb (bigger, smaller, better kitchen, better location, etc.). For instance this current Airbnb, which also is our longest rental, doesn’t really have a kitchen. I knew from the listing that it was basic but didn’t really realize just how basic. It’s more of a glorified table really. A sink, two induction plates, and a tiny fridge (you know, like the kind you had under your bed in college). I told Steve this morning I have about one cubic foot of kitchen “workspace.” It turns out eating out does get old! (And expensive.)
Rome is really freaking cool in a lot of ways. I’m currently in a strange love-hate with it. You can’t spit without having it land on something really, really old. To clarify, I don’t make a habit of spitting, here or at home. Steve’s sort of in his element here–Nero burned all of this down! Augustus Caesar probably walked right here, leaving the theatre, to return home right there! It’s fun to watch. He loves history and Rome is jam packed full of it. We can see ruins from our Airbnb! The Forum is literally around the corner! The alleys, the cafes, the piazzas. They’re amazing. I love walking down an alley, not certain of exactly where it will lead, and then you look up and there’s the Pantheon. Or coming upon the prettiest cafe with a chalkboard menu and deciding that you must try their cappuccino because why not? But Rome isn’t exactly a kid-friendly city (let me differentiate the Italian people from their city, however; they are so kid-friendly.). The only nice green space I’ve seen is in front of the Victor Emmanuel Monument and it’s gated off entirely. There’s really no playgrounds to speak of (I lie, there’s two I’ve seen, but they’re very small, basic ones.), no parks. The Circus Maximus could be amazing! What a vast empty space it is! But it’s in serious disrepair–litter and broken glass everywhere. I realize this is a complicated issue of government and funding in an ancient city but, coming from the Boston area, where you can’t walk more than a mile without passing a park or a playground, I’m missing them badly. My own needs? Rome more than meets them. A quiet corner cafe, a good book, a glass of wine, people-watching for days, a nighttime stroll. But the needs you have when there are children to keep happy are, of course, quite different. Steve and I looked at each other yesterday at a low point in the day–let’s say we’d all reached our limit of together time–and sort of just laughed. “It’s the nature of the beast,” I said. He agreed.
Do I sound whiny? I’ve had moments here where I’ve thought, “XYZ is hard. Should I blog about this? Will it sound like I’m complaining? Will my readers roll their eyes at me?” I might be rolling my eyes at me if I were you too. But it’s honest. I can’t help but give the honest parts too. That’s what this post is. You asked!
I don't think you're whiny – I think you're being honest! Listen, if it was just you & Steve I'm sure the 1 sq ft of kitchen work space would be fine but, the truth of the matter is you have a family of 6 there (all different ages) that you're trying to accommodate in a foreign country & that's not the easiest thing to do. Traveling away from home anywhere with a baby isn't the easiest thing so I can only imagine what it's like in a foreign country. I'm glad y'all are having a great time (for the most part) and are soaking it all in though!
Sharing the honest parts is key! I'm sure it's so helpful to anyone planning any kind of extended vacation with kids to realize that it's not all the beautiful photos are cracked up to be. Real like with kids is real like with kids no matter where you are. I appreciate you answering the question honestly!
Of course, I meant real *life* with kids, not like.
I think any of us who have traveled out of the country realize that it is never just sunshine and rainbows! (Case in point….trying to set up a tent in the middle of nowhere Iceland in 30 mph winds with no backup plan for the night). We all love how you tell the good, bad, and sometimes ugly.
I would love to see a post on how school has (or hasn't) been happening over there! Did you have to fill out paperwork or show curriculum before you left the US? Did you de-enroll the kiddos? What happens when they get back? Just interested!
The school details will be in an upcoming post, I promise!
I want to hear more about this campsite in Iceland story…
Great! I'm excited to read it! Haha, this summer my husband and I went on an 8 day trip camping in Iceland. It was a VERY windy day, getting to be about 7 or 8pm and we found a campsite in the middle of nowhere. We ended up tying the tent to the car door with ropes because it was bending in half, and we put a bunch of huge rocks inside to hold it down. We gave up and just tried to sleep and hope we didn't tumble off into the night!
Here's a silly video we sent our family during the incident. This was actually when it had died down some.
the ones that roll their eyes have probably never traveled internationally with a child, let alone four. fact. So rolllllll on people…Traveling internationally with children is so incredibly exhausting. I didnt realize until i did it…because instagram paints such a different picture. Heck, most blogs paint such a different picture. But now i know they are mostly lying. And not that its bad to lie. Its good to show the highlights…to find the good in tough situations. But then it makes people like me, or you, feel sort of guilty when its your turn and youre like, uhm wait. this is hard. and i sort of just want to go home. i suck. You are doing amazing at embracing the blessing but also acknowledging that hey, this isn't super easy or glamorious with four children in tow.
It's not whining. Life is hard, doesn't matter if you are home or away. My husband and I visited Italy in the spring and it was wonderful but many times during we thought how would our kids make out. It would be fun but challenging. It's great to hear the truth more than just the wonderful parts!! I hope when you are home you can just remember the good times and tuck those other moments back away filed under life!
I suspect we will remember only the good times! Oddly enough, I'm ultra aware of how sad I'll be when the trip is over too! Not ready for us to all go our separate ways–school/work/etc.–when we return.
Rome is really, really, really hard with little kids. That's always my go-to answer when people ask if we miss living there (which we did for a year w 2 little boys.) But there is ah honest-to-goodness American style playground at the base of Castel Sant'angelo if you're willing to hoof it over there. Thank you for the pictures and the beautiful play-by-play, I'm reliving Italy through your eyes while still kissing my clothes dryer. 😉
Traveling in Europe with kids in tow….I totally get this post. It's hard and amazing all at once.
When we were in Rome last year my then three year old said, "Mama, where are all the trees?"
I am loving every second of your trip and reading all about it! We loved the playground at the Villa Borghese Gardens. There are pony rides, a train that takes you all over the park, a little outdoor arcade, and of course, a playground. We took Tuck there almost everyday when we were there but it was also super close to our hotel. The kids museum in Rome is worth a visit IMHO. They also have a space that's soft for Anders.
lots of love to you Hunts!
Villa Borghese was the first place that come to my mind! Actually it was the place where I see italian kids in Rome.
It's good to hear your honest opinions the good and difficult. I didn't even think about not having Amazon…that would be hard for me too!
I always like it when you acknowledge the not so dreamy parts too, the keeping it real without whining is one of many other reasons I like your blog so much. I've experienced the same even in the most beautiful places in the world. I miss a certain smell, a familiar sound, a certain routine (even if the purpose of traveling sometimes is to leave that behind) – and most of the times, my own beddings – it's always nice to know, one isn't alone with that and I feel less "guilty" reading that.
I had the SAME feelings about Rome. We took our toddler here:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villa_Borghese_gardens and here: http://www.turismoroma.it/cosa-fare/parco-savello-o-giardino-degli-aranci?lang=en
Didn't have to worry about cars, vespas, etc
Going there soon!
There is always the good and bad when you travel. I find that i'm more patience when I'm abroad and maybe because I know that it's not forever.
I agree!
We hit our travel wall in Rome too. Just before meeting up with my sister who spent her savings to fly over to meet us I a college break. I still regret the timing, but what can you do? It's hard to be without a true home base for so long. We did our big European tour before kids. I can imagine all that you are talking about now that I have children and I get it. Sensory overload with no real chance to fully decompress. Enjoy what you ca. And don't feel guilty if you can't manage to maximize every minute. It's all part of the journey.
Sensory overload without decompressing, yes! I am one of those people who needs a little quiet time too, and needless to say, there's been none of it since coming here! Ah well. I'd like to say I'm more resilient because of it… or maybe just more crazy?
So glad you're sharing the downsides! Not rolling my eyes at all 🙂
I like hearing the full story and not just the highlights! Thanks for being honest 🙂
I lived in Rome for a few months in college. It's my absolute favorite but the thought of being there with a toddler and baby gives me hives. You are a warrior! Carry on!
Yes to whoever mentioned the Borghese Gardens! Lots of green! Set those kids free in there! It's not far from the Hard Rock which totally helps with the home sickness. My (American) roommates and I def did dinner there towards the end when we needed a taste of home.
Also, over by the Vatican used to be a Mexican restaurant. I don't remember much about it but they had margaritas! Worth the walk over there.
PS. Don't mail your postcards with the regular Roman post office. No guarantees they'll actually mail them every time : / Use the Vatican post office.
Margaritas!! (We return home in a few weeks and to some of the best margaritas in the Boston area so I might hold out until then…)
Thank you for sharing that it's not as perfect as it seems
Happy Medley
This is a great post. As an expat from Boston now living in Europe, this is the kind of stuff no one understands. They have a delusion idea of what it's like to live abroad and explaining is almost impossible. You're getting a small taste of it and it's really good to read the honest truth. It's a wonderful life I wouldn't trade, but a complicated one, to say the least!
I loved this post. thank goodness to hear the real story and not just the Instagram version.
so refreshing.
We have done a few big overseas trips now with our 3 under 5 year olds and I can safely say…we never reminisce about the sobbing argument where I complained that there was no playground within walking distance and no mum friends to drink coffee with… or the sometimes hideous flights… we just remember the sense of adventure. Rose tinted maybe but it means we (and more importantly, the kids?) have been left with the idea that the world is out there and available to us. Glad you are having the real deal travel experience xx
I am so happy you writr down your feelings honestly! Nowdays because if the social media sometimes people can think they are the only one who sometimes has hard times, bad days as everyone posts the best moments of their life! However this is not true especially when you become a parent, hell I live my baby but yes sometimes I just need a break! Thanks for sharing your true feelings it makes your blog more realistic and makes me feel that I am not a misserable mom and everyone has difficulties! Please stay as honest as you are now, I can tell this is one if the main reasons I read all your posts!
You are SO right about all of these things, and I for one am grateful you said them. My husband and I traveled for about 9 months last year (both domestically and internationally), and 4 of those months were a road trip. In a MINI Cooper. If I had a dollar for every time someone called our travel "vacation", I'd have many many dollars, and a corresponding desire to want to hit those people. So not vacation-y! Sure there are some restful, beautiful, amazing moments, but equal if not more overwhelming, hectic and "can I go home now" moments. Life is life no matter where you are — and we don't even have kids! Props to you, Hunts! I can totally relate to feeling whiny, but you're not. You're a realist and you're sharing the less Instagram-my moments which encourage those of us at home doing piles of dishes and sorting through mail 🙂 Know that you're blessed to being doing this and you'll feel blessed to come home.
Take hope that for us, all of our travel left a strong feeling of, "You know… Massachusetts is really just the best ever." Can't put a price tag on contentment.
Breath in and keep enjoying this great experience that one day you'll daydream about having again.
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