“A mother wears the burden silently. Deep within you, always, always, you are fighting back the desire to not let them go.” I resonated so much with this. Do all mothers find it as heartbreaking as I do?
Changing gears. There is probably no meal I’d take over a good burger. Here’s some tips on perfecting yours.
Alice Waters’ ten favorite books.
The Brass girls (Katie and Jay) are so great. I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with them (for work? Can hardly call it that! But you’ll see me over on their site!) twice now and it’s just so much fun. The last time, they put together some video of me–scroll down! (Anders makes a cameo too.). Thanks ladies!
The green ones! Ooh, or these, which are so pretty (I’ve been eyeing Soludos for awhile, any owners? Like them?).
These 12 lighting DIYs are so great. I could not pull even one of them off, however. Okay, maybe the Ikea bowl one.
Have a good weekend!
i loved your brass video, bridget!! you're such a babe.
i loved your brass video, bridget!! you're such a babe.
Oh yes, this article about motherhood is so well written, I could quote from it the whole day, if I ever stop the crying…
On a lighter note: I love my Soludos (the classic one), constant companion during that summer.
I absolutely loooved the video <3 xoxo
Loved that first article—it was something on my mind this last week, as I myself wrote a post about the moment a few weeks ago when I realized I no longer had a newborn and it just about crushed me. (I'll post the link if you're interested, but no pressure, lol). Thanks for sharing these!
http://autodidacticambitions.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-moment-i-realized-i-no-longer-have.html
oh my gosh, yes. thank you for sharing that, torrie!!!!
I have two pairs of soludos (like the green pair you listed) and love them. Can seem stiff/tight when they first arrive bit after one or two wears they are perfect. I wouldn't say they are uncomfortable the first wear even. It's just that I had a pair, ordered another in the same size and was surprised they didn't feel the same. Realized they just needed to be "worn in". You should give them a try.
good to know – i tried a pair and thought they felt too stiff so i sent them back! my mistake.
I just have to say how amazing you look on Brass's website….you made me want to buy EVERY dress! 🙂
thanks so much kate!
oh man, your thoughts on motherhood! i have so much to say – i hope it's not too much for a blog comment. i definitely went through this after we had our fourth child. prior to that, i had never experienced those strong emotions about my children growing up. i had read thousands of pages on being present and on buddhist meditation and suddenly i found myself with a death grip on the present. it was really awful and kind of overshadowed the extreme joy i felt and pure delight in my daughter.
i was 31 when it hit me that life seemed to be moving a mach speed. i think one part of that is many of us spend a large part of our lives looking forward to the really big milestones of getting married or having babies and when you wonder if that's over (i.e., last baby) well, that can be hard to wrap you head around. also, i had always thought i would embrace aging but when i started to see the first signs of it on myself, i didn't greet it with the openness and gratitude i had hoped i would. even though my husband is 13 years older than me, it was weird to see myself age.
like you, my husband was a widower and we also adopted an orphan from Ethiopia together. when you deal with those heavy issues in your twenties (a time when most are known for their unbridled optimism), you are perhaps more aware that the line between life and death is more precarious than people would like to believe. life feels more fragile. life doesn't always wrap up with a pretty big bow on top – at least not this life here on earth.
also the mother-infant bond is extremely intense and there are a lot of hormones at play to ensure our infants are well cared for. to get churchy for a moment, the prophet isaiah uses the mother-baby dyad as a metaphor for the new heaven and new earth. it's pure love. (also you mentioned in your bio, i believe, having faith questions – right now i'm loving the book The Skeletons in God's Closet. good stuff.)
two other thoughts – maybe your family is not complete? my husband and i decided to have a 5th baby and i just have not experienced those super intense emotions this time around (for the most part). and 2 – i think i was anemic postpartum with my fourth and that could have contributed to some of the intense emotions i had experienced. maybe that could be a possibility too?
i just want to give you hope that i had the same feelings and i feel like i'm mostly on the other side. (fingers crossed). just because you're feeling this right now does not mean you will always feel this way. also, i totally think social media feeds this, with so many women making motherhood their entire identity (look at all if the Mama Bird shirts on IG right now!). but anytime we create an identity based on something outside of ourselves, well, we'll have a pretty shaky sense of self!
rachel, thanks so much for this comment. so much.
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