Italian Train Travel…what we’ve learned so far.
Bridget asked me, “the husband” in “Tales of Me and the Husband”, to write this post. I’m not sure why. In any case, let’s begin.
Italian trains are a bit tricky. Getting from Milano to Orvieto, for example, is not as simple as you might think. You’re thinking, “just go to the web-site, and book your tickets.” Having tried that several times now, here’s what we’re saying about that suggestion: Forget about it. Evidently, the Tren Italia website was designed by an Italian lover, not a Swiss engineer. Even on the English version of the site one encounters all sorts of frustrations, including all sorts of words—indeed, crucial words!—left un-translated. In addition, it’s hard to figure out if you’re actually getting the “familia offerta” (which we desperately need); and then, of course, you need to know the differences between the Regional trains (Regionale), the Inter-City trains (IC), and the High Speed trains (Frecciarossa–that one is fun to say), as all of them appear to have their own ways about them too. So, instead of beating your head against a key-board, we have found it really helpful to pop into a local travel agent (watch for the Tren Italia signs out front). These helpful folk are scattered all over Italian towns and, as you’d expect, they know the “ins” and the “outs” of the system. And all the ones we’ve spoken to so far have a pretty good working knowledge of English too (I know, shame on us for not knowing Italian better—but we’re improving as we go, so back off!). For their help you will pay an extra 5 Euro or so for your tickets. But you will also get tickets to a train that is going North to Varenna rather than a train that is going East to Verona; and when you want to go to Varenna, that seems like a pretty good deal.
Of course, you still need to get on the right train at the station and, frankly, that can be a bit tricky too. Here is Milano Centrale, the enormous Station right in the center of Milano. [Insert my pictures of the beautiful station here, please, Bridget?]
[Historical off-topic detour. Here are some fun facts related to Milano Centrale: the station was commissioned by Mussolini in the 1930’s. In 1945, after he was killed (by Italian anti-fascist partisans? British secret service? It doesn’t seem like anyone is really sure), his corpse was hung upside down (with one of his girlfriends and some others) at an Esso gas station just a few miles from this spot. Apparently, Italians wanted to see him dead and throw rocks at his body. One more thing, Mussolini was actually shot just a couple of miles from where we stayed on Lake Como, near Tremezzo, as he tried to escape into nearby Switzerland. Ain’t history grand?]
In any case, as you can see, Milano Centrale is massive (like Lord Farquaad, was Mussolini over-compensating?). Everyone in the station is moving really fast. And everyone looks lost. Everyone. Ask someone for help? Forget about it. And, by all means, don’t let one of the luggage porters outside help you with your bags!! We made that mistake on day one, when trying to get to Lake Como. For his ten minutes of help, he demanded 40 Euro (not 2 like he seemed to indicate when we asked how much when we got out of the Taxi). So, rather than getting in a fist-fight right there in the station, or, worse, having him run off with my daughter like “Taken”—who am I kidding, I don’t have Liam Neeson’s set of skills—I just paid the man. Extortion, plain and simple. Live and learn.
Anyway, we were taking an Inter City train from Milano to Orvieto. But the big, electronic Board you see Bridget looking at here didn’t mention Orvieto at all [insert picture, Bridget, here].
People, Listen!! Italian trains are listed in order by time of departure and BY THEIR FINAL DESTINATION! “Of course”, you say. But when you’re scrambling to find a train to Orvieto, A TRAIN THAT LEAVES IN 15 MINUTES AND IN A MASSIVE STATION A MILE WIDE WITH PLATFORMS A MILE LONG, you gotta know this crucial detail. Your ticket doesn’t tell you that information either. So looking at the board for Orvieto is a waste of time. That’s where your train number and departure time come in really handy. So, when we found those on the board, we saw that our train was listed as Napoli (i.e., Naples; aside: why do we Anglicize some Italian city names? Why do we call it Rome, when we could call it Roma? Seriously.). And then next to that information, in smaller print, is the scrolling list of stops. If you stand there long enough, you’ll see yours. There was Orvieto right there somewhere in the middle. Thanks be to God. That’s when we got our Platform number too—number 10. More walking. And there’s our train! But wait! Before boarding—did you validate your ticket??? Parker, did you validate your ticket?
Our tickets told us we were booked into coach #7 (a specific car on the train, so watch out for that), and we had specific seats too. Now each little compartment on the train has 6 seats and a door. We didn’t book six seats, because little Anders is free. In hindsight, that’s a mistake. The 6 of us were joined (with all our gear for three months) for our entire 5-hour train-ride by an old Italian fellow who did nothing except offer candy to our kids. Sweet, I know. But after a while, you, as faithful readers, can imagine how Bridget reacted to this. “No grazie”, she kept saying, her voice becoming more animated each time. And then, of course, when Parker realized he was not getting any more free candy (after gelato and cookies already that day–Bridget insists I add), he would begin to whine and cry. At which point, the man would make the offer again (seemingly to make Parker happy), as if he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation (that’s sugar!) or the increasingly emphatic “No grazie.” Well this vicious cycle repeated itself several times during our 5-hour ride.
Add to that annoyance, this: the train kept stopping (sometimes in the middle of nowhere) and when it did, they (who?) would shut off the AC. Was this person not also on the train? or did they do this remotely from some AC’ed HQ? Sitting inside a piece of steel on a nearly 100 degree day with no AC gets to be a bit much. So bring water, dear reader, lots of water. Prepare to enter a flop-sweat.
But don’t drink too much or you’ll need to use the WC (the toilet) on the train. And THAT’S another story all together. How does one say “House-keeping!!” in Italian? Having never been to one, I’m assuming this particular toilet approximated what one might find in a Russian gulag. Important tip: while you’re technically not allowed to use these when the train is stopped at a station, you definitely don’t want to use these toilets when the train is up to speed. I don’t understand the physics of it, but if you use it then, you’re gonna get wet, since the toilet appears, at least on this old train, to be nothing more than a hole straight down to the tracks (maybe it’s like spitting into the wind?). Male readers (are you out there?), I beg you, do NOT stand and pee. Big mistake. Huge! I, for one, will not make it again. Ever. If you do, bring lots of wet-wipes too. And a change of clothes. (P.S. We have been on some other Italian trains where the facilities were immaculate.)
This post was great! Loved all the info about the Italian trains and the humor too. We spent a lot of time on trains in Germany, but it seems much more organized. Some of the things are similar, like the end destination only on the board and the disgusting toilets in some of the trains (especially the regional trains).
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Oh the joys of international travel!
We took high speed trains in Italy (bought tickets on the website – say what?! I'm feeling like a genius now!) Easier, as we were going between big cities, but efficient and fast! Hope things go smoothly now that the learning curve is straightening out. Loving following along 🙂
you ARE a genius. even rick steve's will say it's a super confusing website!
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Haha I love the part about the old man feeding your kids candy! I would be so pissed- and I don't even have kids yet, I just can imagine lol. I've had mostly pleasant train experiences in Europe, but one time a man sitting next to me was eating fried chicken out of a plastic bag with his fingers. I wanted to part laugh, part throw up. Luckily we brought a bottle of champagne, so we at least got a little buzz and got over it. I think it was an Italian train too 😉
ha! fried chicken ou of a plastic bag. had he offered you some would you have taken it?!
we've had pretty pleasant experiences too, honestly. although the only other two times i've been in europe, i wasn't traveling with kids, so i think i could overlook more things! all in all, it wasn't too bad though.
(but, you're right, nothing a little buzz can't fix! noted. next time, i bring champagne.)
Haha! Love his directions for you to insert pictures! I can only imagine how confusing & probably frustrating it was/is learning the train system in a "hands-on" sort of way + all the kids & luggage! Yikes!
Bahahaha, this is great. The candy part in particular, haha. Although I am a little surprised at the booking issues. When we were in Italy, we booked all of our trains at a kiosk at the station only a bit before the train left. It was relatively cheap and I was shocked at how easy it was. But this was also 2008. Perhaps over the years, engineers attempting to improve the system have actually made it worse? It's been known to happen, I suppose.
OR you guys are much savvier than we are.
This is great, totally captures the reality of traveling/living abroad. Even if things aren't confusing, just being in a different place is disorienting, no matter how clear it is! In the end these things make great stories, but in the moment I've been known to start crying in the middle of confusing places 🙂 Really enjoying following your adventures in Italy!
this was funny to read, as an English person – our trains are kind of crappy too so I recognised lots of stuff- but it mainly made me wonder taking a train in America is like?
I have also taken a car train from Germany to Italy – that was hilaaarious. There was a fist fight between staff and some passengers! We stopped for a while and they moved our train backwards and forwards for a bit.
I took a train from NYC once, and that was confusing enough for me (no train travel here in our Ohio cornfields). If I were in Italy, I would've plopped down on the floor and cried. But I loved this. Tell Steve to write more!
This is real. Recently ended up in Naples instead of Florence.
noooooooooo.
Fun post. Love hearing Steve's perspective!
Bridget–I'd love to know the source for your black skirt. You are looking wonderful in all these ItLy posts.
thank you mary beth! asos! old but they always have things like it. search "midi skirt"
My first European train ride was in Poland, when I was 15 and traveling with friend and 3 adults. We were seated in a car with 1 extra seat. The extra seat was next to my friend (again, age 15) and the man who occupied it was looking at porn the entire time. Luckily we all had a very good sense of humor and nothing progressed past him just casually looking at naked women and the Americans giggling.
The post is the description of us taking the train from Florence to Foligno (Umbria), a not touristy small town where we visited friends. It was a regionale, so it was imposible to buy tickets in advance.
We checked the schedule online and prayed for the best. We bought our tickets at a machine, it took some time but we remember it as part of the adventure. I read a little bit so I knew I need the number not the destination still it was confusing.
I found the Frecciarossa easy to take and to buy the tickets, mainly because it has less stops.
Hilarious! Especially love the warning to not stand and pee, haha. Bridget – what double stroller do you have? We're in the market for one and one that travels well outside the US for my husband's job. Yours looks very sleek, the opposite of a bulky bob. Care to share?
city select by baby jogger!
LOVED this post! Informative and hilarious, the perfect combo!
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This is really nice.Thanks for sharing.
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This had me in stitches. My friend and I faced all of these issues when we travelled in Italy 5 years ago. It took us forever to book our tickets – from Turkey, of course – because the website was so confusing, and then figuring out the correct platform and coach and all the rest in Roma Termini was an adventure to say the least. I was so glad to have someone with me — it was so much easier to navigate with a friend!
I'm Italian (living in London) and I find Italian trains very confusing! Especially the part where you have to buy a ticket for a specific train journey and yet you still have to punch it before boarding, or else you get a fine!
Thanks for sharing this funny but truthful account of Italian train travel!
We just spent some time in Italy and travelled by train – I thought the system was actually relatively easy. How do they list trains on the boards in the US? In the UK, they are listed by ultimate destination and time, and then have a list of stopping places.
Also, you need the Man on Seat 61 and you can book on a much easier to use site than TrenItalia – Italia Rail you can even pay in dollars!
One tip we found though, was if you want to use a regional train, don't book in advance, just use the kiosk at the station – we had to buy ours again as we couldn't actually pick them up from the machine.