Everyone warns, when one bemoans the passing of time, “Oh, wait till you see how fast it goes with number two!” Well, they’re right, those witches. Anders is four months old. Last night I was lying in bed, next to him as always, trying really hard to go through the motions, as though I were presently doing them, of what it was like to get in bed, nurse, and cosleep with him only a few months ago when he was a brand new baby. Did he coo? How close did we snuggle? What exactly were his sounds that woke me up to alert me that he was ready to nurse again? What did his body feel like in my arms? Even though I’ve only just experienced it, in some ways it feels like quite awhile ago and also a bit hazy. Did I take enough pictures? Did I enjoy it all? When did his body become a bit more cumbersome to nurse while holding him and walking around the house? Last month or the month before?
There are so many days that I just want a little bit of alone time, but then in the next minute I stop and realize that my baby is growing up, quite literally, before my eyes and I feel guilty for not wanting to spend every single second enjoying this time with him. Some days I wish time would stand still, other days I can't wait for it to move on so that I can see my Henry as a boy, a teenager, a young man.
xo, Sarah
http://www.sarahhartley.net
After all the laughter, some tears now – you always get right to my heart with your words and pictures. This post is really beautiful.
My first is two days shy of 5 months, and this post really tugs at my heartstrings. It honestly might be my favorite all-time post of yours, thank you for sharing!
I go back and forth between missing the early newborn days where he was completely dependent on me yet eagerly anticipating what the future holds. I reminisce with my husband almost every day now about those newborn days, mostly because I'm afraid if I don't talk about them often, I will forget all the details, and I'm just not ready to do that yet – but will I ever be, really? Motherhood – it's a very funny thing, indeed.
thanks so much, jen! i know what you mean about that fear. motherhood is full of such highs and lows, isn't it?
Gah! He really is SO beautiful.
xx
You and your words just get me every time…I don't know how you do it but you are really good at it! My baby is now 2 and she is our last and I ache for her to stay little almost every single day…like please do not get a day older because right now is just so perfect! I still rock her to sleep every single night and she still gets a bottle before bed every single night because I'm not ready to give it up and if I rock her and she drinks a bottle till she moves out, well then so be it!
such an ache! and yes, she can have that bottle for as long as she wants!!
He really is one of the most gorgeous babies ever!
He is so precious!
I'm due with my third (and most likely last)… a boy… in two days and I'm panicking a little about what it will be like having three kids. This post reminded me of the wonderful parts of having a baby. So glad there are those wonderful moments in addition to the difficult and overwhelming parts. Thanks for rekindling that excitement that a newborn brings. 🙂
Yes. Yes. Write about the same thing, in a differnt way recently. This annie Dillard quote: "I want to stick my net into time and say 'now!' the way people plant flags on ice and snow and say 'here!'"
That second to last paragraph? Perfection. Both the writing and the substance.
Love reading your posts
Happy Medley Blog
This is so beautiful. I am a new Mommy with a 3 month old soon to be 4. My friend told me I have to stop counting the months at 18. HaHa. Anyways, I feel your pain and joy.
I went back to work this week, one day after Presley turned 6-weeks-old, and every day I came home, I thought, "She looks different! Doesn't she look different? And she's bigger. She's growing so quickly!" SIGH.
This is how I feel every.single.day. I want to soak up everything about my 10 month old, while simultaneously spending every moment with my 2.5 year old. Every time I ask my husband to put the boys to bed because I need a moment, I think to myself "Stop! They're only little for a short while. Snuggle them while you have the time." Mommy guilt is cruel.
This is how I feel every.single.day. I want to soak up everything about my 10 month old, while simultaneously spending every moment with my 2.5 year old. Every time I ask my husband to put the boys to bed because I need a moment, I think to myself "Stop! They're only little for a short while. Snuggle them while you have the time." Mommy guilt is cruel.
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