parker gets them, why can’t i have one? i mean, i would kill for a time out. i would kill for a nap. i will give you one million dollars if you tell me, “bridget. go take a nap.” and the child, he just protests such things. the other day’s gestational diabetes test is probably the closest to a time out i’ve had in awhile. almost a spa day if i’d arrived donning a white fluffy robe and the office had hiked the heat up just a smidgen more. i considered the robe, anyway.
it ain’t right.
let’s move on. the past few days have been rough. some anxiety (the middle of the night kind which is always so much bigger at the time than it is in the light of morning. crazy nighttime mind tricks.), some cold (so much nose-blowing and sneezing, which then leads me to this confession on facebook), so much toddler tantruming (we really need to dive into this in a future blog post), so much teenage drama (we won’t probably dive into this but goodness gracious me), financial stress, our pets heads are falling off…
put it all together and what do you get? am i about to break into down down baby? is this the early 90s? are you still with me?
it’s clear, even as i write, that i am in dire need of a good night’s sleep. i’m beginning to make very little sense and as i sit here my pile of tissues is growing around me such that i may actually be trapped by it soon. but, what was the point of all of this? i guess it’s something like this if a neat wrap-up is necessary: we’re all in this together. everyone’s got their shitty days and mine was today (yesterday).
how was yours? tell me something good. or bad. i’ll take either.
I hope you somehow get some rest to nurse this cold and gather strenght to fight back the anxietys and everything that bothering you – I hear you on so many levels.
I came across your blog through Licas Facebook, I was so curious to find out, who is behind those posts she is constantly liking. And now I know why and maybe it will cheer you up as well, reading that we are, indeed, all in this together.
We moved from Norway, my home country, to my husbands this summer and, like in the night, for me all those thoughts and mind tricks seem so much harder to deal with, far away from my dad and my sisters (though I might sound like a little girl now, I actually am a grown woman – well I thought I was, before I found myself beeing homesick and crying for Dad to help me out of this mess ). The teenagers at our lot are pretty mad about the move because they don't get along to well with the german language, so school is pretty rough now, finding friends not that easy so they are at each others throught all the time and the little ones, like their mum, are in the need of some time to adjust, so they are frustrated too.
But above my desk is this qoute from les miserable "even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise" – first of all, it reminds me, that everything which bothers me now isn't sooo bad at all and furthermore of course it will get better.
oh man, i resonate with feeling like a child when you're homesick–that is a HARD transition. don't discredit that! thinking of you and your family as you find your new normal! hopefully soon. xoxo.
(beautiful les mis quote too.)
Sorry. I have nothing more to offer than a hug and a high five for getting through this.
First of all you look darling in that picture up there and second of all I am sending you a big ol hug and hoping that today is a better day!!! Feel better and I am officially giving you a time out today so use it as you please but I suggest a nap….Parker can hold down the fort I am sure!!! 🙂
Oh my gosh, the middle-of-the-night anxiety! Is this a pregnancy thing, a mama thing, or just a thing for those of us who experience the joys of anxiety? I'm expecting my first baby later this year (probably around the same time as your little guy_ and lately the late-night anxiety is getting out of control! A quick bathroom break turns into me lying awake for hours unable to fall back asleep, my mind racing with the anxiety of 1,000 things. And just like you said, somehow in the morning light all of these things seem a little less terrifying. Why?!? Hope you can get a timeout soon!
YES. always come after the bathroom breaks.
sending you love!!!
Bummer! Having a cold on top of being pregnant never feels good. But hey, you still look great!
And teenagers…I get it. I'm 32 and have a 13 y/o in full blown puberty and all my friends have no idea what sort of waters I'm treading through. Haha! I guess I am pioneering it for them.
Annnd I still have two toddlers running circles around my feet.
I'm saying all of this because I probably have a decent idea of what you're dealing with and to let you know that you're very much not alone in it! I think you're right though, a couple of nights of solid sleep will do your mind and body a lot of good. I hope you find your timeout soon!
girl. yes. it's too bad that the teen years are talked about so little on blogs cause man! that's the time where we need the community the most!
Don't I know it! I think if it were not such a personal experience (for teens in general) I would write about it, but you know, I don't want to 'ruin his life' by making it public. I think at a certain point his life experiences are not mine to share. Agree?
It's a slippery slope with how much you can post on the web while your kids are transitioning into young adulthood.
completely agree! there needs to be a big anonymous blog where we can commiserate about some of the crazy teen things :-
Getting a cold while preg turns me into a little baby child. I know you're over there taking all your cider vinegar and conga vitamins (whatever) and will feel better in no time.
Tantrums: sticker chart and time outs, I'm ready to talk about this. Bring on the post.
conga vitamins. i laughed.
I'm ready for the tantrum-post too, we felt so good, that we got through some, what I thought were pretty good tantrums, and now it's even worse; let alone the teeanger drama – perhaps it's something in the air..
I keep you in my thoughts, Bridget and I really hope you get your deserved rest.
Yup, yesterday was pretty shitty for me too! Had to take my 11 week old to an OT because he's not gaining enough weight and they can't figure out what is wrong with him. Got about 5 hours of sleep, because after I had to pump in the middle of the night I couldn't go back to sleep…. I could use a time out too!
oh jessica! that's so hard. hope you get some answers soon. thinking of you and sending you love in the meantime. (and a time out!!!)
An architect and I were going back and forth about the structural design for a building (my call, not his) and after the 8th phone call (no exaggeration) I finally said, "Fine. I don't even care anymore." He later wrote me an e-mail suggesting I "have a good evening and enjoy a big glass of wine."
It's amazing how a few hours of preschool can help. I know you think you're not ready, but trust me that you are at a great phase for it. Some peer playtime for him will help with his tantrums and will give you a few needed hours of rest, and then one on one newborn time. I know this won't help the financial stress, though!
i know, i know!! i go back and forth. maybe next year?!
Wait, what? Your pets heads are falling off? How did you just mention that and then move on? WHAT?!
LOL. it's from dumb and dumber (i should've known not everyone would know that reference!).
Yuck!!! That's not fun…I order you to take a nap NOW!!
million dollars!
bridget. go take a nap.
you get a million dollars!
Bad days, scratch that, really hard days have been too frequent since I had our second baby 7 weeks ago. We've had colds, fifths disease, a turd on the floor (22 month old) and now I've got a wicked case of shingles I have I keep covered while breastfeeding
oh ashley!!!! that sounds sooooo defeating. i promise you brighter days are ahead–but that is so hard to keep sight of in the moment! hope you feel yourself soon.