I just had a birthday in November so this post is a few months too early, really. Bear with me though, because if I put a future date on them, the thoughts they may never return again.
I’ve been thinking about how my next birthday is number 3-0. And how strange that feels. More because 30 seems so very grown up and I don’t feel very grown up. Do I have to edit my wardrobe at 30? (Please no.) Am I allowed to buy a one-piece romper from Forever 21 at 30? (I’d like to.) There are so many things I don’t know how to do yet. Things I assumed 30-year olds know and know well. Like, which shade of lipstick is right for their coloring and how to do their taxes. And how long does red wine keep once it’s open? Four days? Six? I barely know how to sew a button on.
I think there are lines around my eyes that are new, and my mouth too. I’m really okay with that. Though my friend asked me recently, “Are we supposed to be getting real eye cream now?” Am I? Are we? I use coconut oil. I don’t know how to do more than one or two things to my hair, and my makeup routine is the same every day, the only embellishment would be a winged eyeliner if I’m feeling fancy.
The other day I told Steve, “My lower back actually hurts if I bend over from the waist.” He looked at me like I was expecting some solution. But I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “I’m almost 30.”
C’est la vie.
First of all, you are the cutest!
Thirty is nothing these days! You are still a young girl, so yes, Forever 21 is actually "forever" 🙂
It's funny, but just yesterday the same kinda thoughts came to me when I was trying stuff on in UrbanOutfitters' fitting room. I'm older than you but I still feel exactly the same way I did when I was twenty-two. And I personally think it's great.
Looking back on my childhood I wish my mom felt and acted less "mature" and "grow-up" then she always did, although she had me when she was awfully young.
So, enjoy! Really. You are so young and so beautiful. Your kids are lucky to have such young-looking and young-spirited mom! 🙂
thank you elena. i loved your "forever 21 is actually forever" – my motto going forward from here on out. 🙂
That's pretty much what my "about" page says… LOL
I'm about to turn 40 in June and I still don't feel grown up. 🙂 Except for a metabolism that did a complete 180, I feel so young! And coconut oil is enough. That stuff is amazing, isn't it?
i've heard that about the damn metabolisms. what is that? why must they turn on us?!
happy early birthday!!!
I turned 30 in December, and I'm still not sure how that's possible! My girlfriends and I had a conversation about this one night, how we all thought we'd be so grown-up at 30, but we all still feel like we're faking it while everyone else is a "real" adult. I wonder if it will always feel like this!
i think it must always feel this way. i can't imagine. my friends and i just passed our 10 year hs reunion and i know we were all a bit shocked by it. i think i'll feel even crazier at 20… so on and so forth!
I love your writing – I could write that under every post but this would be pretty boring, so I just throw it in every now and then 😉
Well I'm not an expert in being 30 because I just hit it on Valentines Day, but I haven't changed my so caled style yet and still not planning it. I don't feel any other way about myself and I'm pretty happy with it. For me, leaving uni, becoming a step mother, getting married, having a child of my own, was far more frightening (and amazing of course 😉 ) and an "adult" thing to do, than turning 30. For me it's just an random number (and I hope 40 will be too, but I'm a bit sceptical about that)
A friend of my husband totally freaked out about her 30 birthday, got rid of all jeans and leggins and "girly skirts", bought all kind of Anti Age product she could get her hands on and, which was most annoying, thought that she had to act totally different from now on, like brainwashed over night and wasn't herself anymore. Maybe that experience helped me to stay more calm about that birthday 😉
i so appreciate you saying that! it never gets boring 🙂
that sounds like a mid life crisis for your husband's friend! the horror! i hope i don't experience anything like that… gosh! glad your transition was smooth – i agree… i've done a lot BIGGER things thus far than turning 30. becoming stepmom at 22 was a bigger transition, to be sure! piece of cake.
I too, constantly question my wardrobe choices after 30. Here is what I have come up with. Nicole Richie is 32 and still totally kills it fashion-wise. Albeit we don't have a fortune to spend on clothes but she would definitely rock the expensive version of the Forever 21 romper and you would never look at her and say "what the hell is she thinking, she is far too old for the romper". So get on with your bad-self in the romper! I just saw one at Urban Outfitters that I'm definitely going to pick up (and I am 33!!!) I think as long as we keep it more Nicole Richie in her 30's and less Paris Hilton in her 30's, we are doing A-OK.
is it THIS one because this one is amazing. http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=29376779&color=069&parentid=MORE%20IDEAS
also, you're right. though sometimes i think celebrities can get away with things the rest of us can't. but why? solely cause they're celebrities? NO MORE. ALL THE ROMPERS.
Yes! That's it! I love the fact that it is long-sleeved. I think it creates a good balance, so you don't feel like you are showing too much skin.
ROMPERS FOR LIFE
I'm almost 30 as well and the other day just noticed I'm developing some laugh lines, too. I don't mind too much (I think they look distinguished) but it definitely surprised me.
oh my goodness, I went through the exact same thing shortly after I turned 29 (gonna be 32 in 3 weeks!)… I had a mini-life crisis, and made some changes and here I am 3 years later, not feeling any more like a grown-up than I did then, but definitely out of the "crisis-zone". I still feel a little guilty if I walk into American Eagle – I think to myself, "they're judging me, they know I'm not 22…" but I buy stuff anyway. I still don't know how to do my own taxes or even wear lipstick (I'm intimidated by it) and my motto is that red wine is drink-able, until it is gone. If I worry about the expiration, sangria it is! drown it out with other alcohols and fruit 🙂 Also – the eye cream. I don't really mind the wrinkles either, but I figure it can't hurt to use some! I've had Burts Bees for a while and like it a lot – lasts forever, too.
also – I am new to the world of using oil on my face, but want to embrace it… what do you do with the coconut oil???
ha, "they're judging me…" betcha they're not, but i would be wondering the same thing!!
and sangria! solves a multitude of expired-red-wine-crises!
oh! and coconut oil. i just use it as i would any other lotion. all over my face! neck, legs, wherever.
I'll have to give it a try!!
I'm 33 and I still shop at Forever 21! I think its more of a being able to pull if off and less of an age thing. I mean, look at Gwen Stefani! She's in her 40's and absolutely owns it.
I just turned 33 and my husband (like yours) is a bit older than me. The nice thing about that is – no matter how old you get, he will always be older and his back will always ache more ;).
this is very, very true! sorry, steve!! 🙂
I talked to my husband about the post and this whole 30 thing and he said just the same thing 😉
Ah yes, I turned 30 in September and had a mini breakdown over getting "old" but I enjoyed my birthday and afterwards I realized it really isn't as bad as I made it out to be. I'm kind of excited about being in my 30s now because it seems like people in their thirties are much more confident in themselves and really could care less about things they worried about in their twenties…so GO GET THAT ROMPER! The one thing that I have done is to be more nice to my skin and actually take care of it. I got a Mia (which is amazing if you don't have one) and I found an amazing skin serum at Trader Joes for $10 (whoop whoop). So 30's = not so bad after all!
I have heard many people say it's their best decade. I hope that's not entirely true, because what about my 40s, 50s, 60s… but I'll take it.
Mia! I've never even heard of it. Thank you!
I didn't really freak out about turning 30, but I am turning 35 on Sunday and that is TOTALLY freaking me out! I have a younger husband, he is 31 and he loves to tease me about getting old. I still don't know how to do most of those things you mentioned and AE jeans just look the best on me, so I'm gonna just keep buying them and rocken those cute forever 21 tops! 🙂 Honestly I know woman in their forties who are stylish and look amazing, so I am trying to remember that! I don't really have any wrinkles yet, but I have used eye cream since before I was 30, so I don't know if it worked or I just have good genes. My mom is 76 and looks like she is 56, so that is good for me! 🙂
good genes! you don't even need that eye cream! 🙂
I so enjoy your blog and have always been intrigued by how mature you must have been to become a mother of four at such a young age and to shoulder their loss and your responsibility. I'll be 32 on my next birthday and that boggles my mind..many older people in my life have said their 30s was their best decade–the knowing-who-you-are bit–but I'll say that I struggle a little with losing the "endless possibility" part of my teens and 20s. And BTW…your skin looks flawless…must be the coconut oil!
thank you susannah!!
so funny, because i turned 40 in october and i still wear the same make-up that i did when i was 30, which is the same as when i 25. i still wonder about the red wine thing too, but if it smells and tastes ok i don't worry. the difference between 30 and 40 is shockingly very small in the way you'll feel. at least it is for me. i still don't feel grown up. but i no longer shop at forever 21 and i do use eye cream, so maybe I am? 😉
you know, it's not such a bad thing to no longer shop at forever 21… in fact… i probably should've stopped long ago!
I turn 30 next year too. It's weird. A part of me is ok with it because it means saying good-bye to my 20's which have had highs and LOWS. It's probably the most formative adult decade in life, really. I'm kind of looking forward to a couple of things about being 30, like being taken seriously at work. That will be nice. 🙂
I know how you feel. I'm turning 28 this year and it feels weird. I'm making a 30 before 30 list of things I want to do before I'm 30. One of them was going to Sephora to learn how to do my makeup like n adult.
I use the round up method of calculating my age, too. It's a holdover from when I was a kid, but honestly it causes me to not know my actual age at a given moment, which I'm totally fine with. BECAUSE in the words of Aaliyah, "Age ain't nothin' but a numba." The older I get the more I realize that the only thing you're supposed to be doing at any age is living life. Preferably by your own rules.
So I feel you on this BIG TIME. My next birthday is my 29th {in april} and I feel like it has to be a really good year because 30 will be the next one. As much as I feel like I am still in high school most of the time, I also think I am getting better with age. Let's hope that's true.
As far as how long does a bottle of wine last once you open it…I had no idea either and would probably drink the same open red wine for a few months {so sad but so true} so I asked last May while I was in Sonoma and Napa Valley and I got different answers everywhere. But on average most said 5-7 days.
I turned 30 this summer…it is so bad…you could use the fact that " your having a really hard time turning 30" to at the very least get a great present out of the deal 🙂
Omg 30. I turn 30 in Novemver 2014, too. Suddenly it's the excuse/rationale for all sorts of things – sort of like you said about the back pain. Recently I was thinking about what I'd learned in the last 30 years. The thoughts that stood out were things like: buy a quiet dishwasher. Haha. And I bought some wrinkle cream. If you find some brilliant eye cream please let the rest of us "adults" know. Xo
I was a mess when I turned 30, but now that I'm almost two years into my thirties, I've gotta admit that I kind of love them. The aging part isn't so fun (wrinkles…eek!), but I'm more confident in who I am and don't feel the need to justify what I do to anyone like I did in my 20's. Embrace it! If you're anything like me, I think you'll find it's not so bad as it probably is in your mind.
I had what felt like a mid-life crisis when I turned 30 (last month!) It feels totally weird when I have to write down or tell someone how old I am because I don't "feel" what I think 30 should feel like. But other than the denial, I'm feelin pretty good. My 30 post: http://www.embergrey.com/2014/02/its-my-birthday-today-and-im-30-high.html
I think there's nothing else to do but to stick together, denial and all!
XO
emily
So I always have a pre-birthday bummer because most of my friends are older than me, so I hit the 25 depression at 23 because everyone else in my life was turning 25.. Then I turned 25 last year and feel like the age fits better than any before it… I'm really hoping that happens with 30 too haha.. I'm commenting mostly about the lower back thing- I'm a Pilates instructor and see lower back pain fairly frequently, its often cause by weak glutes (your butt), I suggest try to work on your glutes (google, pilates glute exercises easy) haha may nip the pain in the butt (get it;) also stretching your lower back, hamstrings and butt will help.
Love this post! You sound like you have a great perspective on things. If it helps, 30-33 have been for me–and many of my friends–the happiest years yet. I also wrote a piece on 33 for Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kylah-goodfellow-klinge/this-is-33-the-landing-on-the-stairs_b_4795721.html. Parallels a few of your points. 🙂
i like the sound of 30-33 being the happiest! and now clicking over to check out your article!
you are a beautiful writer!!! i loved it. thank you for sharing it with me!