Sunday was Steve’s birthday. And while a post on Sunday (or Monday, as the beginning of the “work week” — can we call it that as bloggers?) would’ve made the most sense, the weekend was busy and I didn’t get my act together. I was cooking (breakfast for dinner! his request!) and folding laundry and his parents are in town and, well, the post was never posted (or written). And, on top of a post-less birthday, I really did not feel like I made a big enough fuss over him for his birthday. I had been asking him, “pleeeease tell me what you want.” Because honestly, one can only give a man so many J. Crew Camp socks or non-iron shirts or books (or lingerie which, if I’m being honest, is an awesome gift to give to a man) before enough is enough.
He said, “I really don’t need anything,” so I wrote him a little card detailing a night about the town at his pick of three really awesome restaurants. And then we gave him two little presents, all wrapped in brown paper (Trader Joe’s bags, my favorite wrapping paper as of late): Les Mis (movie, not book) and a snow hat. Really, the whole thing was terribly exciting, can you even stand it? And, bless him, he didn’t even care whereas such a non-fuss birthday might’ve had me a little bummed. I’m not proud to admit it but I am speaking the truth.
(I hate when men say they really don’t need anything. Men are not easy to shop for, at least Steve isn’t. He’s just all content with whatever when I know my birthday list could be, if I allowed it, a mile-long. So men, do us a favor, and tell us what you want.)
Here we are, at least a few days after his birthday and I am a terrible wife. He doesn’t think so, but if the shoe fits…
The other night we were in bed and I was rustling through a rarely opened drawer in my night stand and found a journal that I kept when we were dating. I opened it and began chuckling to myself at some of the things I wrote. He was lying down, his back to me, half asleep at that point, but asked me to read it aloud which I barely could bring myself to do. I did though, and it was hilarious. Terribly sappy and terribly sweet and, let’s just say, present Bridget thought past Bridget very silly.
But the truth is that it was also really fun to read. However saccharine it was, it was true. And I’m glad I got it down in writing. I had forgotten the time he called and told me he needed the license plate number of his car for some insurance thing (I was borrowing the car) and so, one night, I trudged out in the snow to check for him while still on the phone, and there he was, leaning against the car. What a stud. I’d forgotten the notes he wrote me for every day I was in Israel (three weeks!) and how excited I was to see him again. I’d forgotten what those feelings were like at the time. The feelings are different now. They’re more comfortable, more familiar, more steady. Fewer highs but fewer lows too. More like the perfect pair of jeans than a fancy pair of earrings. Truth be told, I’d rather be here than there.
And the idea that I’d forgotten some of these little things? That we’ve been together long enough that there are things I’ve forgotten? It made me stop and think, “hey, we’ve been together awhile.” We’re coming up on our seventh wedding anniversary and when did that happen? Seven feels so real. Like, we should be some wise, sage married couple by now (we’re not). Yes, I know, it’s not sixty seven but still! Seven. Feels awfully legit.
I was scrolling through an old photo album on the computer recently and came across pictures I hadn’t seen in awhile. Ones from our first summer together, and some trips we took. There was an excessive amount of kissing pictures. The above is our trip to Switzerland when we got engaged. It’s a favorite.
Anyhow, he’s my best friend. He is my best friend. And he is just a really, really good person.
Oh I loved reading this! You have such a good way with words, and the way you relate your relationship now to the perfect pair of jeans is so so good. And yes, men suck to shop for! Wyatt is exactly the same. Simple minded and never wants anything. This year for his birthday he said "I want to buy you a bike for my birthday". Yeah, I didn't let him. I however have pinterest boards wholly dedicated to things I want. You two are adorable, and Happy Birthday to that handsome and sweet man of yours.
thanks chelsea! now, if i signed steve up for pinterest i wonder if HE would use it to pin things he wants. (no, never.)
wyatt, wanting to get you a bike for his birthday… what a guy.
This was so great to read!!! Happy belated birthday to your hubs! I love that you said seven years feels legit. I think so too. My husband and I have been married for seven years and it hardly seems like it could be possible. I feel like I just met the guy 🙂 Guess that is a good thing. haha
live these stories. this makes me want to pull out my old journals and reminisce with my hubby.
http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2013/10/cake-in-five-minutes.html
I love this, and yes, 7 is legit! Lucky 7 it sounds like. Glad you are so happy together, I love rereading old journals and reliving those early days too. happy anniversary.
Is it weird that I aspire my love story to be like yours? I mean technically David is only 4.5 years older than me. And we don't have any kids (yet). But still. I adore what you said about less highs……but less lows. And how the feelings are steady. And that that's a good thing. P.S. It's David's birthday next week and OH MY GOSH WHY CAN'T MEN JUST TELL YOU WHAT THEY WANT. BE FUSSY FOR ONCE. I hear ya on that one.
oh mads. you're kind to us.
it is such a good thing… the steadiness. happy birthday david and WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL MADS WHAT YOU WANT.
this is so sweet, 7 is totally legit. we are coming up on our second wedding anniversary, but 6th anniversary of dating (can we still celebrate that? i think yes).. and yes, it's definitely more steady…but i'd take the perfect pair of jeans over fancy earrings any day.
you absolutely can celebrate that.
i like the way you talk about your relationship because i can relate. i have to admit that i do sometimes long for those early days but there were some lows too! just like you said.
when we were more newly married there was a long time where i missed the dating days–the highs of them. but i really do think it gets better and better.
Beautiful! I'm so happy to have found you.
http://brasshoney.blogspot.com
lovely as always, bridget!
I kept a journal for my husband our entire engagement (without telling him) and gave it to him as a wedding present. It was filled with letters and some poorly thought out poems (literary great, I am not). He still hasn't read the whole thing–he likes to hoard them because he never wants to reach the end (we've been married 3.5 years). When he does read it, he does so aloud, and I want to crawl under the sheets and never come out I'm so mortified. So, I empathize!
yes! and making ME read it aloud was cruel and unusual. 🙂
also… that is the sweetest gift.
We just passed 4 years a few months ago. I really like your analogy of a great pair of broken in jeans versus sparkly diamond earrings. So true. I do love me a good pair of great fitting jeans. (I will be content with a little sparkly now and then 😉 )
Love this post. I love how you said there are fewer highs and fewer lows. I have been married for five years and lately I have been missing the highs….but not the lows. The lows of when you first meet someone are scary. There's very little security. But the highs, well, they are why people keep getting divorced and keep chasing the "one true love." There is something about security and comfort. It's a different kind of love….and probably more real love than just those highs from the beginning.
i think you're absolutely right.
This is so sweet! Men truly are hard to shop for! They should definitely help us out a little more than they do! My husband (of 5 months) and I have been together 4 1/2 years… it is fun & weird to look back & think back to times before & the memories we've made. It doesn't seem like we've been together long enough that I should be getting the years confused with when things happened but, I do. Happy belated birthday to Steve!!
Ahhh, this is just so…perfect. Your line about perfect pair of jeans vs. fancy earrings is just…perfect. You, my friend, are an excellent writer and I love your posts.
Here's to you and to Steve (happy belated birthday!!) and to the two of you together!
-Amy
thanks so much amy 🙂
Late late HBD to Mr. Steve, but this post is great. You guys. You guys have the kind of love I hope Craig and I can have forever too. It's not perfect, but it's real and it's deep and it's just amazing.
this is the best post ever. I LOVE reading about you two. That Steve, he is such a good one, and he is lucky to have you as a wife and mother to his kids. Post more kissing pictures.
how about i just email you them?
My husband keeps a list on his phone of everything I say I want so that for Christmas, my birthday, anniversary, whatever… he doesn't have to figure it out. And by then I have forgotten what I said I wanted and he looks like a genius every time (which he kind of is for keeping a list). I keep telling myself I need to do the same thing, but have yet to actually do it. Looks like I am a slow learner. 🙂
your husband is a genius.
recently steve did that for me – a total surprise gift when it was a passing comment of mine. it's sweet when that happens.
I adore this 🙂
This is just so honest and great. I've been wanting to start journaling again and this tipped me over the edge. I'm doing it.
Also, the top picture is the cutest ever!
thanks so much rebeka! journal away!
"The feelings are different now. They're more comfortable, more familiar, more steady. Fewer highs but fewer lows too."
This just speaks to me. Thanks so much for sharing!!!!
thanks for reading, chelsey!
I loved this! Cheers to amazing, wonderful hubbys and the wives they wound up with 😉
amen!
I know this isn't the real point of your post, but can I complain about the "not wanting things" thing for a sec? NO ONE in my family ever wants anything as gifts except me (I'm like you – my wishlist is probably a mile long). I don't understand! I can clearly differentiate between things I need and things I want, but that doesn't keep me from wanting new things. but lo, every time birthdays and Christmas roll around and you try to drag out gift ideas from my parents or my brother, there's never an answer. I really just don't get it.
they're trying to be all "oh look at me, need not want not" and make us mile-long list girls feel selfish 🙂
this post is so sweet. i smiled the whole way through. y'all really are such a precious couple, with such an amazing love story. xoxoxo
Cheesy photos with your man are the best! Who cares if they're silly? It's awesome to be reminded of the times when those feelings were SO big. My man-friend and I have been racking some up lately and I think I'll do an entire post of cheesy photos…. #youvebeenwarned
I just really like you, that is all.
you're sweet. thanks, friend!
trader joe's bags and the leftover hemp from my husband's high school hippie days make for wonderful wrapping paper a la "brown-paper packages tied up in string" aaaand it's cheap/environmentally-friendly. so go us.
fist pump. (the trees thank us)
Love this post. Live how you remembered those first silly but goosebump stages of dating. All the highs and lows of expectations and reality colliding.
I've been browsing through your posts and about page for a good hour now (after you liked a few photographs on my IG feed) – I can't help but be intrigued by your unique and beautiful love story. And you have such a beautiful way with words; I'm hooked!
I find that even after just three years of marriage that I'm forgetting things that happened in the early days (or even just in the couple months!). I regret not taking the time to write down little moments more often, even if there was a risk I would feel self conscious reading them later. Thanks for sharing this sweet moment from your past!