What now? Oh, can you get some anxiety when you’re just nursing less? Not stopping altogether, but we’re down to twice a day now and I feel like maybe that’s why? Blame it on the hormones! I’m not sure, my Mom can also be this way, so maybe it’s just genetics but it feels like lately I want a big ‘ol time-out, cup of tea, and a shut-off switch for my brain. On top of that, a lot of people dear to me are dealing with some really sad things right now. I’m the type who really feels that stuff. When I get this way, I listen to Bridge Over Troubled Water really, really loud and I pretty much have to be lying down by the time Art and Paul are harmonizing, “Sail on silver girl, sail on by.” It’s like my thing. Some of us dip into the cookie dough, others have a song. What of it.
As you probably already know, my living room is gray. The man, the myth, the legend, Denny-the-painter, came, saw, and conquered. He exclaimed how much he loves to paint (that’s one of the jobs he used to legit do) so much that I’m pretty sure I should have charged him to let him do it. Either way, it’s painted. Country-folk yellow, be gone. And now I’m like, “Ooh. That rug doesn’t look as good. Neither does that chair.” You know how it goes. So, I’m in the market for, oh, probably just a rug. It was to be expected. Our straight-from-the-racks-of-Home-Goods rug was not going to cut it forever.
for me upon her departure. She has more than one friend dealing with some serious cancer right now and said it was a huge comfort. Also, I’m pretty sure she worries a little bit about the state of her youngest daughter’s spirituality. I’m going to read it because sometimes I can get bogged down by the state of the world which, if you didn’t already know, can look pretty grim at times. Also, my book club is reading this one
! I’m only number 772 on the wait list so hopefully I’ll get it before we meet.
So, what’s going on in your lives? Tell me some happy things.
I too have been feeling the weight of some hard news…sudden deaths, sickness, miscarriages. It sucks, and unfortunately I don't have a song, and instead eat a lot of ice cream! 🙂 But on the bright side my grandpa, who is battling prostate cancer, is taking really well to his latest treatments and will likely live a bit longer and more comfortably than we initially thought. The sweet and the sour hey?
love to your grandpa (and comfortable living!!), heather!! sweet and sour indeed… xo
we have a home goods rug too! – i'm ready to retire it! waiting until we paint too!
would LOVE for you to come link this post up on my first Life Lately. link up! it's up on my blog now and is just a place to link posts about… well, life. pretty easy. 🙂 every monday. xo
blair! will check out the link up! i'm the worst at those, i must admit, but you're great so…
Happy things… That might be a hard one… Having a down day. But…today was my last teaching day at school! Horay!!!
hooray indeed. summer for robyn!!!!
Sorry that there's some tough stuff going on. That's never fun. Happy things? Our school year is dwindling down. 2 weeks to go. My dad comes to visit in July & this is the first time that I've gone longer than 3 weeks seeing him, ever in almost 34 years. Lots of happy. Can't wait to see a replacement rug! Happy Monday.
that is impressive. i love that you see him that often.
I am reading the light between the oceans right now also. It is slooow moving for me with that book. I actually stopped and read another book, and now I am back to trying to read that book.
and love you girl. that is all.
slow-moving? dammit. i'll get through it anyway. i host the book club after all…
love YOU.
Oh that song. It is like life blood to me. Thanks for helping me remember that.
a fellow s&g fan? fist pump.
What?! Bridget, GET OUT OF MY BRAIN. I am the exact same way. I was just telling a good friend of mine the other day that I often need down time (alone!!!) so that I can recharge because I often feel the problems of others as if they're my own. That's not to say that I feel them as deeply, but I definitely feel them. The only difference is that I watch Breakfast at Tiffany's is my moments of sorrow. It always lifts the spirits! xo
mary beth from annapolis and co. just did a post about this very thing – how she feels things really deeply. you should check it out. and then tell her to GET OUT OF YOUR BRAIN too!
you know i've never seen breakfast at tiffanys? that's wrong.
Oh man, May/June craziness and first time allergies? Hunger Games three-finger salute for you. As far as the allergies go, I've found that most meds don't make me feel well enough to actually justify taking them. Riding it out and washing my face more often (even if just splashing cold water) seems to make me feel all-around the best, everything considered. Hope you get some relief soon!
i think i'm the same. i hate taking drugs! i did a shot of apple cider vinegar though. yum! (not)
Oh sister. Hugs to you friend! Backing down on the nursing is emotional for sure. I remember the last night Easton nursed—or shall I say—first night Easton didn't nurse, very well. I came out of his room squalling. I'm pretty sure Lance thought someone had died for all the tears. You've had a busy time. Lots to look forward too. Sometimes when all the hoopla fades, I get a little blue myself. But, at least its summer and not friggin winter! Can I get an AMEN?!?!?! Read that book…and tell me how it is. I read the Amazon link and it sounds fabulous. I like a good book of "proof"…even though I fully Believe. It's still intriguing to me. It's Monday girl. You're at home…and I'm in my cubicle. That should be reason for a toe touch if nothing else! 😉 Hope today is good to you! xoxo
being home v. a cubicle – you speak the truth, my friend. i am grateful!! and when we have the last nurse… tears. you feel me.
Good news? I just had Nutella Crepes. that was a bright spot in my day. I hope you get a chance to relax soon.
oh yum.
I am tired but the good news is that I am going to Barcelona this weekend! And I will turn 30 the week after, it makes me giddy!
barcelona!!! that came up in conversation just yesterday here. i'm dying to go there one day. have fun! and happy early birthday!
One of my good friends is getting married in two weeks. She's so excited it's cute and they are so in love it's adorable to watch them. Also, it's on a cruise so 4 day vacation for the husband & I. Also, this fall will be full of babies as 4 of my friends are due between September and the first week in November.
a cruise!! to where? i have never been on one but i hope to change that one day!!!
Canada! They're getting married in Boston on the ship and then we set sail for Canada later that day. This will be my first cruise too.
oh that sounds so fun. enjoy your time!! (i love canada!)
I want to see pics of the gray! Exciting! Sorry about the allergies, ugh. Can't Dr. Marianne tug on your toes or something and get rid of them? 🙂 Good news for us? Well, looking past the move (which is sucking the life out of me) we have a 3 week trip to the West planned that includes Utah and Vail- Halle-freaking-lujeh!!
ps- if you're really wanting to spruce up your living room, I'd love to help you, even if it's just a few things (and on a budget) and put together a room design for you:)
chelsea, our budget is so small it is boooooring. can you just come out here and do it all pro-bono? (jk. but not.)
dr. marianne is gone now. i got the sniffles just after she left. figures.
Have you ever heard of the book strength finders 2.0? It's by the Gallop company, and it basically tells you what your top 5 strengths are and how to improve them. My top one is Empathy, and I'm sure that is in your top 5 also. Anyway, it was really helpful for my husband and I do to do together because where he isn't empathetic, I can help him, and where I am TOO empathetic and let it bog me down or consume my thoughts, he helps me. It seems like you know yourself well, just wanted to pass that along in case you're in the personality tests! It's really intriguing! The happy thing…I'm moving to Paris in September, and I'm pretty happy about that 🙂 Hope you have a great day!
i have never heard of it! it almost sounds like the love languages book (but, not, you know). i'll check it out!
paris in september?! um, yes, that is really, really cool. best of luck to you!!!!
Oh, I might need to check that book out! I am nearly over-empathetic and my husband has absolutely NO empathy. So frustration rises to the surface easily in our house, even when we both try. Thanks!
My coping "thing" is to put on Little Women (the version with Susan Sarandon and Christian Bale) and organize something…having a little routine like Bridge Over Troubled Water definitely helps!
I'll be sending happy thoughts your way!!
YES to little women. i love that feel-good movie. (except no matter how many times i've seen it, i'm never thrilled by amy and laurie together.)
Ooh I just finished your book club book. It's good. Really slow in the beginning but the last part, it's good. I think maybe I would have enjoyed the whole thing more if I were a parent? Maybe not? I don't know.
Gray is a good color and a new rug is a small price to pay to get rid of the yellow walls. Maybe you should have charged your dad, and then used the money to buy a rug? 🙂
i'll soldier on even if it's a slow start (i think).
i should have charged my dad, you're right.
My beautiful girls and I just signed up for the summer reading program, and I am reading Abraham Lincoln The Vampire Hunter (I love nonsense), Raising Healthy Eaters, and The Striker. On ou!r fun menu today is cleaning. They are so exited
that is such a cute idea!! i should do something like that with lindsey.
I totally hear you on the whole decreased-nursing-moody-anxiety thing. I stopped nursing Navi – well in my case exclusive breast pumping (good times)- a few months ago and I swear, looking back on it from a sane(ish) hormonal point of view, I was totally just in a funk for several weeks.
ah, thank you tisse. i'm glad you said that. i think that must have something to do with it…
exclusive pumping? you're a rockstar.
I actually have a playlist on my itunes titled "close my eyes and listen". You can bet "Bridge Over Troubled Water" is on there- so's "The Boxer". That was one of my favorite songs to go to sleep to as a child.
S&G is my soul, I swear.
As for "The Light Between Oceans" it starts slow, but I couldn't put it down at the end and was up until 4 AM finishing it. Definitely provokes deep thoughts.
SAME! i grew up listening to them. love them.
Last spring I got the flu really bad and my milk supply went down really low and BAM I got really depressed. As soon as I recovered from the flu it went away, but seriously that was so scary for me. I've felt down in the dumps before, but never depressed. Totally the hormones. Those buggers!
i've been saying to steve, "as if it's not enough that we carry for 9 months, give birth, and give over our boobs to them… no, we also get moody when we nurse less." ridiculous! thanks for sharing that though, liz.
Hi Bridget! I've been following your blog for a while now and always appreciate your honesty. I felt compelled to respond to this post in particular because I just finished weaning my 18mth old in the last month (from 3x/day to 0x/day) because I'm going in for surgery (tomorrow…yikes!) to have my thyroid removed. Talk about a bummer! I was planning on nursing until my little one stopped on her own, but instead I was sort of forced to wean and it was really emotional for me. I definitely experienced a dose of depression and never really expected it. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm sending happy thoughts your way and hoping for some unexpected moments of joy throughout your day that make life a bit easier right now. Hugs!
faith, thank you so much for sharing that!!! i imagine that was really hard… not doing it on your own terms, but those babies are resilient… best of luck with your surgery tomorrow!!! sending good thoughts your way 🙂
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i've been reading that book. it's so interesting!!!
Your old dryer/my new dryer is making me happy today 🙂
🙂
If you want any fun/fast reading, the new Dan Brown (author of Angels & Demons and Da Vinci Code) just came out with a new one: Inferno. Really good historical art/book fiction/thriller/mystery thing. I like it.
Bridget, i'm sorry you're feeling down in the dumps. I can't share personally, because i haven't been given the opportunity to have a baby YET, but, i swear there is a point…. Cup of Jo, i'm pretty sure, wrote a while ago about her experience with weaning and she too had the blues. It was very interesting and stuck in my head as a "you are not alone" feeling. Things "they" don't tell us.
For a funny story go to NYC Taught Me…hilarious story Sharon's husband shares, you know, if you're into TMI and bathroom humor.
I hope tomorrow is a better day followed by many more better days! ~Shannon
Yes! It's here: http://joannagoddard.blogspot.co.at/2012/02/motherhood-depression-and-weaning.html
thank you! i remember that post (and having no idea that depression around end of nursing was a thing!!)
It's so good that you're writing through this. I suppose it's fair for the body to recalibrate as the oxytocin ebbs away, but still so hard when it's been your normal for so long. It's not as if you can easily check out with a cup of tea for a day or two either. I like that when the good moments happen, you're still saying "this is good." That's gotta be the way to establish a new normal again.
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