lindsey turned 11 last week and… i’ve got to admit, it’s pretty hard to believe. she’s just so young lady now and so much less little girl. i married steve when this one was in nighttime diapers. and now??? i paint her nails and we sing katy perry songs – really, really loud – when i go to drop her at her friends’ houses (usually hot ‘n cold – and then i sing nonsense really loud over the one cuss word in the song. she always expects it, and laughs at me.). it seems sudden, as it always does, and there’s never a time like a birthday to, well, gush about a person a little bit.
lindsey. let me start by saying she is really fun and funny. i told her, as we sat around eating apple blossoms (from trader joes! her choice!) and vanilla ice cream on her actual b-day, that i both love and like her. i emphasized the like part to her because, i don’t know, i have a feeling that not all moms are totally diggin’ this age? she knows i love her but does she know i really like her? that i enjoy being around her? this age can be so full of drama and, you know, angst and while she definitely has some of that she also has this incredible confidence. she walks to the beat of her own drum and often that can imply loner but that’s not what i mean here. i’m pretty sure, in just observing her with her friends (a little healthy eavesdropping is a must from time to time), that she is a truly nice girl. she seems above a lot of the nonsense that a lot of girls her age are into. i like that so much about her. she’s kind to her brothers (who, i might add, are not always so kind to her) and she’s just got this older maturity about her. but she can be totally spunky and weird too and thinks i’m the weirdest ever OMG but says it with a smile so i think she secretly/not so secretly likes that about me. (“you are the weirdest mom ever!” she says and i say, “lindsey, your friends’ moms are not their weird self when you are at their house so you don’t really know if i’m the weirdest ever!” i point out every time. we go round and round in this debate. and then, back to our – joint – weirdness.)
when i married steve, she was a total daddy’s girl. i think having gone over a year without a mom in the house and being both the youngest and only girl in a house full of boys, she was a little bit of a queen bee. i remember being a bit intimidated by their relationship. i do believe i caught her side-eyeing me from time to time as a four-year old when steve and i would go in for a kiss. i worried what our relationship would look like as she got older. if she’d always be daddy’s girl and was there a spot for me? and while, i don’t want to take anything away from steve as a dad (cause, let’s be honest, there’s some things he’s just better at. namely, in the middle of the night. though, not limited to that!), recently we were sitting around the dinner table and she and william were bantering back and fourth about us as parents. she said, and i’m paraphrasing because i can’t quite remember her exact words, but something like, “mom’s the one i want to talk to about like friends and stuff.” just the night before, i had been walking past her room as she was falling asleep. she called me in and told me about some friend issues – you know, mean girl stuff – that she was having in school. we talked it over, she felt better about it, and i sent her to bed with a hug and kiss. and she likes having me be the one to do that stuff with. i’m sure all moms would be happy about this, but it is perhaps even more significant to me as a stepmom. it makes me feel more like mom, less like stepmom, and i love when those moments present themselves. i so have a place with her now and i’m really glad. she needed a woman in her life to talk about girl stuff and that’s me.
happiest of birthdays to the sweetest of young ladies. we love you, lindsey.
{pictures from her party last night. she had her two closest girlfriends sleepover and i bought a bunch of silly prop things for them to take pictures with – girl heaven. then i had the pictures developed and they’ll take them home with them. also, the ruffled streamers tutorial here if anyone’s interested. and i am a dud when it comes to sewing (like third time i’ve ever touched a machine) but this was EASY.}
{and her tenth birthday! which does not feel like a whole year ago!}
{and her ninth birthday! which does not feel like a whole two years ago!}
A very happy birthday to Lindsey!
I read your post and read it out again to my husband. Loved it, it's so beautiful.
Happy Birthday! The way you write about her is beautiful <3 She is blessed to have you in her life.
she is so so lucky to have you as a mom. I would LOVE having you as a mom or stepmom. she really is the luckiest.
She is lucky to have you. What a sweet, sweet post, I love your candor and honesty. Happy Birthday Lindsey!
i love this. {her & i share the same birthday! :)}
i love the way you write about your relationship with her. and i love that you've clearly put in the work, ya know? had your insecurities, and worked through them. didn't just expect everything to fall into place. family relationships take work too. it's easy to forget that.
Lindsey will love reading this when she is older. A lovely post
Happy happy birthday to the most beautiful little girl! I can't believe she's 11!
Lindsey sounds like a real gem. Happy birthday to a sweet girl who's not such a little girl anymore! You must be doing something right, too, to have created such a close and positive relationship with her.
I'm going to refer a friend who might become step-mom (if all goes well) to your blog. There is so much love here, and so many good lessons about step parenting.
You are such a sweet and loving mom. This brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy you and Lindsey have such a good relationship.
This post is the sweetest of the sweet! Happy Birthday Lindsey 🙂 I hope that she gets the chance to read this again as an adult, because I have a feeling she will really cherish it!
Jess
http://www.somesnapshots.com
Happy Birthday Girlie 🙂 She looks so grown up 🙂
Have a wonderful Easter and BIrthday Weekend!!!!
xoxo
What a cool girl. I like that you told her how much you "like" here and not just "love.". My Mom did that too and it definitely struck me when she would make that point. Other times, she would say "I'm talking to you as a friend now, not a Mom"…I thought it was cool. 🙂
It sounds like you are doing a great job. I'm sure it's been hard to navigate at times, but it's obvious even from your blog that Lindsey admires you and confides in you. Happy birthday to her, and happy Easter to all of you!
xo,
kristyn
oh this post.
looking at lindsey's sweet face and reading those words – i'm done.
i know i don't even need to type this out because you already know…
life: fleeting, fragile, beautiful. {cue goosebumps and tears!}
she's such a lucky girl to have such a wonderful mama… you can tell she feels loved just by looking at her. and then she's so cool on top of it? the total package, that girl.
xx
What a sweet post. Lindsey is so lucky to have you!
This gets me all lumped up in my throat. I love this. I love that you can fit right in and she knows you as mom. You are such an important role in her life and she's lucky to have you, as you are her. What a special spot you can fill in her heart. I understand no one can take the place of her mom, but you fill that role beautifully, all the while recognizing her mom through the process. Love that. You're a keeper Bridge!
that's so awesome that she can talk to you about things like that. you're doing a great job girl! happy birthday lindsay!
I LOVE that you own that she too needs you for certain things.
I love y'alls relationship and the honesty of it.
happy belated birthday lindsey! sounds like you both do each other proud x
Happy belated birthday, Lindsey! Love the pics!