She’s been growing up, a slow process, at times more jarring than others. And lately, it feels jarring. It’s moving fast, too fast. Slow down! She recently pulled a book off her bookshelf–something from the American Girl Club series–and it had everything from hair care, to shaving, to periods. “When will I get my period?” she asks as we’re driving along. The questions don’t stop there. “Mom, can I start shaving?” I assure her, she’ll have the rest of her life to be doing these things. And they quickly lose their luster (if they had any to begin with). Still, the allure of wearing a bra and lipstick is no match for my assurance that the time will come so be patient.
I bought her Taylor Swift’s newest CD the other day. She’s a huge Taylor fan, and I knew she’d love it. She ripped it open as soon as I gave it to her, and spent the greater part of the evening listening to it in front of the stereo, CD jacket open, following the lyrics the whole time. Once she got a better hang of the lyrics, then started the attitude. Especially for “We are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” She has the words down, the head movements, the sway, the attitude. It’s almost angsty. She writes songs and stories too, and they often center themselves around a lovelorn girl. She’s in fifth grade, desperate to be a grown up, and all full of that inner I’m-not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman (Britney came through!). I remember it a little bit. And, truth be told, I’d love to go back to that young innocence for a little while. But, how do you communicate that to her?
So for now, I just tell her: I understand, but slow down. The time will come.
You're sooo right!she doesn't know how lucky she is!growing is beautiful,but it's complex and sometimes hard…she's lucky to have you!
Have a good day!
What a beautiful post. I'm so glad my daughter is only one 🙂 I don't know what I'll do when she gets to that point ha. I was just thinking how grateful Lindsey's biological mom (Steve's first wife…. sorry I can't remember her name off the top of my head) must be to have you there with Lindsey. I'm sure there's no one she'd rather have step up to the role of raising her teenage daughter. And how grateful Steve must be to not be raising a teenage daughter alone. You're awesome Bridget. Thanks for your shining example!
This post is lovely, and my full-time bonus mama heart feels for you! Our little is 5.5 going on 25 and I am constantly telling her to slow down on the make-up and "teenager" clothes and wondering when she can have a boyfriend. You are such a good mom, though, and I'm sure Lindsey will (continue to) develop into a wonderful young lady!
you can just tell she is the sweetest!
I remember that book! It was one of my favorites since I hit puberty so early (wasn't even 10!) I remember that being a catalyst of my childhood – I was 'grown up' before anyone else and it made me feel so weird. Like I had lost a part of myself. She is lucky she still has so much childhood left! You're doing so well with her and I can't wait to see how she does turn out when she is finally a teenager!
Oh, Lindsey. Growing up ain't so fun. Slow it down sistah. Because I'd give anything to go back to the days where I didn't need to worry about all this ridiculous grown up stuff, including shaving my legs.
Who are we kidding? I'm too lazy to shave my legs 75% of the time.
I love how well you relate to her. I know she will see that in time and appreciate it more than you realize.
I loved that book, too! I basically had it memorized while I waited for things like shaving and the need for bras and my period (can't believe I ever WANTED a period…).
Great post!
i remember that time and i didn't listen to those older and wiser either, i just wanted to be older.
Oh man, I even felt this way about my high school students. They were so excited for sex and birth control and marriage and dating (in any order!) and I just wanted to tell them to enjoy this time!! Every step towards adult hood makes life more complicated, enjoy the simplicity.
At least you are willing to TALK to her about these things. The more open you are from the beginning the more comfortable she will be trusting your advice! I think I was in the 10th grade and studying biology one night when my mom asked me if I knew about "that stuff". uhhh…yeah. I'm 15 mom. a little late on the birds and bees convo? SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
Oh, I was that same way! I begged and pleaded for my mom to let me shave and wear a bra. The first time I shaved, I spent the whole next day at school rubbing my hands over my legs b/c I was amazed at the smoothness, and finding ways to casually bring it up in conversation with friends as if it was something I had always been doing. I was that way about everything. Idk why I so desperately wanted to grow up. Periods and shaving and bras…? Some of my least favorite things! ha!
this was so sweet! 🙂 i remeber that time of life, so fun, so awkward….. haa
Sweet post – I'd be interested in seeing more posts about what you do and don't allow as she makes more "teenage" requests (no need to get super personal). My mom wouldn't let me wear lipstick until high school, but it was really special when she'd let me pick a tinted lip balm or a nice toe nail polish (instead of shaving). I hate shaving now (and wish I never started)!
"kids" right before becoming teenagers are soo cute in a sort of way…
Thats so awesome. And I have so many vivid memories of ripping open a brand new CD and spending days listening to it on repeat while studying the CD jacket. You are a good mom.
If she has dark leg hair, let her shave…I have distinct memories of not being able to at that age and a (horrible) girl making fun of me. Even though we both ended up in the same social circle in NYC (a million) years later, I still totally hold a secret grudge!
@rachel upshaw, the mean girls! we never really forget them do we?! she doesn't have dark leg hair — thankfully!
(i don't blame you for holding the secret grudge still!)
oh that sweet lindsey. I distinctly remember this age for me too… especially the whole new cd, reading every lyrics //britney not a girl not get a woman // angst bit. and lindsey, listen to your momma, and slow the heck down.
ugh. i HATED 5th grade. same things – couldn't shave, couldn't wear makeup, didn't need a bra but wanted one. PURE MISERY ; ) good luck with that!
you're such a good mom getting gifts like cds just because…
my mom always told us not to grow up too fast and she was right but of course i rolled my eyes everytime she said that when i was 13