I was talking a little while back about writing a serious post on faith and at least one of you (or only one of you) said they wouldn’t mind reading it (I also realize a post without pictures is one that the majority of you will skip entirely. That’s ok. I do it too.). This was a good three months ago probably. As you might’ve noticed, serious posts are few and far between here at Tales of Me & the Husband. Not because I don’t think serious thoughts. Nail polish, puppy dogs, and butterflies are not all that’s on my mind. Just most of the time. Truth be told, I am not a terribly serious person–those who know me can probably attest to that. But, I can be, when the time calls for it, and the time calls!
So, here goes nothing. My first real post on faith. It’s not going to be too long and I have compartmentalized my thoughts because if I took you on my whole journey then Blogger might run out of memory and my blog would be kicked off the network. Can that happen?
As I was saying, here goes nothing. I would say faith doesn’t come very easy to me. I would say that it used to. But I think that’s mostly because I wasn’t asking hard questions and was more content being naieve. My goal here is not to rock your faith whatsoever. Wherever you are, be there. If you feel what I’m saying though, then ask the questions yourself. So, my question is really this: how can God be all-powerful and all-loving? I am not the person who can read the news headlines and turn around and chat about the weather. I mean, I would say I do that sometimes, but mostly out of necessity because otherwise every single day would be depressing. Right? If you really let your heart be heavy with every single death, earthquake, or bombing, your day would halt entirely. I don’t understand these things. Now, I know I’m not supposed to. God is in control. Yada yada yada. I am sick of those answers. If God is all-powerful, why do these things happen? Does he see the plate tectonics shifting and the tides rising and choose not to do something about it? If that’s true, then how is he all-loving? On the other hand, if he sees the shifting and the rising and can’t do anything about it, though he wants to, then how is he all-powerful? An all-powerful and all-loving God just does not make sense to me. This doesn’t mean I still don’t hope and pray for a future that God will bless. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love Jesus his son, and think about his sacrifice. It also doesn’t mean that I think I have the answers. I will be the first to admit, I do not have the answers. I am glad I am not in charge. I am glad He is and that, despite my doubts and questions, He’s still there. I remember my favorite professor (my husband!) telling the class once, “He’s a big God. And He’s not afraid of our questions.” I rest in that.
These days I consider Him to be an all-loving God. And perhaps not an all-powerful one. Or perhaps one that chooses not to be all-powerful (which still raises an issue for me… if he’s choosing not to be all-powerful). But, if perhaps that was his choice before time barely began, to let the world run its course and sit back and love us despite ourselves, and mourn with us when we mourn, I can understand that a little better. Deciding on a dime that now’s the time to jump in might seem like his plan wasn’t a well-thought out one. It’s the whole answered and unanswered prayers thing that gets me. “God healed my Mom from cancer!” What about the Mom who wasn’t healed? Were their prayers not fervent and desperate enough? Or how about an initial surgery to remove a tumor failing… but the second one works. “God answered that prayer.” Why didn’t he just make the first surgery work? Here’s one of my favorite examples. I am in a small group Bible study and I remember hearing the story of a woman in Africa being raped. She was ostracized and kicked out of her village because of this. Simultaneously, elsewhere, a missionary was raped. The two were devastated by what had happened to them and couldn’t understand why God would let it happen. Then they found each other. They found comfort in each other and became close friends all because of the tragedy they’d both experienced. God did have a plan. At least that’s how it was told at a missionary conference. But, I’m wondering, why couldn’t we just have avoided both rapes in the first place? To boil it down, reduce the entire argument to them finding each other to be the simple answer to this unthinkable act drives me insane. How about God have protected both of the women in the first place and avoided both rapes? I think Christians get into really murky waters when trying to figure these things out and I should just let it alone. But to be honest, I’m sick of not asking the questions. I know that a lot of people who have loved and lost have been seriously burned by the Christians when, upon losing their loved ones, are supposed to take solace in the words, “All things work for the good.” I think we are better to listen, love, and be a shoulder to cry on. So, here I go, on another tangent, and I said this wouldn’t be long (woops!) but it’s the all-loving and all-powerful thing that gets me these days. I don’t know what to make of it.
I’ll keep trying. Or maybe I’ll stop trying at some point and just conclude that I won’t have the answers in this lifetime. That I am limited and He is not and to just let Him do his job. But, it’s hard. Right?
You just expressed the exact conversation I have with myself on a regular basis!
Dearest Bridget,
It goes without saying that bad things happen to good people. And to popular opinion people ask: "How can anybody believe in God in light of all of the suffering that we see and experience in this world?"
But take heart in the idea that suffering is intrinsically related to the fallen-ness of this world. As soon as Eve took the fruit from the tree and gave it to Adam, we were destined to have sin in our lives and our entire world (thats the bad stuff). God gave us free will.
The fact is, if there were no sin in the world, there would be no suffering. God allows suffering as part of his judgment, but he also uses it for our redemption—to shape our character and build up our faith.
Hope this helps! 🙂
"I think Christians get into really murky waters when trying to figure these things out and I should just let it alone. But to be honest, I'm sick of not asking the questions." YES, keep asking the questions! Don't "just let it alone." I haven't believed in god since I was a teenager (raised Catholic, yada yada), and probably the thing that bothers me the most is that so many people just blindly believe whatever is told to them and never question. If your faith is strong, it will withstand—and even grow from—these kinds of questions. When people are afraid not to ask them, it says more about their own self-denial than it does about god. Everyone, theist or atheist, needs to be somewhat agnostic.
Wish I knew more religious people who were like you!
Oops, should be "afraid to ask them" with no "not" in there!
I don't really think that these things happening mean that God isn't all powerful and all loving.
I think that the world is full of sinners. And God gives each and every one of us free will. So, if there are going to be people in this world that screw up, then there will be consequences, and there will be people that have to deal with these consequences when they're just innocent bystanders. As far as natural disasters and cancers and such, I just don't know.
I recently got into the book of Job. I mean, his life sucked, basically. LOL. He was a righteous man, and everything for him went downhill.
I got into the very last few chapters. Oh geez…the examples that God gives made it hard for me to question if he was all powerful or not! He controls everything, and he has it under control.
You know, I think that when it comes to our prayer, us praying and our prayers getting answered and another one or somebody else's doesn't get answered doesn't necessarily mean that one prayer was better than the other. I heard it said one time that God knows what we need…he just wants us to ask for it. He knew we needed forgiveness, but it's not ours just by default…he wants us to confess our sins and ask for it. He also wants us to express our wants and desires to Him. That doesn't mean that we will get them…but he wants us to have a relationship with Him, and share our hurts and our pains and our heart with him.
I don't think that people go through things for no reason, or they pray and it's not answered because it wasn't good enough. As you said, everything does truly work for our good, but yeah, it's hard to see how. I think that's where faith comes in then. You just have to trust.
I think that it is human nature to want to know how things work. That's why there's science…medicine, space exploration, etc. But, we're sinners…if we knew everthing, then we would know how to fix ourselves! But we don't. So God sent Jesus. I don't think we'll ever know everything. But I think that God does want us to talk to Him about it.
Thanks for the serious post! I don't think you're alone in struggling with this! I think that it is so common for people to become Christians, and think that they should never have doubts, never worry, etc. That's bullcrap! God knows we're for real, because he's a for real God. He knows we'll doubt and wonder, and want to know why. To pretend like he doesn't know that is craziness, because he's all knowing as well!
I was just about to write a less eloquently put version of what Alisha wrote in her comment. So I'm glad she got to it first. 🙂
Love your thoughts Bridget.
@Eliz- i really appreciate your comment because, yes! I think Christians do themselves a disservice, at least in the eyes of the rest of the world, when not asking these questions that are so blatant to those who aren't CHristians.
@jennyG- it's probably the NATURAL disasters and cancer/disease/starvation that i have the hardest time with…. so what do we do with those?!
I would write more but Im on my phone. However, we are in the same place. Ive been strugging with trying to believe since my teens. Ive written some small thoughts on this and the book Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris has all the questions in one book.
If God supposidly gives free will now & thats why the world is suffering, then that must mean there is no free will in heaven, right?
this
was
real.
this was awesome.
just plain awesome.
Hi thanks for visiting my blog!
I was so interested to read this post, the same questions tumble about in my mind and heart, and I find answers hard to find as well. Perhaps if I spent more time really searching I would see it clearer, but questioning whilst hanging on to the reality of your experience of God is a defination of faith in my books.
I know my brain is very small to understand the ways of God, which is a relief in some ways because if God was completely understandable to my brain he would be too insignificant to worship), but I wonder if the answer to these very difficult questions is to do with us walking away from perfection and God allowing that freewill and us having to live with the consequences?? Keep searching and let me know if you get any further!
Wow Bridget, all I can think of is how terrified I would be to write this kind of thing to hundreds of people I don't "know" in the personal, physical sense.
Especially leaving the comment section open and opening yourself up to not only critics but also easy-answer Christians. Too vulnerable for me.
Way to go, girl, my admiration for this blog and it's author has just increased exponentially. Thank you.
And, by the way, I'm right there with you. And that's about all the unhelpful comment I can leave about that.
i loved this post! even without pictures! haha.
it is so refreshing to hear christians ask questions. to think. because my whole life I was taught not to. just except without question.
unfortunately I asked too many, and without wanting/trying to lost my faith. or at least my faith as i knew it.
so i guess the best way i sum up my statement of faith is simply I DON'T KNOW'.and it is simply refreshing. and love. give love, show love, be love, treat others with love. like mother teresa said, 'you can do no great thing, only smalls things with great love'.
🙂
Honestly, this crosses my mind often. I ask these questions all. the. time. I really like this quote:
"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He can do something about it, but I'm afraid he might ask me the same thing."
Obviously it doesn't answer anything, but I still like it. Thanks for the post, Bridget. 🙂
thanks for this. i am totally grappling with questions like these all the time. do you watch glee? this is super cheesy but there was an episode this season about God and how there are many different Gods and how some just don't believe in one. i think everyone should have the right to believe or not believe in a God and any other sort of beliefs other people have should not be forced upon those people around them.
God, religion, faith… all those things are sooo difficult for me to discuss and to feel at complete peace with.
i don't want to make someone feel uncomfortable about my religion or someone else's lack of religion.
so really what i wanted to say was thank you. this is a great post. and i'm comforted to know that someone else thinks about these things too…
Oh Bridget, this was a great serious post. I struggle with those same thoughts so frequently. I don't get it. I am a Christian and I believe and I have faith…. but.
My mom died when I was 16 after a long battle with MS. She couldn't have been a better Christian, prayed everyday, was the most positive person I've ever known, had a zillion people praying for her…. So. Why her? In general, I believe 'all things happen for a reason'… but I can't understand disease, disaster, etc. either.
My dad has since remarried and is happy, but still misses my mom on a daily basis. I can't even begin to understand the "why's" of this one. I know you can relate to that. Why did a man have to go through such pain and anguish? Was it to lead him to his new wife that brings him joy? Endless questions here.
Like you, I need to stop thinking about it and let Him do it. I don't get it, and I never will. Thanks for your post.
Better Than a Milk Mustache
I blame Adam and Eve for the broken world in which we live.
I have been where you are. And either you will keep seeking or you won't. But I TOTALLY recommend to stay with it. Because WOW, God is Good. And he only want to show you that love and goodness.
Hey Bridget,
I have been thinking about this question a lot also lately, especially after listening to the Erhman/D'Souza debate (which was far more an intellectual debate based on logical arguments than a personally beneficial one). And I too blogged about it a couple weeks ago–http://thecastingdock.com/the-problem-of-pain/ (that is REALLY not intended to be a shameless, "hey, here's a link to my blog" plug, but I literally was JUST talking about this exact question.)
I am reading CS Lewis' The Problem of Pain right now which tackles that precise question. It's good thus far…you might be interested in it…
Keep asking the tough questions…it does the name of Christianity good…
Lisa
this is one of the first posts without pictures i've actually read the whole way through…and i have to completely agree with eliz up there. and i think what i agree most with is your statement:
"But, if perhaps that was his choice before time barely began, to let the world run its course and sit back and love us despite ourselves, and mourn with us when we mourn, I can understand that a little better."
thank you for writing this. as an agnostic deist, it's comforting to know that christians struggle with the same questions i do on a regular basis. your faith AND questions are both inspiring.
Let me tell you, working as a journalist for the past 4 years has really made me question my faith for the exact reasons you list here. When I first started, I considered myself Catholic and followed the word of God and believed that all would be well in the world because He is all-loving and all-powerful. But then I really got into the crux of writing and worked more on breaking news and wrote stories about people being arrested and charged for rape, murder and other horrendous things that I couldn't imagine Him wishing upon anyone. It rocked my faith, but not my desire to continue in the field.
And while I have continued to question my faith in the years since, I don't think it so much has to do with the idea of Him being all-loving. I think, for me, it has more to do with finding a peace within myself to continue leading a good, fulfilling and serving life.
I think having to work for your faith gives a greater satisfaction at the end of the day. The questioning of how things work, and why they happen the way they do strengthens what we believe in and, most importantly, why we believe in it.
I guess I'm just still working on that part 🙂
ps.I view the natural disaster side of it as a direct result of sin also–man severed not only his perfect union with God and with other humans, but with the physically created world as well. Not only were we then destined to have to "toil" the land, but the earth itself yearns and moans for God's perfect restoration.
That doesn't make the fact that hundreds of thousands of people die in crazy natural disasters any easier to understand or reconcile…but it's at least maybe a portion of a theological framework…maybe??
I'm not religious, don't practice a religion, not even sure of my feelings about one specific "God." But that's me, and what I feel or don't feel is my life, and that's all there is to it. I don't allow people to preach to me, and if someone says they'll pray for me, I kindly smile and let it be.
With that said, I TRULY appreciate this view of yours. Because I feel the same, only my question begins with "IF there is a God, why do these things happen?"
I don't believe God heals cancer just because someone prayed about it, but I do think positive thinking on all parties involved helps. If their positive thinking involves prayer, so be it, but don't get so naive to think God answers these prayers, because, like you said, if he is the all-powerful being, cancer would not exist. And if he has decided it's a trial we need to experience, then he thinks we have something to learn, and to me, putting someone through cancer is punishment, which then means he is not all-loving and at that point, prayers are useless wishes. Because yes, I believe prayers are somewhat grown-up wishes…maybe I should shutup now. Before I get into trouble.
Basically, I tend to agree with you…only difference is that I tend to doubt the existence of this GOD so many people worship.
And if he does exist, joke's on me, but I live my life day-to-day, looking for joy there, not in some supposed being who supposedly has a plan for my life. No, I live my life. Maybe higher powers guide me, but I live my life. I don't know what happens when people die, but I'll find out when I get there. It wastes precious time while living, worrying about the afterlife.
Well said Bridget! I appreciate your honesty.
And to quote Alexandria, because I think she sums it up perfectly:
"I think, for me, it has more to do with finding a peace within myself to continue leading a good, fulfilling and serving life."
I really enjoyed reading this and truly see where you're coming from. I won't go into my own in- depth analysis, but I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one out there who struggles with this!
BTW, after reading your amazing love story and being married myself at 20 also and now having 4 kids, I'm just going to have to follow your lovely blog, Bridget!x
Bridget, I think asking questions and seeking answers is what brings a greater relationship with God! My relationship with God is the most precious thing in my life. But it isn't always easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is.
My grandmother died recently after a long battle with Alzheimer's. It was awful to watch her lose her identity. It was awful to watch my grandpa care for his beloved wife that was slipping away. His faith, though, was unshaken (that is amazing to me). He said to me that the refining fire of that pain has brought him closer to and more like God than he ever would have been otherwise. He knows also my grandmother has been blessed tremendously for enduring those ten years.
But why didn't God take away that suffering and still give my grandpa the purity of soul he gained? I think it is because the act of suffering is what refines us. I believe the entire reason we have come to earth is to one, be joyful, and two, struggle and work and refine ourselves so that we may live in heaven as gods ourselves, the ultimate joy. Our suffering turns us to God so that we can feel His love with softer, open hearts. Adam and Eve opened the door for us to enter earth and experience darkness. Jesus Christ opened the door for us to turn to God in darkness and find light, to have our sufferings eased, our losses made up, to return to our Father after we have repented and purified ourselves through fire.
I hope I'm not sounding glib, like I'm just repeating what I've been told. I certainly struggle with faith and questions of why. But I have found peace in these answers. I know without any doubt in my mind that God loves each and every one of us and wants what is best for us. We are His children and He is our Father and knows what is best for us. I like to compare it to having young children. As we protect them in ways that may make them unhappy for a short time, so our Heavenly Father sometimes does things for us that we don't understand yet. But I know He does this out of love and out of an infinite wisdom.
Sometimes we must suffer as we follow our Savior, who suffered above us all. He always knows our pain and will lift us up in all situations if we turn to Him. Sometimes suffering is caused by our own sins, and sometimes it is caused by other people, even when we have been righteous. God will not take away another's agency, even if it causes pain for the righteous because He loves us all too much to take away anyone's agency. And sometimes suffering comes from seemingly random, unfair events. In all these situations, God is there and is showing us a way to grow and become more like Him. The mercy and love of God always more than compensates for any suffering, in this life or the next.
There are no easy answers to this, but I have felt peace from this article by Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (also known as Mormons, and the church that I belong to). He gives some beautiful insights into God's plan for each of us, even in suffering and trial.
http://bit.ly/dB9sgA
Holy cow, sorry for this novel. It's just that I know what it is like to feel lost and confused and I also know what it is like to have my questions soothed. I know the peace of finding truth and I wanted to share it with you, in hopes that it helps.
You can email me if you want: paintingtheair@gmail.com
Good luck in your search, Bridget!
good stuff my friend. i would say that alisha seems to be right on. you have to take into account that we live in a sinful world and are sinful people. this doesn't mean that god is not all powerful and all loving. it just means that sin is very real. and i can't stand the phrase "all things work for the good." it's simply not true. but all things do work for god's glorification. i see that so evidently in your/steve's story/lives. questions are good.
@emily, i love your comment- and i am so with you- i know there's one God that i personally believe in but who am i to tell someone else that mine is the only way? glad i am not in charge… i said it once and i will say it again!
@stephanie, i love the perspective from an agonstic deist–in some ways i think we all are deists in a sense. we don't KNOW. we feel. that's why it's faith!
@alexandria, looove your finding peace from within bit. amen!
@lisa– sin being the cause behind natural disaster just does not satisfy me one bit! but, i don't know what the answer is, so what gives?! im going to check out your post though!
@angela- exactly! i can only imagine the questions that have cropped up in your life as a result of losing your mom who sounds like an amazing woman. and sure, there is redemption, your dad being remarried, but i'm sure lots of christians wanted to chalk it up to "oh see! god did have a plan!" when you were wondering, "why couldn't my mom have just stayed on this earth?" maybe you weren't wondering that, but i think i wouldve been!
@emz- thanks girl. love your shout out 🙂
thanks to evvvvveryone for your comments. seriously. if i haven't responded it's not because i didn't appreciate it! it's just cause the kids are on their way in t he door!!!
I would say that bad things happen in this world because there is real evil in this world. Heaven is where we will get to experience a place that is entirely pure and good.
Also, prayer is a funny thing. I think too often people pray for a thing…I believe that it is of true benefit to pray for strength, or understanding, or patience to deal with a situation. Life happens and no it isn't all roses and lollipops, but we as humans have a great opportunity to do the best we can with the limited time on Earth that we've got. I've known kids that have done more and impacted more people's lives than some 70 year-olds. God is all knowing, which means he knows what tomorrow will bring. Hopefully the most of us are doing to best we can, which means failing and falling and trying to make it better next time. It is important to keep asking questions, but there are certainly questions that will remain unanswered until we are in heaven.
That was a big ramble, but hopefully some of it made sense. 🙂
Also, those are just my opinions everyone is entitled to their own. 🙂
Much love to ya!
thank you for posting this. i love it. i would love to read more things like this from you in the future. …..figured maybe you'd appreciate a shorter comment in the midst of reading everyone else's deep thoughts. 🙂
Some people believe God is out there/up there (what have you) controlling human beings like we are marionettes. I do not believe this, further I really can't find myself believing in a God that would do that. God could not possibly be all-loving if God were controlling humans in such a way, look at how unloving we are. I DO believe it is in God's heart that we not be this way–God created Adam and Eve as perfect (and perfectly loving) people but God did not force them to choose NOT to eat from the tree, the choice was up to them.
It has taken me (and still is taking me) so long to really start to understand who God is and isn't. I grew up going to a pretty conservative Christian school so everything I was taught was very legalistic and I feel as though I have this Catholic guilt-laden conscience that I struggle with day-in and day-out. I'm working on shedding these things.
One thing that is good to remember is that there are opposing forces. Whether a person believes in God and the Devil or not–there is good and bad. People do good things, people do bad things and we all typically act out of our woundedness or our health.
I don't know if you like to read, but if you do, these are a few of the books that have shed a lot of light (for me, personally) on the issue of God and evil in the world: The Shack, The Four Agreements, Blue Like Jazz, Searching for God Knows What and Velvet Elvis.
I really appreciate your willingness to be honest about this.
@esther- hi! thanks for the comment and i do love to read- i have read blue like jazz and searching for god knows what…. the shack wasn't for me (i tried!) but yeah, there are some great ones out there. right now im reading brian mclaren's 'a new kind of christianity' and i know c.s. lewis has written some amazing things on the problem of evil. yes, i used to have that guilt conscience (i grw up catholic as well!) but have MOSTLY shed it 🙂 good luck.
Haha. My husband really didn't like The Shack either. It was just huge for me in terms of judgment. Something 'Christians' are so apt to do, something I struggled with and needed to be challenged about.
I'm going to look in to Brian McLaren's book.
I have the same questions. That's what always gets me!
i sometime wallow and struggle sooo hard with questions like these. the ever present "why do babies get cancer and die?" and "how come it feels like the bad guys win so often?" yeah, I'm also resting on: God is a big God. That He knows all and then some. it's comforting and frustrating all in one. excellent post. certainly got me thinking this fine afternoon. thanks girl!
Yours Mine and Ours
bridget. hi. i liked this.
(i mean, i like ALL of this…but i really liked this.)
and i have a whole lot to say about it.
but i wont. i mean, maybe someday? when the boyfriend (husband) and i move to boston and we're close enough to grab a treat?
okay, maybe.
anyway. i FEEL you girlfriend. when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 years ago (in remission now!) i seriously thought "REALLY, God?!" you see, my sweet dad has never smoked. in his life. he is a runner as well. an all around candidate for healthy lungs and heart. it didn't seem right…i mean, any other cancer, sure. it happens. but this one was hard for me to swallow. they said he probably wouldn't last. that the cancer was powerful BUT that he was the perfect candidate for success (with lung cancer). anyway anyway all i'm saying is i've been there. BUT i also know that these things happened because there is a PLAN. i believe with my whole heart that before i came to earth i knew that life would be kinda crappy. but despite that, i wanted to be here SO bad. because the good times, well, they would be GOOD.
that said, having had my dad, my whole family, go through all that he (we) went through i have a hard time telling people of other faiths "it's fine" "there's a plan!" etcetcetc. i just find comfort in knowing that He knows their suffering and He will make is up to them ten fold, whether her or there.
He is all-loving.
He is all-powerful.
even in those moments when life sucks,
even when those tragedies happen.
He is there. loving us. that is really all we need, i think. this life is just a moment, really.
I think, first of all, that you are right…we will never completely understand god's plan and the nature of him. However, I do think that is where faith comes in. Believing that he is all powerful and all loving even when we don't understand why he does, or does not do, what he does. The bible does talk about how God allows certain things to happen so that we can see his love and grace. Sometimes it takes something terrible happening to make someone realize they need God. If I never felt lonely, or sad, or depressed at times then I would never feel like I need God. I know that hearing this is one thing, but it's alot harder to actually understand this concept… and I do question it too at times like you did. But, again that's where faith comes in.
It would have been really easy for God to swoop down and save Jesus on the cross, I am sure it was very hard for him to watch his son go through such pain. But he allowed it to happen so that other people would be saved. Not because he is not loving.
PS. I am really glad you posted on this. I question things all the time…you should as a Christian. There are so many scriptures in Proverbs about seeking knowledge and wisdom and looking for it as for hidden treasure. I think God wants us to search hard to understand him, even if we never fully will. I am praying for God to help me understand him as much as I should and then to have strong faith for the rest!
I read it, even without all the pretty pictures, and you know, it reminds me of the link you posted a long while ago–the mother whose daughter is born and knows immediately, in a room full of happy people, that her life is changed forever and her daughter is not whole. I still think about that story because of you, I struggle with it, and I guess I'm still thinking about these things now because of you. You do that–you make people think.
this makes me think of when i read Kierkegaard's "Fear & Trembling" in an undergrad philosophy class…
one of his thoughts that struck me the most was something along the lines of, faith is FAITH for the very reason that it doesn't make sense. if it made sense, then you would logically be able to give yourself reasons to believe, and then there would be no act of courage involved. he used the word "absurd" i think, to describe the things that we are asked to have faith in. and he made the argument that they HAVE to be absurd, or else it wouldn't be faith.
it would just be reason.
i wrestle with this a lot. but good ol' kierk has allowed me to rest in my inability to answer these questions for myself.
p.s. its short. i highly recommend it. fear and trembling. check it out.
i wish i could put into words how i'm feeling after reading this, but all i'm going to say is this: i completely understand your thought process and find myself there often. i ask these questions, too. and sometimes i feel utterly confused. and sometimes i realize that it's (thankfully) not in my hands, and i should just let it go. although that's hard.
i hear all too often the "all things work for good" speech and it makes me want to throw things, because to me it feels SO insincere. ugh. i feel ya on that. i really, really do. thanks for being honest and open with this. <3
this was fantastic lady….and I have loved reading all of the comments as well.
i grew up in a pastor's home, in church every time the doors were open, and always believed what I was told…..never searching for myself. that all changed about 7 years ago when i actually started reading the word in its completeness…..and my relationship to God has changed because of it…..questions are good….keep asking….and searching….
xo
Wow Bridget! Awesome post and even better responses from your followers. I struggle with these questions too- and many more. I think it's important to be real like you are and not blindly follow religion and never question anything.
I was raised non-denominational Christian and recently my pastor has been preaching about this in church. In short he said sometimes God presents challenges for us/works against us in order to work FOR us. Which at first I was annoyed and confused. But then I started thinking about some of the times in my life where I was really struggling and I was yelling at God (in my head, not out loud.. haha) WHY are you doing this to me? WHY are you not answering my prayers.. why are you breaking me down? I was so angry and hurt that these things were happening to me, but out of that hurt/pain/suffering some of the most beautiful things in my life came out of it. Sometimes I feel like you have to be in a broken place to see what God has in store for you. I guess it's because it's human nature to stay with what you have if it's "Okay" or even "good" and you might not have the courage to change/grow otherwise. Does this make sense?
On a natural disaster level… I don't know. I ask myself why did God allow innocent people to die on 9/11? Or why do car accidents happen? Why did my Grandpa get cancer? I'm not sure the answer to these big questions. I don't think anyone can answer these. It's important to have them though. Sometimes I think we need tragedy in order to open our eyes. Why can't God just reveal what needs to be done otherwise? I don't know. I think that's why such an important part (to me anyway) of religion is having FAITH. It's not just saying Jesus Christ is my savior, etc. etc. It's taking that leap of faith and trusting God … even when we don't understand.
Never stop asking questions! Love this post!
xo, Brittni
Oh, goodness. I have too much to say here, and I fear that this comment box will blow if I try to type it all out here. Prepare yourself for an email of epic proportions.
I was going to comment about all the things we know to be true about God’s love and power but, to be honest, we all know those things as I’m sure you do too and sometimes, I just ask these same questions too. thanks for this – made me think this morning when I was really just all about diving into some cheese danish! Love your honesty!
I love serious posts.
My husband and I talk/debate about religion a lot. Those conversations are often frustrating but I believe they are also necessary. My husband has a masters degree in philosophy, which makes them even more interesting. I have to say I had never thought about things this way about God being either powerful or loving. I guess I have a new argument for our next discussion 😉
The interesting thing is that this question runs rampant in wealthy countries like ours, while everyday more people choose to follow Jesus in the places where natural disasters and poverty really strike. It's a very hard subject, but I've heard (and think) Christianity is growing in those places because those people come to know the God who holds us all and they know He is coming back. They love knowing the One who intends on redeeming all of creation. I sure do, too 🙂
I am Christian, and I don't have the answers either. I like that you wrote this though. It's so honest and sometimes bloggers are less than honest I think. I do know that God exists, because so many things would be unexplainable if he didn't exist, but I don't know much more than that.
For some reason responding to this post makes me nervous, but I am going to respond anyway…I think the nervousness I feel is because I can totally relate and often times ask myself those questions over and over and over. Most of the times things don't make sense to me. But, I have seen evidence in my life that has allowed me to understand God just a little bit more than I did last year..or even last week…
I think God is all loving AND is all powerful. All loving because if what the Bible said is true, and he sent Christ to die for our sins, then that must be a super loving God. EVEN when I have experienced pain in my life…and continue to experience pain…God IS right there with me. I know that sounds super cliche, but its true. I suffer from OCD, which you can read about on my blog, and its a painful exhausting disorder that effects me every day of my life. Sometimes I ask God, "why would you allow me to experience this? Why don't you help me get over this?" And the truth is He has, and He will. He has in a sense that He allowed PAINFUL experiences in my life to happen in order for the disorder to be exposed. He provided an amazing husband who could be there for me (even though I grew up NEVER wanting to get married…and how great it was that God changed my heart and gave that to me!), as well as providing a safe place where I could share my struggles and get help and support. I mean, seriously, when God says, "My grace is sufficient for you", how true that statement really is. In the midst of all the pain, I have family, friends, nature, my health, all of those things to give me hope..to pick me up when I feel weak. I can't explain why I have gone through the things that I have…even with OCD out of the picture…but I DO know that God has seriously done some amazing things in my life at the same time. No, not super miraculous things, but if/when I take a step back I realize how great it is that I have this friend or that friend to rest on…or my experience can help someone else who is struggling. I've seriously seen that over and over throughout my life. And I know it will continue to happen. So with that, I will continue to believe that God is good…even though I seriously have questioned him over and over (but I believe that is natural?).
I believe that God is all powerful because I believe He created the universe. Even if people don't believe that and believe in evolution only (which, btw, I believe in evolution as well)…the universe had to start somewhere. And regardless of what you believe started that, whatever it is, is freaking POWERFUL. Our planet is huge, but the universe is even bigger, and whoever or whatever began that is even BIGGER. It's hard to even grasp that, but you know what? It's hard to grasp that Saturn exists. Or that a black hole exists. Yes, I know that science is evidence based, but seriously…has anyone ever seen a black hole? No…but we know it exists by the effects it has on what's around it. And that's how I view God. Can He stop an earthquake? Sure. Why doesn't He? I don't know…maybe He has to let things run its course…Is there pain and death? Yes, but everything eventually dies. Why are we not kicking and screaming about that (actually, sometimes I do!) But that's just life, right? And if you believe in God, then He promises life in Heaven with Him. And that's good, I'd say. If you don't believe that, and only believe in science, well then there's evolution and things evolve and die. Is that harsh? I don't know, but it's truth no matter what you believe. Anyway, I think it's good to ask questions and I believe God will reveal things to you…as He has done for me and I hope, will continue to do so.
Much love to you.
thanks kelly leigh, taylor, and kate… it's a hard issue. one that i don't think i will ever fully understand.
to address you guys more specifically…
@taylor – i really don't know enough specifically about the faith in other parts of the world to feel like i can sufficiently discuss them, but i do know that christianity is growing as you said. i know that when all else fails (as is often the case there… starvation, aids, malaria, tribal warfare), they turn to God. i do think we, sitting in our warm houses with food and plenty, are in a position where we are able to question more. as i think they would be if they didn't need that (forgive the cliche) "opiate for the masses" that God is for them. i'm not reducing God to that for them. i'm just suggesting that they really, really, really need him and there is a good chance that given an incredible hardship in my life, i might turn desperately towards him like that (and i have, in the past, it's just a journey as i said). but, my husband's losing his wife has certainly caused him to question. and maybe that pales in comparison to what's happening in certain places around the world, but… i don't know… food for thought! i better stop before blogger runs out of space 🙂 thanks.
@kellyleigh- amen girl!
@kate, thanks for your response! i hear what you're saying… and i am soooo glad that you have felt God in your life. i think at times i have too, but i don't know. i think things can get tricky when one suggests God lead them here or there or told them this or that, and i am NOT (i repeat NOT) implying that God can't do that or hasn't done that in your life. really. i think it's altogether possible, and not only that but probable, that he has. i just wish he made himself more clear (but of course that's why it's faith, right?!??).
thanks friends, all of you! i think this is such great discussion and i really do wish we were all chatting around a table with coffee in person. 🙂
blahhh i just responded to the last three (taylor, kelly leigh, and kate) and it was too large and therefore was deleted! but, basically, thank you all and i so appreciate the conversations (all via the web, sadly!) we are having and wish we were having them over coffee somewhere! such is life.
thanks 🙂
never mind – there it is!
Just for the record, I, too, get weird when people say "God said this to me" or "told me to do that". When people say that, I dont understand it fully…I get scared sometimes because I'm like…"I don't really hear a voice or know what is God and what is not" but for me, it's all seen in retrospect.
And just reading you and your husband's story sounds like God definitely allowed that to happen. And for good, yes?!
I just listened to a Timothy Keller podcast on iTunes (it's free) about "Does God Control Everything?" and I think you'd like it, Bridgette.
You. Are. Great.
I love the way you think and the way you express yourself. I'm with you in this and it makes my brain hurt. I like to think of Joseph's response to his naughty brothers when I think of personal pain in my life and in the lives of others, "What you, my brothers, intended for bad, God made good." Not always can I see the good. But, I have to use my brain in my seeking and I also refuse to accept the sick "christian" cliches without spitting.
Thank you for your honesty. I yearn for this type of discussion (especially in English).
This is a great subject and it's refreshing to see. I would say that the human existence is spent trying to figure out the meaning of life and our relationship with God. I often wonder if our purpose is simply to exist, not that it is a simple existence. We as humans are full of self importance that we feel there must be more to life than existing but what if it is as simple as that. Other species go about their day existing, doing their job that was intended to help themselves survive and contribute their part in the world. While I believe in God, I wonder what God is. Something created earth and all of it's species, our solar system, and the billions of galaxies out there. When I think of the billions of galaxies that exist it makes me question how much God could or would influence our everyday. Also, like you mentioned, why would God allow my husband at 38 to be diagnosed with cancer when he has a 2 and 3 year old to help me raise and make into amazing people, why would he allow our friends daughter at 4 years old (practically a baby) to be diagnosed with cancer, why would he allow over two hundred thousand people be wiped on the earth in one day from a tsunami? When I get sad or angry about the above, I think maybe we experience tragedy, happiness, death, heartache, because that is what our existence on earth is and for God to interfere would be disturbing the balance of things. I will say that I find faith in God that he allows me to live and experience my everyday with my husband, children, family and friends and I am grateful and fulfilled knowing that.
@taylorives – thanks for the rec! it is on my list!
@kristafro, you're right… we can't begin to know the inner workings of God's plan… and maybe it will all make sense when we get to that next place someday 🙂 and any time you are in the boston area, we should chat about this… definitely in english.
@sarah, my goodness girl, you've been through the ringer. there is something to the balance of things, that you mentioned. i do wonder if God lets things take their course (or, like i said, not so much lets them take their course as much as he has to because he can't interfere)… but it's a question i certainly don't have the answer to.
thanks for your comments, everyone! once again, coolest people, all of you.
I love your honesty. Sometimes I wonder if I just swallow things to do with faith to easy, cause I work at a school (a Christian one) and the students are constantly asking these questions, why does God let these things happen…and sometimes saying I don't know isn't enough…and maybe sometimes it's good if we don't cause we aren't God. and as a side note I went and saw Narnia the other day and there is a GREAT parallel to this…the little girl asks Lucy why Aslan just didn't let her mum be protected in the first place. I pray you'll continue to healthy struggle grapple and challenge these ideas and that God will give you peace about it too…have you ever read Velvet elvis by rob bell the first chapter is about questions…and is excellent!
Thanks again for your post x
@lauren, hi! i sometimes think saying i don't know is the perfect answer, really! i think one part of christianity that nonchristians can't stand about us is that we feel like we have or have to have an answer for every question. how can we?! you sound like you're a role model where oyu work though. and no i haven't read velvet elvis but i do love rob bell! i should check that out! and i think we're going to go see the new narnia after christmas! glad it was good 🙂
it's good to ask the questions. i used to ask all the same questions in my christian church, since I was 8 until i was 17. studied all different religions/faiths and then became a non-believer and have been happier ever since. none of it made sense and all the answers only seemed to work when it benefitted the one answering. but i have no ill feelings towards believers. believe what you believe and we'll all be happy in our own selves. : )
"Call to me and I will answer," says the Lord "and I will show you great and mighty things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 If you seek you will find. Call on Him babe, He's not afraid of your questions, confusion or doubts. If anything, Jesus knows how tough it's to be us.
ever since melissa died, my faith has been rocked in a positive way and a negative way. she showed me what it is like to have a genuinely deep relationship with God. but her death raised questions that haunt me to this day. why wasn't she healed? if prayer is so powerful, why didn't she get to live cancer-free? did we not pray hard enough? where is the good in this? thanks for posting your thoughts, bridget. it's good to know that i am not the only person who struggles with these questions. miss you, friend.
I can relate to this in SO many ways. My father was a preacher, and I was raised without the option of making up my own mind about god. When I was old enough to start questioning, I did, and I haven't stopped. I'm now 29 and ok with calling myself an athiest, because believing in the christian god is not logical, and it doesn't fit into my life. It took me SO long to be able to say that outloud, but I feel so much better having done so. I don't feel like I need to live in fear, and I don't feel like I'm giving in to a way of life "just in case".
You mention God being all-powerful and all-loving, but where is the mention of the fact that God is all-knowing? When it seems impossible to reconcile his actions as all-powerful AND all-loving it is most likely because we are looking at circumstances in our life through our own lens. God is all-knowing though, so when something appears to us to be an example of him not being powerful or not loving, I think it is that we are too limited in our knowledge and understanding to grasp why He is doing and allowing certain things in our life.
A real-life example of this came to mind this morning. My three year-old nephew had a meltdown because I would not let him go outside to play in the snow. To him it seemed so unfair and almost cruel to deny him what he wanted, but from my viewpoint I knew it would be harmful to him if I allowed him to go out into the frigid temperatures. All he saw was what he wanted, from his perspective. As a child, he did not have the knowledge of what a below-zero air temperature and wind chill combo could do to his little body. He couldn't understand it, but I could. It didn't mean that I didn't have the power (ability) to let him go outside, and it didn't mean that I didn't love him enough to let him go out there; it meant I was powerful enough and loving enough to deny him what he asked, because I knew it was best for him.
When in relationship with God, we are incapable of always understanding why he does and allows certain things, but our lack of knowledge does not make Him any less powerful or loving, it merely showcases how much we need Him as our guide. It can be a great struggle in life at times, but I am so thankful I have a God who is all-knowing and knows what is best for me.
Just wanted to throw a comment in the pot here regarding "plate tectonics shifting and the tides rising" etc: all of Creation is in a fallen state. Not just Mankind.
@cimijotti2 – you're right. but how does that answer my question? how does it help people understand God? how does it help us want to know him better?
Hey Bridget-
Why does God permit wickedness? The absolute BEST question ever. Especially in view of world conditions, why would a loving God permit these things to go on and on? Certainly if we were all powerful and loving, we would put an end to this mess!
Here's where I found the answers, hope it helps…http://www.watchtower.org/e/20070915/article_01.htm
ack! i am so behind on my blog reading – but was really happy that you went ahead with this post! my faith is definitely one of the things i struggle with, especially with all that has been going on this past month. 🙁 i have no answers right now, but i love the discussion you've got going.
As Kim said, I am extremely behind in my blog reading and to be honest, at the moment- a long comment is not in me at the moment. But I do want to say thank you for writing this, for being honest, for asking these questions, and generating this discussion. I am happy to be back to blog reading and to have a fresh start to 2011.
I don't think God is responsible for all the evil in this world. he can't be. It's not in His nature. But He works through everything and this is not our home. He has bigger plans. The Bible tells me that He loves us so much He has done everything to pursue us. Sickness was never part of His plan. Living here on earth is not eternal. God sent His Son to endure the most tragic of deaths. Couldn't it be better if He had never had created us in the first place? But He did. And it was good. But evil entered through sin. And God needed to redeem us by taking the limitation of a Savior to romance us to eternity. The end goal was never a "prosperous life in riches" here on earth. Or "healing forever", that's temporal. Or living forever, for that matter.
but i thank you for your honesty. I just pray that you find the relevant answers to the True Character of God. Romans 9:18-33
Hi Bridget!
My name is Christianne- first can I just say, I love your blog! My roommate just barely showed it to me and your love story and I think it's absolutely adorable and think your blog is so great! I think that part of being a faithful follower of Jesus Christ is is asking serious and difficult questions, otherwise how would we ever get the answers if we didn't ask the questions? I have gone through some really difficult things from a really young age (but then again who hasn't). I feel that we go through many trials which are difficult and we can stay faithful however, there are some that we go through that really push our buttons and cause us to ask "Where is my Father in Heaven?". I recently went through/am going through a very difficult trial and I was so curious- why when I have righteous desires and God knows it is what I want most, why do I not receive it? However, I read this talk: https://lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/trust-in-the-lord?lang=eng (I don't know how to do links in comments but if you copy and paste that into your browser you can read it), but it is given by an authority of my church, but I think it applies to all religions. I believe that God is all powerful and all loving. I believe that He can stop bad things if He wanted to, but He doesn't because He loves us. Just as a parent would subject their child to the pain of a shot (flu shots, etc.) because they love them, and they know the pain they could feel in that shot is far less than the pain (for them and the child) if they lost them down the road to a horrible sickness or disease. Since God wants us to be with him after we die, He will allow whatever trial necessary to happen to us so we can become a better person, but since He is all loving and we are His children, He would not have us suffer a moment longer than needed (unless of course we brought it upon ourselves with sin). Anyway, sorry for the gigantic comment- I'm not even sure if you read these this long after you posted but I somehow came across it and just had to share my opinion 🙂
First, I would recommend you read The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, simply because I believe what it discusses are important concepts to consider when trying to pin down who God is. Also, I think it may help in your attempt to ponder and reconcile an all-loving God with an all-powerful God.
Second, I've come up against some of these questions – why God does what He does, why He takes in some places where He preserves or give in others. And I don't really know that I have gotten any answers – but I do know that He has them, and I have learned to trust that that is enough. I've also heard the parallel between God and Christians and the military. Generals don't tell foot soldiers every detail of the mission they're executing – they tell them their portion of it and expect them to do it. God is similar. He gives our lives a specific purpose. We don't know how that fits into His plan – we just trust that it will. I don't think there's anything wrong with questioning, but I think we run into trouble when we go so far as to question His sovereignty {not that I think that's what you're doing here; I don't!}.
these are awesome questions for an awesome God. i know that i will never get answers to these questions. i personally feel like we are supposed to struggle in faith to some degree. it helps us seek Him out daily. when i feel my faith is weak from seeing what the world looks like, i pray for God to help me in my unbelief (mark 9:24).
Thank you for sharing so openly. My take on it: We live in a fallen world, by our choice, and are here to progress, to show God what we want, who we will follow, if we will cast off the world and desire more than anything to be His. (There's much more to our story of where we've been and where we're going after this life – but we can't remember much of that right now!) Pain and suffering and inconsistencies are inevitable in this world. But, without the bad, we wouldn't know the good. Without, pain, we wouldn't feel pleasure. There must be an opposite to everything, it's an eternal law. God is definitely all-powerful, but we don't even understand what that means. Our brains and perspective are so very limited – we don't even have the vocabulary to explain the nature of God. The only way to overcome all of this hardship here on planet earth, is to actually physically, cast off this world, turn and face our Lord, and become a true child of His. As we listen to His holy spirit, obey it, heed His voice, we are endowed with great FAITH, which leads to POWER. Power to overcome, power to reconnect with heaven and God, power to rise again, power to bless our families, power to make bad situations wonderful opportunities, power to understand, to be patience, loving, meek, long-suffering. We obtain power to become LIKE Jesus Christ. As we become like Him – truly like Him by turning away from everything unpure, He brings us to Him, we are adopted into His family, we rise above all this filth, and the most marvelous experiences and things lay in store for us – during this life, and beyond. He is our Savior because He is the only one who can pull us from this filth. He has graven each of us on His palms. We are His if we will follow Him and come to Him. His gospel is truly simple. His gospel is love – which leads to sanctification, purity, and reconnecting with heaven. It's hard to find God again though, if we are so focused on and loving the things of this fallen world. He is truly waiting for us to look up and refocus our attention on Him – in every way. Amen.
I think you would really love the book "The Reason For God" by Tim Keller. It really opened my eyes to all the questions you asked here and answers a lot of those tough questions. Encouraged by your honesty here though, would love to hear how your faith has been challenged and/or changed since having a bebe!