a quarrel, if you will, between husband and wife

easily grossed out?  skip this one.

the other night gracie did something really gross
involving unflushed poo in the toilet…not her own poo
(we haven’t trained her to go to the bathroom in the toilet
yet)
and yes, there is someone in this house, and it isn’t me
who sometimes forgets to flush
kids can be gross
so, now you can widdle it down to one of four
but i won’t tell you which
(might be lindsey)
anyway, as i was saying…
i was cleaning just a tad bit of you-know-what up off the bathroom floor
(considered being like mommy dearest and waking lindsey to yell
‘no more wire hangers unflushed toilets!’)
and then i went in to get ready for bed.
gracie was laying on the floor of our bedroom
some bowel movement lurching around in her stomach
i was brushing my teeth and over the white noise of running water
i heard steve talking
…to me?  couldn’t be sure.
me: “are you talking to me?  i can’t hear you.”
him: “no, i’m yelling at gracie.”
me: “she’s a dog.  she doesn’t get that you’re yelling at her about that.”
him: “i’m not yelling at her about that.  i’m telling her to lay down and go to sleep.”
me: “oh.”
him: “you’re always giving me instruction.”
me: “you know, you shouldn’t use ‘always’ and ‘never’ in fights.  you always do that.”

him: “well, isn’t this ironic.”

he won that one.