hopefully we’ve answered all the questions asked on instagram. this was initially over 30 minutes (!!) of video and steve told me, “this will be the end of your blog if you post it.” booooring. so i cut a ton, and got it down to 15 minutes which hopefully still covers the majority of it. if not, please feel free to ask below! i feel like i am so much more articulate in writing than i am speaking. is that what we call mom-brain?
thanks for watching!
I love this little FAQ on your lives! And you’re not the only one who writes better than she speaks – I think a lot of us bloggers are like that! đ
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
that’s probably true!
Love this video! Weâve been cosleeping since the beginning and love it. Whatever brings the best sleep! Now 3 of our children sleep in our king with us. I should see if we can fit a twin next to our bed like you did!
This was so well done!! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks to you guys for doing this post! We coslept with our first until she was about 2, and now co-sleep with our 5 month old. Wondering how you guys do bedtime when you have a babysitter or if you’re not home during bedtime? Our now 3 year old is still just a terrible sleeper, so I’m tempted to bring her back in our room, but curious how bedtime would go (even though we rarely even leave them ?)
good question. lindsey often babysits for us, and she can put them to sleep (the same way we do; gets in with them, reads a story, stays till they fall asleep… or at least till anders does). if it was someone they weren’t quite as familiar with, i would probably say they could just watch a movie and fall asleep in front of the tv instead of having that person attempt putting them to bed… though, the only other b-sitter we use is someone they’re very familiar with as well and she could probably get them to bed this way too!
I loved watching this… have six kids and never coslept with any of them but now I kinda wish I would have đ Although we have couch in our room and there’s almost always a kid on it, when they want to get away from everyone else! ha!
you gotta do whatever works!! ESPECIALLY with six! hats off to you, mama!
I really love this. I co-slept with my babies until my husband’s terrible snoring would wake them. Then, I was diagnosed with epilepsy while pregnant with my third and I realized it was so unsafe (for me) and I didn’t co-sleep with her. It was crushing.
oh ashley! i’m so sorry about that. i’m certain that third non-cosleeping baby is very secure and loved though. you know that, but i wanted to say it anyway! (and i woke steve about his snoring TWICE last night, ha! the boys usually sleep right through it though.)
I totally agree that cosleeping helped everybody in our family sleep the best. It worked great for us with all three of our kids, although our kids transitioned into their own beds a little earlier.
I do wish youâd just be a bit more frank on the sex part though, eeek. I know itâs your private life, but I do think that itâs tough on a marriage to have young kids, and logistically I think itâs difficult to âmake it happenâ when kids are sleeping in your bed and when you are tired and overextended (especially since you have teens who are probably up as late as you are!). My friends with a family bed admitted they sometimes have sex on their outdoor trampoline, haha. Now thatâs specific. đ
I hear you Erin! And in person, I’d be way more frank (I’m pretty open when it comes to sex and intimacy with my friends; but here on the internet I feel a bit more guarded. Let’s just say, we’d get along well w/ your friends!).
I loved this post and agree it not for everyone. But for me it is such a special gift. Like you said âeven though they are sleeping, itâs spending time together. â Personally for me it was second nature because my parents did it with all seven of us kids when we were young ( not all at once but as the new baby came.)
And from an evolutionary perspective itâs natural. We desire to be close and bond (especially with our infants) for our security.
Kudos to your 8 foot bed, and for kids who sleep soundly ??
I honestly never thought I’d cosleep before having kids (ha! I had a lot of ideas about how things would go down!) — but we ended up moving to a not-so-safe neighborhood and I had so. much. anxiety. about my children being down the hall (and, honestly, my son was in our bed most of the time anyway). And also, it was odd to us that we let our dog sleep on our bed but not our kids, haha! — now we ALL get better sleep. I always tell my new-momma friends to do “whatever gets everyone the most sleep!” whether it’s co-sleeping or separate rooms. I’ve been pretty open about our arrangement and I’ve realized sooo many families are doing this but are afraid to tell anyone. Thank you for sharing this!!
I don’t know why it should be so hush-hush! We love it! And I totally hear you on the anxiety when you were in a not so safe neighborhood.
It definitely isn’t for everyone. But I have always slept BEST and most soundly with my babies right next to me. So, here we are 7 years later still doing it!
Gosh, I love this. âHumans are made for touchâ I think is how you put it and I couldnât agree more. As a wife who is married to a man that grew up in an orphanage and had very little touch, I can attest to that. Affection is a struggle for him although he is better after having kids. Itâs probably the hardest part of our marriage for me. Donât get me wrong, we have a great marriage and love each other very much, but I can see where that is something that if learned early on is much easier than trying to acquire it later on in life. Parker and Anderâs wives will thank you someday!
Oh wow. I can’t imagine how that’s affected your husband (and you). Thank you for this comment, and love to you!
Thank you for sharing. I have a nearly 4 year old and a 1 year old. Our older son slept in our bed until he was almost 3, and now sleeps through the night happily in his own bed alone. I miss snuggling with him! I bed share with our one year old – we set up a full sized mattress in his room. But I miss my own bed! Our mattress is so much comfier than his. My husband does not sleep well with him in our bed, both of them are bed hogs, so weâve been stuck on what our next plan should be. This is totally inspiring! I think we may stick a twin next to our king. A few questions on logistics. Did you get 2 of the same bed frame and mattresses? We have a pretty high frame and a thick mattress. Our set up will also be 3 walls of bed, as our room is small. Where do you keep night stand items? I also feel like a fun name for the giant bed is in order..
nightstand is at the end of the bed… not convenient! the mattresses aren’t the same either but are nearly the same height (not perfect though). both are on boxsprings.
I so enjoyed this vlog, and equally as much for watching you both interact, as hearing on the topic. Hubby and I have co slept with all our kids and I love that they are naturally affectionate. As Ive researched attachment, Im so glad I went with my mommy instincts and ignored the “shoulds”. I really feel like we need to have private classes with you and hubby, where you go through marriage questions and making family work – but only those who pay, get to be part. What ya think? Then you can control your audience, but we can ask questions that are juicy, like, how you deal with judgy in laws or making intimacy work with teens who never sleep etc! đ
Loved this since you always manage to explain and share why you like it without judging.
Our sleeping situation/routine is still a work in progress and we tried and gave up and retried so many different things. When I was little we had a family bed mostly due to lack of space but my mamma also always felt better when attached to her kids and I loved it and felt so secure and protected (my siblings not so very much though). My husband on the other hand never had and he also grew up in a family that doesn’t hug or cuddle (Angie’s comment here resonated so deeply with me) so although he was open for trying it, he sometimes still struggles and uses a spare bed in his study when everything is too overwhelming.
This was so helpful, thank you! We have a newborn as well as our 2 and a half year old and we are just trying to work out sleep. At the moment I am sleeping with the little one and my husband in with the toddler as the still wakes needing reaaaurance and cuddles. Eventually I’d like to be in together, I miss the toddler! I sonetimee wonder whethrr we should be helping him learn how to sleep alone but I think he will get there in his own time.
Thank you again, Amy
Thanks so much for sharing!! Just wondering… do you do all naps in the bed too? How does that go at the various ages? Thanks!
we haven’t always had this arrangement in particular, but when the boys were young(er) and napping they often napped in our bed, yes!
Love this! We co sleep with our youngest (almost 7 months old) and up until last weekend my husband slept with our almost 4 years old and I slept with the baby, but we missed each other so now our oldest is in his own bed, and actually sleeping better and my husband is back in our room, and I am having to get used to his snoring again, but I will say, I simply love sleeping with my children. If we had a bigger bed (only a queen, and my husband is 6’2 and an XL), I would advocate for all of us to share. Thanks for sharing! Love you guys!
Unrelated to co-sleeping – where are your glasses from? They’re sooo cute!
amazon! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06Y4CM66C/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Loved this Bridge! My sister and I slept in the same bed off and on our entire lives, till we both moved out of our parents house when we were in college. I absolutely loved the experience! Weâre both now happily married and well adjusted adults in our 20âs. Our younger brother slept in my parents bed till he was 6 feet tall at 14 years old. One day he just said to my parents âthis bed is kinda crowdedâ and went upstairs and started sleeping in his room. The transition happens whenever it feels natural! Love you and your family. Yâall are so inspiring. Keep up the good work!
The kids love it to sleep all within arms reach from eachother. We do on holidays and when needed. Even through the eldest just loves her OWN room and private time.
She must take after her mama.
Ha!
I loooovvvve to sleep alone and undisturbed. My own coccoon of rest.
Even though my boys love to cuddle up and tear down entire forests with their snoring.
Being a wanted mother and wife truly is the best in the world ( Will sleep when….someday and all those moments i can grap a room for ME)( whereâs the chocolate and book?)
I just listened to ‘Tribe’ on Audiobook and am now newly intrigued about co-sleeping. We have a 2 year old who quite happily sleeps in her own crib in her own room. She slept in our bed until about 5 months old and then in our room in a crib until she was a year old. Now, I want her in my bed. Any experience with this? I can’t find much on the internet as most things are geared towards toddlers transitioning TO their own bed, not into the family bed…
Ha, yes. Most will be about getting them OUT of our beds! I’d say just begin. We have pretty much always slept with them, so I’ve never gone from crib to bed really. Just try it, and see how she likes it!