I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions and never really have been (related, perhaps: I’ve never given anything up for Lent either. Maybe I’m just selfish? Unmotivated?). I was with friends the other day–a New Year’s Day lunch which I hope might become a tradition because it was such a lovely way to begin a New Year as opposed to waking up hung over and regretting decisions made the night before–having soup and cheese and crackers and homemade bread and wine. One of my friend’s posed the question: any New Year’s resolutions? I tried my best to stay deadpan as I said, “No. [pause] I’m really my best self right now.”I’m not, of course, but I do feel like my 30s have brought with it a new, oh, self awareness that I lacked in my 20s. For one, I recognize that human suffering is, in large part, man-made. As my counselor once said, “We’re the only species on earth who’s mind can cause so much suffering.” (Is that true? I feel as though elephants’ minds might also be able to cause them suffering related to missing a loved one.). It’s a pretty fantastic realization.
For another, I’m realizing, more all the time, that people are complicated. Life is complicated. Marriage is complicated. Parenting is complicated. What’s less complicated, I think, is what we all really desire: to love and be loved. I’m trying harder this year to listen, to validate, and to love. Especially when it’s hard.
I just read a status on Facebook the other day and it was brilliant. The essence was this: blogging is like lifestyle porn. And, I think, for some can gnaw away at self-esteem. Viewing these seemingly perfect squares day after day can leave one feeling empty, ugly, sad, poor, not enough. I’ve had these thoughts before but referring to it as lifestyle porn was so spot-on. So what are we to do with this? I’m a part of this culture! It’s something to think about. Just as we’re aware of the food we’re ingesting, we should do the same with the media we’re ingesting. If it’s making you feel badly, cut it out. Cut it out right now! (And, most importantly, remember that these squares are such a small part of a very large, and perhaps very messy, puzzle.) We need to be responsible in both our blogging and our reading. This is a good conversation. And so 21st century of us, eh?
Oh, and here’s a chili. This chili is one of my favorites. Sometimes it surpasses beef chili for me. You’re going to laugh at (and/or be frustrated with) my recipe because it’s really not a recipe at all but I think that’s the point of chili. It’s not a soufflé that’s going to sink if you stir too much. It’s chili! Forgiving! Too much salt? Add some sour cream at the end.
White Chicken Chili
serves 4-6
chicken, 2-4 breasts, cubed or pulled
3 cans beans – a mix of pinto, cannellini, navy, any combo (it just wont’ be “white” if you use black beans, obviously; as far as taste goes, it makes no difference)
red/orange/yellow peppers, cubed – I used three this time.
1-2 onions, diced
6 cups (or more, depending on how brothy you like it) chicken broth
1 t (or more, if you’re a fan; I am!) cumin
1/2 t oregano
1 T salt
Sauté onions in a little bit of olive oil. When they soften, add cumin, oregano, and salt. Then cook your chicken (if you’ve already cooked your chicken ahead of time, add it with the broth; if you don’t feel like cutting it up, you can do what I sometimes do–the lazy woman’s way!–and cook it in the broth. Broth must come to a boil if you do it this way!). After chicken is cooked, add beans, and peppers. I add the peppers last and then keep it at a simmer once they’re in so they don’t get too soft.
Enjoy with sour cream, cheese, and chips if you like!
Bridget, I had never heard blogging described as ‘lifestyle porn’ before, but there may be an element of truth there. I was on Instagram for a time but I did notice that it was making me less happy and more prone to comparing so I deleted my account. I now visit about three Insta accounts through blogs – yours included! I think the key is moderation! My current, more moderate Insta viewing seems more balanced to me and I feel better! : )
I think this is a valuable thing to consider.
Happy New Year!!
I’m the same as you – I never make new years resolutions. I always want to but I know I probably won’t keep them anyway, haha.
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
“lifestyle porn”. whoa. spot on and i think very helpful to realize that.
Bridget,
I love that little thing you did there, showing the photo of the chili ‘two ways’. One edited perfection, the other showing you teetering on a stool with mismatched socks. Brilliant. Thank you. Happy New Year to you!!!
I think your words are wonderful and true, but honestly just loving on the mismatched socks! Ha.
Great food for thought coming into the new year! I think everyone who interacts in social media can relate to this…feeling less…feeling not good enough, interesting enough….obtain a wanting of material things you probably wouldnt have even thought about until you saw a post and then feel like you NEED it. Thank you for this reminder, and honesty Bridget 🙂
I’ve been one of the (un)fortunate ones to have caught the “new year cold”, so your white chicken chili has come at a perfect time. You’ve also reminded me of the time we did a big family (grandparents, aunts, cousins etc) breakfast on the 1st day of the year…oh, quite a few years ago. It was lovely. It should have been a tradition. Maybe next year.
Love the “lifestyle porn” realization! It’s so true! Social media has a way of making everyone look perfect. This is perfect grounds for comparison which is always the thief of joy. Thank you for your insight!
I love that quote!
Random question but how do you keep your stovetop grates clean? Yours look like mine…porous, rough, and matte. The only thing I can find that works is nasty, chemical stuff which I hate using. In fact, last time I was cleaning with the nasty stuff it was making my nose itch so I rubbed the end of it. Got a chemical burn in the shape of a perfect circle on the tip of my nose. Gross and hahah!
oh that’s awful! and yes, mine are matte too. I will say, they’re dirtier than they appear in the picture!! but hot water and baking soda (and maybe some lemon essential oil if you have it – unreal at cleaning!!) soaked in the sink when plugged!
Lifestyle porn – so true. I think it’s hard to remember that we don’t get the full picture when a feed is curated full of beautiful images and pithy captions. Also, chili – yum!
Your words describe so much of what’s going through my head too as we start the new year. I think we have to be almost exactly the same age, and I was just reflecting the other day on how much more self aware I am now than I was in my 20s, but in terms of like knowing how I think, how I work, what I need in my relationships from others, those types of things. Hadn’t really thought of it as it relates to the world around me – thanks for making me think a little differently!
This sounds so delicious! Love chicken chili!