me & parker taken the morning after he was born.
and, to add to your reading pleasure, a few of the songs that were on my birthing playlist
… now, if only i could dub in the sounds that i was making.
it’s sort of surreal to be sitting here, parker sleeping on me in the carrier, writing my own story of the labor and delivery of my son. truly, the whole experience of pregnancy and childbirth and all that it entails–the worries, the excitement, the flutters that turn to kicks, the “can i eat that’s”, the frequent bathroom trips, and the heartbeats on the doppler, the ups, the downs–is amazing. i’m getting weepy as i write this. the whole thing was just so significant, so huge. i remember one of my older sisters saying that, after giving birth she felt like the president of the united states should’ve called her up and been like, “congratulations! job well done! today marks a new holiday forever in your honor!” this, of course, doesn’t happen. life goes on outside the walls of that hospital, or birth center, all the while you’re pushing a baby out of you. but it feels like everything should stop, at least for a moment, to pay tribute to this new life that just came into the world. right?!?
now, where to begin? i loved pregnancy. as evidenced in my 39/40 post, i was so content with parker staying put as long as he wanted. and that really wasn’t BS for the blog world to be like, “ohhh, she’s all mother-nature-crunchy-woman on us, all happy with a 56-week gestation period!” i really loved being pregnant and i found myself the happiest towards the end. since having parker i’ve seen other pregnant girls walking around and i get a little pang of jealousy. having the little man with me always, our secret little relationship of kicks and jabs, was special. and i do miss it.
but he’s here now. and that is pretty great. his little eyes opening and closing slowly when he first wakes up next to me and his feet all folded up frog-like, and his hair getting all matted down and sweaty from sleeping on me for the umpteenth hour, and his smiles, oh the smiles! i like having him here a whole heck of a lot. safe to say, i’m obsessed with the little man.
so, the birth story. i thought i’d go late. i was prepared to be one of those castor-oil-chugging-at-41-weeks-and-6-days-for-fear-of-induction pregnant women. my mom and dad were arriving on friday (july 22nd), staying overnight, going to a wedding in NH on saturday, and then my dad would head home to the philly area and my mom would stay on for 2-ish weeks waiting for his arrival. our plan was always to have her in the birth room with steve and i. she would stay on after his birth to open a can of nanny mcphee in the hunt house… doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, and waiting on the new mom (yes, it’s a sweet set-up, and yes, i love her dearly. one of my sisters, who’s had this a+ treatment after her first-born called her a “whirling dervish of efficiency” and ’tis true, my friends, ’tis very true). so, friday night, she and my dad arrive, and we head out to dinner nearby. we were having a heatwave and it had to be low 90s even in the evening. i had some spicy chicken tenders and wondered when this babe would make his appearance (hoping it wouldn’t be towards the very end of my mom’s 2-week stay). we walked around town afterwards, took some pictures, the kids played around a grassy field with their cousins, and the sun went down on that friday night.
saturday morning around 4 am i woke up to use the bathroom and noticed that my underwear was wet. not soaked, but just damp. “did i pee my pants?!” my first thought. it’d be a first this pregnancy, but i didn’t think it was entirely unlikely seeing as there was a child on my bladder. i didn’t think much of it (silly bridget). i just went to the bathroom, changed my underwear, and went back to bed. the next morning i woke up, steve and my dad went out to breakfast nearby, and i noticed more water… never a gush, but certainly a trickle. i was still sort of in disbelief that this could be “the water.” i’d been having a lot of braxton hicks over the past few days, and every time i had one that morning, i’d feel more water coming out. i soon realized, this was it. steve came home from breakfast and i met him in the garage in my pajamas and said, “i think my water broke.” he said, “are you serious?!” and we hugged. obviously pregnancy has to end with a baby, but (is it just me, ladies?) i was almost in denial that labor would ever get here. did i think i’d have that bump forever? perhaps. nobody ever said pregnant women weren’t a little cah-ray-zee.
so, i told my mom and dad what was up, and they figured they’d skip the wedding. i wasn’t having any real labor and once your water breaks, you’re “on the clock” so to speak. they don’t really like you going past 24 hours without having your baby, so it’s in everyone’s best interest to get labor started!! i ate some yogurt, granola, pineapple, drank lots of water, and called my sister to get her advice (she was also our birth instructor!). she suggested not calling the hospital yet. they might want me to come in immediately or at least put me on their timetable since my water had already broken. i felt safe to stay home for awhile–there was no meconium in the water, i was strep b negative, and i could feel him moving still. our plan was always to labor at home as long as i felt i could. so around 10 am we went for a 2.5 mile walk around our neighborhood. i was staying fairly relaxed and letting my body do its thing. throughout the walk, i’d keep having contractions but nothing i couldn’t walk and talk through. i’d just take note and guess about how long they were, while moving. we eventually made it home where my mom did foot reflexology on me, particularly working the pressure points that can induce labor. i continued drinking water, breathing through the fairly mild contractions, and swaying (for some reason, i swayed from the moment i woke up throughout most of the day… swaying felt natural.).
around noon they started getting more serious. where i found myself focusing during the contraction, on all fours, leaning over my bed or the counter. i could still talk between them, but was more “in the zone” during them. steve started recording them and realized they were coming every few minutes and lasting a minute or more. we got on skype with my sister (this happened at my house, not in the hospital, for those of you who read her guest post and thought that!) and i’d disappear from the skype screen every minute or two to have another one. we decided around 1 to call the hospital, see which midwife was on call, and give them the latest.
in the ob-gyn practice i go to, there are five midwives and by the end of all your prenatal appts. you end up getting to know all of them. of those five, there were two that i was hoping for more than the others. i was thrilled when one of them was the one on-call that night. i told her my water broke sometime that morning and she suggested i come in sometime later that afternoon. towards the end of our conversation i had to hand the phone over to steve to finish the conversation because of another contraction. they definitely were progressing.
around 3, we got in the car to go to the hospital. i will say, i was torn about whether to go or not. i felt like it was a good place to be, but i was freaked out about them intervening if i ended up being in really early labor (i did give them my “birth plan” and trusted that, barring any issue with the baby, it would go fairly accordingly). i will say too that i have a bit of a competitive side–three older sisters who’ve all had beautiful labors, never arriving at the hospital in super early labor to only be told to go home, and hells no would i be the sissy-pants who arrived at 1 cm. thinking i was at 5 cm. to only be the laughing stock of the carmody girls for the rest of time! in the car i had a serious contraction on all fours in the backseat. confirmation that i was heading to where i needed to be? i think so. either way, i accepted the fact that i was going to the hospital and just hoped that i was motoring through this labor as i hoped.
on the way to the elevator i had another contraction, got up to the room, had another, tried to sign hospital papers, had another. i had my midwife check me. 5 cm! SCORE. things were moving along. the time was around 3:30.
i got in a hospital gown (even though i was all, “i’m not laboring in a hospital gown. i’ll be in my own clothes, dammit!). when the time came, i could’ve cared less and, let me tell you, birth is a messy process. i mean, the linen changes alone… there had to have been 86 towel-changes throughout the next few hours. “a clean one? ah, give me just a few seconds girls, i will fix that in just a jiffy.” so being in a hospital gown was no problem. i was now in the zone during, in between, and after contractions. i didn’t talk to anyone much, i didn’t give positive or negative feedback with what steve or my mom were doing, but i would continue doing what was working and what felt good.
these pictures verge on inappropriate. i assure you, steve is not trying to get me knocked up again whilst giving labor, as the image might suggest.
anyway, in our bag we had our ipod dock and a birth playlist that was playing right from the start. those are some of the songs you might be listening to now. i was aware of the music, aware of things happening around me, someone rubbing my leg or telling me good job, but i was definitely in the zone and not a very verbal birther. i found i was one of those, what should i call it, groaners? i made this sort of low groan as i exhaled to match my contractions each time i had one. it was like a distraction from the pain? i certainly didn’t plan to do that but i found myself groaning each time one came on. there is a video. no, you’re not going to see it. and when you think, “oh, i will be too embarassed to groan!” you won’t.
those pictures, i think, are me during transition. particularly where i’m hanging on steve doin’ the labor dance. that seems to be when i went from 7ish to complete because it was soon after that when, in the middle of my contractions, i felt the urge to bear down. “like you’re pooping?” “indeed, ladies, indeed.” i think this was around 6:30ish. though i wasn’t a real verbal birther, i do remember thinking at various times, “there has got to be a better way to do this” and “i see why women get epidurals.” those thoughts definitely ran through my head. anyway, i had more contractions like that–where i felt like i was approaching pushing time. i asked to be checked and was complete. hurrah!
so, i pushed for about an hour. nothing in labor felt like a long (or short) time–i honestly wouldn’t have known the difference between 10 minutes and 1 hour it seems. it was like time stood still (cliche much?). i pushed on a birthing stool, on all fours, on my side… i moved a lot, trying to usher parker through the birth canal because, let’s face it, while i loved being pregnant, at this point i was ready to be done. it seems he was too. so, the most effective pushing seemed to be on my back, grabbing my thighs and hiking my legs towards me as far as i could–like a c-curve. i had a few contractions like that… using literally every ounce of strength i had, before he came out. i will say, i lost my cool a little bit at crowning (they don’t call it the ring of fire for nothing… and i tore, ladies, but i can confidently say it does heal!) and steve had to remind me to breathe slowly. but that was like the last two seconds of labor, thank goodness. and, at 8:05 pm, here was parker…it was him all along…in my arms, and i was overcome with emotion. we were overcome with emotion. being handed this baby, both a stranger to you and someone with whom you feel this incredible bond, is out of this world.
there are no words.
so, labor was hard work. it was definitely hard work… and then you’ve got this beautiful child who is yours forever at the end of it and love fills up any space that the work, and sweat, and pain, and blood might have. it’s just… gah, like i said, there are no words. i loved it.
so that’s our story. where parker’s life met ours. i love you sooo much little boy. we are so glad you are here.
and…three cheers for these two… team parker (or team get-parker-out?)… i am sooooo grateful for them. they were amazing, encouraging, hands-on… everything i wanted and more. (and i would totally be remiss to not mention my birth-teaching sister meghan who’s 8-week class steve and i took. i highly recommend a birthing class. i felt so prepared for what labor would entail and honestly wouldn’t want to go into it any other way).
there you have it. parker’s birth story. one of the most incredible days of my life.
this was absolutely beautiful. you are my hero.
That was a great birth story, bridget! Definitely passed the birthstory-cry test 🙂 So happy you and Steve got to welcome in Parker in such a beautiful way.
~Lydia
This doesn't help my baby fever.
Oh. And this post made me cry.
Thank you for sharing.
Bisous.
Such a lovely story. Beautiful family, congrats and all that!
Beautiful, Bridget. Those pics of you with your hair all soft and curly still high from Parker's birth? Makes me want to call Justin right now and tell him we're doing this thing.
yep you are my hero bridge.
beautiful. Thanks for sharing and for making me have major baby fever. GAH.
This is awesome! So detailed and so beautifully written.
I want to do it again!
Do you ever feel that way? That you'd just like to check back in the hospital and do it all over again? You really captured the wonderful excitement of it…not to mention made me cry…and laugh. That's good writing right there.
And PS…I'm glad you got your competitive wish. It would have been a huge bummer to show up and be just 1cm.
congrats! i'm so glad you were able to do it drug-free! it's such a huge feat (i had both my boys epidural free too). i can relate to everything you wrote with the groaning and inability to get comfortable; very hard work :0 thanks for sharing your story!
What a wonderful birth story. You go girl! Parker is simply adorable.
goosebumps.
such sweetness… makes my eyes well up and my heart ache a bit.
you're a beautiful mama… inside and out.
xx
Oh yes, the groan that comes from nowhere. I was like is that me doing that? that wasn't in my plan! it was almost meditative.
@the rigolosos, get justin on that immediately!
@e, YES. i do want to do it again.
@becca, seriously. like an animal was under my bed roaring. that wasn't me.
i am just dying here looking at that picture of you holding parker for the first time. i am so proud of you sister. i love you!
p.s. i am with e – i want to do it again too.
Yes! This sounds like a lovely experience. Honestly, it took so long for you to post this, I was worried maybe it didn't go as you'd hoped. So glad I was wrong!
Amazing story! Absolutely beautiful pictures!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
You have me in tears over here. My baby fever has reached new levels!
The emotion of the photo of you first holding Parker is palpable.
Congratulations to you and your growing family. I hope you are able to soak up every moment.
xo,
Brhea
http://www.noplacelykehome.blogspot.com
Bridget! Just what you hoped for! How blessed you are.
I am so in awe of you. I really didn't doubt for a second that you would be amazing at laboring. I love the photos of you in transition. You look textbook perfect in it. My Sears book said you should look almost like you're sleeping and relaxed even though you are far from it. That is exactly what you look like. And for some reason Steve and your Mom in the photos are the people that make me want to cry. That kind of support is so so amazing. Please tell Steve that you must have 1 or 2 more. You are just too good at this.
Gosh I'm so proud of you! So happy for you! Beautifully written birth story for a beautiful little man.
Now I think I'll go get pregnant again so I can give birth to another. Good birth stories do that to me.
also that pic of you meeting him for the first time.
no words.
What a beautiful boy, you are a lucky lady!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I am 14 weeks pregnant and have been thinking about a natural birth and your story was so very encouraging. Beautiful pictures, beautiful baby.
im in awe, excited, emotional, and horrified all at the same time.
you and your vagina are amazing. and parker is a stud.
ugh and the pic of you meeting..i concur with the ones above me…it gets me.
Oh my. I want to have my baby all over again. Scratch that, I want to have another baby. I love this. So, so much.
It's just the most amazing, beautiful thing, making and meeting a little human.
I get to photograph my sis in laws birth any day now and I am so, so excited. Oh, those pictures of yours. I want to go back.
I'm teary. I just love birth stories. So much emotion and really not something you can prepare for (the emotion part), in my opinion. And I, too, am often a teensy bit jealous when I see a pregnant woman. I really do miss that whole mine-all-mine thing, but we've chatted about that before…
XO!
@erin, pure laziness took me this long to post it!
@lindsey, you got my email so thats that!
@meg,you and your vag will be a-ok when your time comes!
Really beautiful story! Thanks so much for sharing, I was so pumped when i saw the title of this post–grabbed myself glass of wine and put my feet up 🙂 xoxo
love it. I could actually hear your voice, the pitches of excitement, the serious clarifications. I felt like I was sitting next to you drinking a cup of coffee and listening to every bit! thanks so much for sharing.
as for all of you who want to do it again, I totally agree. I have the baby itch and want number 2 now, even I knew my labor would take 50 hours again!!!
Ok, may be crying now. It was that pic of your face when he was born that did it! Beautiful Bridget. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Even though it will be my third time giving birth later this year I'll def be thinking of your story and being inspired by it 🙂
perfect!
great story. i had a ride to the hospital like that too, in the back seat on all fours – trying to get through the contractions. what a wild ride!
beautiful!
P.S. You're not supposed to look that pretty after you give birth! It's just not allowed.
Such a perfect post. Although we all share different stories, I get weepy reading others' birth experiences because in the end all that's there is… pure, uninhibited joy.
Gah, now i want a baby! This is so beautiful Bridget. I love the photo of you holding Parker and looking so surprised and excited. Perfect. x
I'm a sucker for birth story. They're just as awesome, but more special than love stories. Although, only a mom can relate and know how I mean that. I too really missed being pregnant after my first. I actually found myself crying at times and feeling like she should be inside me, not out. It was the strangest feeling. DID NOT happen the second time. I think life just went into survival mode mothering a newborn and toddler.
Honestly though, sounds like giving birth to Parker was a blessing straight from Heaven. You did well and I'm so glad everything went according to plan. As one of my favorite songs goes "…some call it luck, when all along it's Grace…"
Thanks for sharing!!!!!
P.S. I laughed my tush off when I read the captions/explanations of the transition labor pictures. If it makes you feel any better, that's exactly how I felt best laboring. Aaaand, sitting on the toilet swaying. It was quite a sight.
this is amazing. and that photo of you meeting your little guy for the first time brought me to tears…so beautiful!
What a beautiful story Bridget. Thanks so much for sharing it 🙂
It was great to read how Parker came into the world!
What a lucky little guy.
Oh, and that's a great photo of you and Parker at the top of the post. You definitely should frame that.
Bridg – you inspire me. This is such a beautiful story! I was just talking with my husband tonight about you and Steve, and how I am so happy to know a story of God's beauty, love and redemption. Congratulations again to you and your family! xoxo -A
LOVE LOVE LOVE reading a fellow Bradley/natural birth birth story! I'm so glad things went as you hoped and planned. My labor/birth was quite similar and reading your story brought back so many memories! It's such an amazing experience and I can't wait to do it again. Blessings to you, Parker and the rest of your family. Go natural birth! 😉
Beautiful! I am still in college, but have always been ridiculously scared of birth. Good to know it can be something YOU do as your own thing! Thanks for sharing such a wonderful and inspiring story
Gosh, you make me feel so excited for that moment for myself. I can't believe in 4 months I will be meeting my daughter. Someone who is part me…thats a feeling thats enough to blow my mind right there. This story makes me feels so incredibly empowered. I hope with all that I am that I can have this kind of experience when I give birth to Evaleigh. You look incredible all covered in sweat and tears while looking at your son and Steve crouched over so proud by your side. I am so happy for your family. Thank you so much for sharing part of this sacred experience with us.
I must add one more thing. You look so much like my mother when she was young, especially in that first picture. It makes me teary to look at it. You are the epitome of beauty in that picture.
@tunes and spoons, you gots my email!
also, i just want to thank everyone for your kind words! it was such an awesome experience. the human body and its wisdom is an incredible thing to be sure!!
that first photo is so amazing.
this was very fun to read, you are a great writer; able to underline both the funny and the profound at once.
beautyfull.
xxx
wow. this was so beautiful. what an experience. and you were so beautiful through it all.
and those pictures of steve knocking you up again are priceless 🙂
This post is so sweet. Your birth story makes me want to try for a VBAC. Maybe all natural just to experience it?
I asked my husband what he thinks about that and he said "I think you'll never make it."
I have a low pain tolerance I guess.
Beautiful pictures Bridget. Seriously, no one looks that good just after giving birth.
Just incredible. It's been kind of a rough day and reading this just made my heart swell and smile. And those photos of you with Parker are so, so sweet. You look so beautiful and so utterly in heaven at the little creature in your arms.
Parker is a lucky boy.
Love. Love. Love. Childbirth is incredible. Congratulations!
It is actually encouraging to hear positive birth stories. I feel like so often the story I hear is "I really wanted to do it naturally, but nothing went right." So, this is nice to hear.
I totally relate to the 'not getting to the hospital too early' desire and was almost embarrassed when I was only 4 cm upon arriving. I made up for it though when I hit 10 cm an HOUR later and pushed the wee one out in three pushes! Congrats Bridget!
I've been reading your lovely blog for a while but don't think I've ever commented.
Your birth story was so touching and the pictures – the pictures!! Stunningly beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks for sharing.
Bridget, I've now read this three times and get so weepy every time! I am completely in awe of you and will probably read it another five times today. 🙂
p.s. I agree… You look so beautiful in the pictures– and the one when you first see Parker…. no words.
Thanks for sharing it. I miss you.
Baby Grantika didnt move omce during that story…we were both in fear/awe. Can you come out for our labor please?
Thanks for sharing. Your birth story is beautiful and made me cry happy tears. Congrats!
Wow, you are a trooper! Loved reading this!
awe inspiring for sure. love love love your story.
Oh Bridget, this is a beautiful birth story. I have tears coming to my eyes. Oh, natural birth is so empowering and that’s what I would like to experience during my labour.
You had a great support. Hubby and I are going to birthing classes and next week we will start a natural birthing classes.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
P.S: Baby Berry was dancing in the belly to Liam O'Flynn's song. I should add it to my birth playlist :).
okay, this is officially the sweetest thing i've ever read. your mom is amazing! so is steve. but my goodness, your mom! also, you've got to be the most graceful mama ever. xoxo
Children aren't even a blip on my radar, but this made me all weepy. It's so beautiful.
And p.s. it should be illegal to look that good after giving birth. You are a rockstar, my friend.
You are awesome.
And how does that kid look so darn cute immediately?
Have you seen these? http://www.kelleyryden.com/ If not, caution: they may make you want to live in Omaha Nebraska. I'm definitely in danger of going out and stealing someone's child and driving him to Omaha Nebraska.
Love this.
I can't believe I never realized how amazing childbirth was until I lived through it. Now whenever I drive past the hospital where our little Harper was born, I think to myself, "Peoples lives are changing in there…"
N is only 4 months old but I already feel like I could have another–and I have a 2yr old too! I miss having him in me, miss the special mom and baby only bond. I loooove being pregnant, and giving birth is just magical, pain and all. Your story is beautiful, your pictures are beautiful (my favorite is the one where you've just had Parker put on your chest!), I love it! I've been so eagerly awaiting this post!
Love the groaning. I never wanted to be noisy while giving birth, but though I was quiet for contractions I yelled my head off (no words and not screaming, but quite the animal yell) during the minute or so that I pushed him out. Totally not planned but I had no control over my vocal cords in that moment–I even apologized to my nurse after, ha.
Oh yes, I want to do it again many times…especially given how unique and wonderful my boys are now that they're out of the womb. It's so crazy being able to have true conversations with S now! Anyway, I'm being long winded, sorry, but I just LOVED this! And you've made my baby fever worse! Too bad breast feeding is amazing birth control! 😉
hey everyone- thank you SO much for the comments. i loved sharing the story with you all because i loved being a part of the story myself!!! so… anyway… thanks.
parker says, "you da bomb." he's really advanced. and ghetto.
I totally "saved" this post to read as my last one this evening.
So lovely.
2 things. 1. The only thing I have ever been envious of (EVER) is of other pregnant women. 2. I friggin' loved giving birth. Like crazy loved.
You are amazing. Great pics. 2nd to last is my fave –
xo
what a great story! congratulations, hunt family 🙂
parker's already a heartbreaker!
so so beautiful. thank you for sharing your story… I totally cried.
Wow, Bridget. This is amazing. I've read a lot of birth stories, and to be honest, I usually stop at the part where they show up at the hospital, because I've never given birth myself and I just get to a point where it all seems too intimidating…but this is so beautiful. I soaked up every word. Blessings to you and your sweet fam, especially this new addition. Xo, Katie
@katie, and everyone, thanks so much!
very very sweet! I love the pic of you and steve being "inappropriate" and I love the 2nd to last pic of the 3 of you, it is beautiful!
beautiful! congratulations again. Isn't so amazing to re-read this and get to live it (just a little bit) all over again?
oop, that last comment was from me. Sneaky google had me logged in to the wrong account.
(BIG) sigh. and love.
Oh, what is it about being the momma of a newborn that makes seeing pictures of sweet-looking babes just bring tears to your eyes? That picture of Parker's little face just did it to me!
oh bridgett I loved parker's birth story!! your writing made me smile, laugh, cry…goodness it sounds like you handled it all like a champ 🙂 So glad you had such a beautiful experience!!! "being handed this baby, both a stranger to you and someone with whom you feel this incredible bond, is out of this world." AMEN 🙂 hugs to you and your family!
PS – the first photo of you as a new mom…sweetly stunning 🙂 then the photo of them putting Parker in your arms is so SO tender 🙂 and the photo of you & Steve looking at your new son is absolutely beautiful.
Aww wow thank you so much for sharing your birthing experience! What beautiful pictures.. what a beautiful mummy & boy!
M x
amazing… wow! Did you use the Bradley method?
I'm so glad to hear that natural birth in a hospital CAN be done.
Congratulations!! He is so beautiful. What a beautiful story. <3
Oh my GOODNESS!! I LOVE your birth story! Being the oldest of nine, giving birth to three little people and having two younger sisters who have recently had babies, plus, three sisters in law who have also recently given birth, I have heard and experienced A LOT of birth stories! Your's has got to be one of the best simply because you had me cracking up laughing at the Steve getting you knocked up whilst pregnant comment. Oh my gosh, seriously laughing so hard. Yes, it was at that moment I decided I needed to be a follower of your blog. I was NOT expecting that kind of hilarity on a Monday. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing such a sweet day.
XOXO,
Angie from Ohio
I just cried like a baby, no pun intended. You are amazing, this is like my ultimate birth story. Just perfect.
I went natural myself, and reading your birth story made me feel like I was re-experiencing all of it. I loved it! Thank you.
gah i love it when women go natural. i tore, too. 4th degree. i didn't heal until about 8 weeks. and i did wonder if i ever would, but yes- like you said, finally! haha
I just want you to know I may just be your newest, biggest blogger fan 🙂 I had a natural birth as well, and your birthing story is so inspiring and beautiful, I may or may not have cried. xoxo!
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