Tales of Me and the Husband

Coming up with a system.

I am counting to 1, 2, 3 at least four times a day for Parker right now. Or threatening, “I’m about to ask a third time. I’m about to!” We’re not certain what happens if I reach 3 and my request continues to go unnoticed. Sometimes I declare, “No Paw Patrol!” (An addiction of his at the moment, and one that I am trying to break.)

But I’d like to get a better system. A chart? Something with stickers? Good listening, being kind to Anders, getting ready for the day nicely, and helping around the house gets him closer to… a new Matchbox car? A knight? Something that motivates him to do xyz and keeps me from feeling frustrated. I don’t want it to be so difficult and the reward so hard to attain that he loses interest. I want it to be something where he can obviously see his progress. I also don’t love rewarding children for things that they should do like brushing their teeth, or picking up their room, but maybe I should reward for those now? Stop when he’s older and more is expected of him? Do you give a sticker for a full day of good behavior? Or a sticker for every time they listen when they don’t want to? I want to have it spelled out for me! What do you do?

A quick search on Pinterest brought up two that I like: this ticket system maybe? Or this pom-pom jar one? 

Steve and I–and maybe you too?–have the hardest time sticking to things when it comes to discipline. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and when times are desperate we do come up with a system. And then, time passes, things are less desperate, we get lax. Our inconsistency is so frustrating to me. Our last big parenting move was banning technology from 5-7:30 unless it was for school use. (Things were very desperate at the time.) We’ve since, you guessed it, gotten more lax. Until things turn desperate again.

What’s your system?

lately.

Some books I’d highly recommend! The top one is A Child’s History of the World and while I think it’s makes the rounds in the homeschooling world, it should be on every shelf. It’s a comprehensive world history book written for the 7-10 age group in a really light, fun way. But, honestly, I’ve picked it up and read pages before and learned something too (I’m someone who wishes she knew a lot more about history than I do. I didn’t pay nearly enough attention in school, and regret that now!). The other two were both good library books we got out–especially Animalium. Parker and I looked through this one for at least an hour. It’s got a cool “Welcome to the Museum” shtick that I liked. Get this one! I’d even say it’s worth owning.
This boy before his latest (second!) haircut. Looking up at the sky for an airplane.
I made Ina’s lemon chicken the other day and between the ingredients and the smell, I really thought I’d declare a resounding you must make this (enough to take a picture of it before sitting down to feast), I was actually a little bit disappointed by it. I’m going to let Ina off easy on this one though, cause I don’t think it’s her fault. I think I’m just a little underwhelmed, always, in giant pieces of chicken (plus, I didn’t use boneless, so maybe the work of cutting the chicken off the bone is affecting my judgement). I’m a chicken-diced-up-in-a-casserole-or-taco person. I am just not that excited about a whole chicken breast unless–one caveat–there’s tons of really delicious sauce with it. That’s all there is to it. However, the smell is pretty spectacular: white wine, lemon, garlic, salt…
click below to read more!

I can’t get enough of these quiet moments watching them. They don’t last long, but I try to get a picture when they do. This is such a typical one. Cushions thrown off the couch, one with a Bill Peet and one with a Daniel Tiger. There’s not too many things that make me as happy as seeing them flip through books.
Parker still talks about Gracie a lot. The other day he took these two magnets off the fridge, and stuck them to the table next to him while he ate his breakfast. It broke my heart. He misses her so much.
Hanging out waiting for a table the other day at one of our favorite restaurants. In my basic momiform: these jeans, and this tee (a favorite; i bought it in two colors and am tempted to buy it in all of the others), and shoes (c/o).

I made popsicles for the boys the other day and these molds are the most baby-friendly I’ve seen yet. They don’t make gigantic popsicles that a little one can’t finish, plus the handle is perfect for their hands. I love them. This batch was avocado, banana, raw milk, and acai.

Nathaniel is graduated!! Wasn’t I just putting this post up?! Steve got to hand him his diploma which was so nice. It was really special and the day couldn’t have been more beautiful–80 degrees here! He’s home for a few weeks before heading to Scotland with friends, and then we’ll see what happens next!
Sitting with this sweet post-nap boy. It’s his cuddliest time so I take advantage of it as much as I can. Wearing some of my favorites too–shirt and necklace–from the lovely Rebekah Gough.
Something from Parker’s school. I love bringing home the little crafts and things he makes there.
Parker’s soccer season has begun and he is LOVING it this year. Last year he was much more tentative, and needed a lot of coaxing to get into it. This year he has a blast. I love it! What a difference a year makes.

weekend links.

This weekend is Nathaniel’s college graduation! COLLEGE GRADUATION. That’s crazy. Anyway, it’s supposed to be almost 80 tomorrow–perfect day for it! And we’ve got family in town. It’ll be fun. What are you up to? 

I went text-crazy sending these incredible rental properties to my family. “Family reunion! $50 a head!” Amazing.

This carpool with Gwen Stefani, George Clooney, and Julia Roberts is so good.

Love this bootie.

73 Questions with Taylor Swift.

This simple ring is so pretty.

How to order wine like a sommelier. (One of my favorites, and not just cause of the price ($7!), is the organic Merlot from Trader Joe’s! It seriously is good and whenever I serve it people ask what it is because they like it.)

A great men’s board short (in red/blue).

Another reason to get a spiralizer: these sweet potato fries.

Nashville cancels after 4 seasons. (I’ve watched them all, and do like the show, but it’s becoming increasingly cheesy, am I right? I’ll follow Connie Britton to wherever she goes next though… and Rayna and Deacon forever!)

Reeses Cups filled with Reeses Pieces are now a thing.

Olivia Wilde too old to play Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend?! The benefits of getting older.

Have a good one!

Anders, 17 months, top five.

Anders. What a joy. We’re through the weeds of teething (for the moment), after four new ones towards the back sprang through a couple weeks ago. Such a design flaw that these babies have to teeth, right? I’d be happy to puree my child’s food for a few years if we could push back the teething process. Heck, I’d be happy to puree your child’s food for a few years too to save you from the woes of teething. His personality shines through when his mouth isn’t in pain and it is the best. So, in celebration of the adorable blue-eyed baby that is my sweet Anders, here’s his top five. Heart-achingly adorable to a mother only, and I am the lucky person who gets to wear that title. It is my favorite title in the entire world and he’s my favorite 17-month old in the whole world.
one. When he discovers we’re leaving the house because he hears me telling Parker to get his shoes on (thirty-two times; you can’t miss it.), he’ll go over to the back door, find his shoes, sit down on the floor, and put them on which means he’s simply touching the shoe to his foot. Of course, it’s not getting on his foot, but does that stop me from feeling so proud of him? As predicted, the answer is… no.
two. This is a new one, and the best discovery: I began singing John Denver’s “Sunshine on My Shoulders” to him the other day (it’s sort of my sing-to-my-boys song if I had to name one.) and he kept shaking his head no. At one point, he even whimpered! It made me laugh so hard, that it made him laugh so hard, and became a thing. I’d begin singing, “Sunshine…” and he’d shake his head no, with a big smile on his face. It was so funny. Why do you hate my singing, Anders?!
three. Along the same lines, when he’s nursing, I ask him, “All done?!” He burrows his face deeper into my chest and shakes his head no with a smile on his face. We do it, over and over, and I can tell he thinks it’s really funny. Seeing his sense of humor is my favorite (and how much he loves it when I laugh too.)
four. Chasing him. Have I already said this? It’s so funny. When Parker chases him, it gets a little intense that he just shrieks ear-piercingly loud, but when I chase him he backs himself into a corner, and then gets super excited until I get him, or launches for me for a hug. Best.
five. I brought in Steve for this last one. He said, “I like his waddle.” “I like when he walks to me when I come home from work, hugs both my legs, and drops his head in between my legs.” I can attest, it’s really cute.
For you, Anders: We love you SO MUCH, buddy. Wherever you are one day reading this, will you come home and give us a huge hug? You give the best hugs, and I suspect we will love them for the rest of time and then some. We are so happy to be your Mom and Dad.

Traveling Abroad with Kids, Part 1: medicine, gear, school + more!

SCHOOL:
William and Lindsey missed school for September, October, and about half of November while we were abroad. Since Steve is familiar with the process of homeschooling (he and Shannon homeschooled for years), speaking with administrators at the school, figuring out curriculum, and just having a general knowledge of what one does in this scenario is second nature to him. He spoke with the superintendent of schools, and came up with a curriculum for the kids that was approved by them. William had to have actual credits which he did through the Virtual High School (Chemistry and Geometry), plus a Roman history/art/culture project that he turned into the school once back, and Lindsey had to follow a Steve-made curriculum, also including Roman history, etc., plus she was in contact with her teachers via email. It wasn’t very difficult for either, but it is certainly easier before credit hours need to be met (so, before high school). Once abroad, Roman history became the focus of most school stuff. Let me tell you, Steve knows his emperors.
GEAR:
We brought our stroller, and also got the second seat and glider board attachments before leaving. I remember Steve toying with the idea of leaving it behind and getting just an umbrella stroller over there. No way! That stroller is as much a stroller as it is pack mule. Its storage is unrivaled, and I knew we’d need that space. We bought the travel bag that goes with it as well, and by the end of the trip Steve and William could undo the stroller and pack it into that bag in under a minute. (It’s a very tight fit.) Is the travel bag necessary? Not totally, but I did travel without one once and the handle that you pull on to collapse the stroller broke off in transit (Airlines aren’t always the most gingerly with your things!). Luckily it wasn’t international travel when it happened, so I could have it easily replaced. I didn’t want to take a chance with the way I knew we’d be relying on this stroller (and with how unreliable the Italian postal system can be!). So the travel bag was peace of mind. With that said, it was a pain to schlep around when empty. It’s fairly large, and can’t be easily smooshed. The glider board was the unsung hero of the trip (scratch that; it’s probably William and Steve who let Parker ride on their shoulders for miles upon miles when he didn’t want to go on the glider board). At times, we did use the second seat too–especially when we went out in the evenings, or when I knew Parker would need a nap which he did on occasion (especially around travel days)–remember the picture at the bottom of this post?

I also brought two carriers: the Beco, and a Sakura Bloom. I used both a lot. Beco for more intense hiking/walking days and the Sakura Bloom for more off/on meandering days. He nursed in both, and I was grateful to have them along. I think both nursing Anders and wearing him made for easy transitions.We did not bring a carseat for Anders. With how little car travel we’d be doing (we took trains the majority of our time there), we knew it would be a huge hassle to have to lug a carseat all over Europe. But, I will say, it was something that, in a perfect world, I’d definitely have brought with me. We did rent cars a few times, including car seats, but they were never up to my standards. Meaning he was forward facing and they didn’t have a five point harness system which was crazy to me. I’m not sure if it varies from car rental place to car rental place or if it was a Europe versus America, but it was something I just had to accept if we wanted to go anywhere by car (which we did for various trips–Assisi, Positano, Peak District). I didn’t love it, though!

I got this bag for my camera and a few other odds and ends before leaving. I knew I’d need something to keep my camera safe from all the inevitable jostling but I didn’t want it to scream “camera bag!” That bag fit the bill. I still use it every day–camera or not!

We had this bag for Parker from my last trip to Italy when I carried it around; I’ve since passed it on to him. It’s great for a kid to carry, and it also can snap onto the stroller handle. It was his designated bag the whole trip (aside from his luggage) and he had it filled with toys from home, snacks on the go, etc.

MEDICINE + WELLNESS:

I took First Aid kit packing very seriously. We had this portable, collapsible cooler that I completely filled: thermometer, tons of Boiron homeopathies (for colds, for food poisoning, teething, arnica, etc.; particularly the ones that are in the tiny blue tubes–so easily packed! I’d keep them in my diaper bag too.), children’s Motrin, band-aids, Neosporin, elderberry, colloidal silver, EmergenC, essential oils. All of these things (most, anyway) can be found abroad, for sure, but I wasn’t sure how readily and exactly where.  I didn’t want to be needing them and then begin a search for them. Our first stop was Lake Como and a pretty small town at that. I am glad that we had these things instead of having to locate a pharmacy, and then rely on our spotty Italian language skills to get what we needed.

In terms of medical care and insurance while abroad, it’s easy. When we took Anders to the hospital, we showed our passports, filled out some minor paperwork, and have yet to see a bill. He was there overnight too! With fluids and tests! Socialized healthcare, ya’ll.

SLEEPING + JET LAG:

There’s no magical answer to the sleep/jet lag question. I think Anders was at a really good age to take this trip. I wore him a lot, and nursing is a tremendous help for an angsty, tired baby. I’d nurse everywhere. When we arrived in Milan, we were pretty exhausted but it was the afternoon there. After we checked into our hotel, we walked to the Duomo, got dinner, and then headed back for an early night. I remember being awake by midnight with a restless Anders, trying to keep him quiet in a pitch dark hotel room with Steve and Parker sleeping in the next bed (William and Lindsey had another hotel room). Plus, our sound machines (yes, I brought those!) didn’t work–ever. As soon as I tried to plug them in, with the proper converter, they were busted. Something to buy there if necessary. So, to reiterate, there’s really no magical answer. Just assume you’ll be tired, a little out of sorts, and order plentiful cappuccinos that Italy does so well! And drinks lots of water! I think that having some comforts of home is a nice thing for kids too. Like a stuffed animal or, in our case, a few of Parker’s favorite little cars, books, and a few of their favorite movies downloaded on the iPad with kid headphones.

On the plane, both boys slept really well. I’d attribute more of this to their personality than anything else. And Emirates Airline which was very accommodating! Anders got a little crib that attached to the wall in front of me which he slept in for probably three hours of the flight, maybe more. It was amazing. And after watching Cars 2, Steve got Parker cozied up with a blanket, a lucky extra seat in their row, and he fell asleep for the majority of the flight.

For naps, Anders got a lot of these on the go. Parker stopped napping long before we left so that wasn’t a worry. Anders was easy going about napping. Stroller and carrier naps were where it’s at. There were slower days in Orvieto or Switzerland where he would nap in bed at “home” and other days where we were consistently on the move. We didn’t bring a pack-n-play and that was, at times, annoying (though not as annoying as traveling all over with one would’ve been). My monitor didn’t always work, so I ended up staying in/near the room once he was in bed for the night. Not the most convenient. What I might do, if I were there for a long time, is buy a monitor over there (or a pack-n-play, or ensure that your place will have a crib available).

BATHROOMS:

Someone asked the bathrooms question, and I’m having a hard time recalling because I think we were pretty much issue-free here. Parker is good at letting us know when he has to go, and holding it when need be. Plus, there’s bathrooms around! Some may be dirty, but that’s where I’m grateful for little boys and their ability to stand to pee! And hand sanitizer!

We brought a lot of wipes with us but only enough diapers to get us through the airplane ride and then a decent chunk of time once there. Diapers abroad are just fine! We are used to Seventh Generation here, but had no rash issues with the brand over there. I think I just bought the generic Coop ones.

Part 2 to come! I know I’m missing a few questions. If you need one answered, please ask in the comments!

weekend links.

Playing outside on a nice day (what feels like ages ago–it’s been nonstop gray and rain here!). Anders loves being in the backyard. Loooooves. Hoping the sun might peek out on Mother’s Day… but the forecast isn’t looking promising. Happy Mother’s Day to all! 

I’m seeing spiralizers everywhere. Pinch of Yum just did a tutorial on them. Want zoodles in your life?! I’m looking at this one.

Powering the U.S. with solar power. Why aren’t we doing this?

Bad Moms trailer. A funny commentary on mothering today. Also, I love Mila Kunis. This might be funny or stupid; I’ll probably watch it (when it comes out) and report back.

This dress is perfection.

I love this hair series of Kate’s. I’m always interested in tried and true products. My issues: I want VOLUME. And moisture.

Chicken parm wraps. These look so good.

Clinton releases brutal anti-Trump ad.

Coconut oil shampoo bars??

These throwback Mother’s Day posts. I loved reading through the quotes: one and two.

Loving watching Lip Sync battles on YouTube. My sister told me about the Jenna Dewan/Channing Tatum one. Favorite.

I know some people are not into the romper trend but I am! This one would be perfect all summer long.

See you next week!

ten things i’m absolutely loving right now.



one. girls, as in the show. over the last few weeks i watched all of it from the beginning and while i thought some of it was far fetched, i really got into it. the marnie capsule episode made me super sad though.
two. anders’ face when he’s being chased. he backs into a corner–like above–and waits till we reach him or, if he can’t stand it any longer, lunges at us for a hug. it’s the best.
three. steve’s done classes for the semester! well, he teaches one online course, but is basically done! come on, summer!!!!!!
four. this palette. it’s my favorite. the colors are so pretty.
five. red geraniums in pots. i think i need a bunch for my deck. also, my grandmother always had geraniums in front of her ocean city house so they make me think of her.
six. french cafe on spotify. it’s so good.
seven. diffusing this orange oil every morning. in this diffuser. it’s a nice way to start my morning. plus coffee.
eight. google photos. another form of backup beyond dropbox (which i haven’t completed either). how many places do you backup before you feel like you can delete off your computer?! one million?!
nine. this swimsuit. nanette lepore has the prettiest colors and patterns.
ten. my black bean soup. also tonight’s dinner! sort of appropriate for cinco de mayo?

Family Friendly Guide to Boston with Chicco plus a huge giveaway!

Boston with kids! I have very positive things to say about Boston when it comes to traipsing around its beautiful, historic brick streets with children in tow. Very positive indeed. The more traveling I do, the more I realize that every city has its virtues. History! Art! Cobblestone streets! High rises! Really, really good pizza! Playgrounds ’round every turn! Not all cities have all virtues though. You probably remember me having a hard time in Rome specifically with children. Rome is magic. Rome with children… maybe a little bit less magic? Boston, I will admit, is a seriously kid-friendly city. I love our days when we head down there and run around the Garden, splash in the Greenway fountains, and end with some ice cream from J.P. Licks. I don’t feel like they’re about to get squashed by oncoming traffic–cars or people!
There’s a handful of things, very important things, that make our days in the city possible. Not only possible, but successful, really. Snacks and water, having a vague idea of where the nearest bathroom is, green spaces to stop and run around without (almost without) caution, and a stroller to hold it all. A few weeks back I explored the city with the newest Chicco stroller, the Viaro. The Viaro is super lightweight for those of you who have that as a priority. It also has a huge storage area–accessible from the front or back!–which is a must for me. I had a picnic blanket, jackets for the boys, snacks, waters, a baby carrier, and, at times, my camera bag all in there. It was also a really smooth ride with an easy one-handed turning ability. This is more important than you think! I’m often pushing the boys while talking on the phone or carrying a coffee, so being able to turn your stroller with one hand is awesome. Finally, the fold! You simply grab a strap that’s at the base of the back where it meets the seat and it’s folded!

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Things I buy at Costco, vol. 1.

costcooooo!!!!! is it just me or did costco recently become super in vogue? it’s not just me, i know it. we’ve been going to costco for like ten years (soooo ahead of the times, us hunts!) but i’ve never thought, until recently, that anyone would take a second glance at a post like this. i think it might be that costco is on the up-and-up with their products, offering more organic products all the time, and just quality foods in general. plus, it’s always changing. and those giant aisles?! you can’t beat it. in the dead of winter, costco is like a haven for mothers with small children. find an empty aisle and go crazy, kids! also, i didn’t even mention below, but the goods in the middle! the clothing and books! i just grabbed some volcom goods for william. $10 a shirt! those shirts otherwise are like $30. you can’t beat that price. anyway, i’ve had a few (two) people ask for a post on what we buy at costco, so here goes. the last time i was there my bill was a whopping $500 (i didn’t love it.). so, you can bet, there’s more of these posts to come. (and my apologies to those who aren’t members!! i won’t do too many of these posts.)
ghiradelli brownie mix//
you’ll never need to make brownies from scratch again. ever.
kirkland organic boxed chicken broth//
we buy a big box of this (more than one, really) and use it all winter long if i haven’t made my own broth, which is a lot of the time! soups, chilis, etc. 
aidells chicken sausage//
this apple-chicken sausage is newer to our costco and is really good. while it’s not organic, it is nitrate-free with no added hormones. it’s fully cooked, so warming it up is a cinch. i heat it in some olive oil or butter and then cut it up for the boys with some broccoli for lunch. or throw it on a skillet for dinner withs some peppers and onions and rice. top it with sour cream and cheese. mmmm.
snack factory pretzel crisps//
these are perfect for dipping in hummus, eating with cheese, or packing in a lunch. they’re also non-gmo. and the bag is huge and lasts forever, even in our family!
stretch island organic fruit leathers//
these are a total treat for the boys. think of them as an airhead for the healthier-minded folks. i stick them in parker’s lunchbox, or in my bag on the way out. they’re so easy to pack. 
kirkland meat lasagna//
kirkland’s meat lasagna is soooo delicious. not to be confused with their smaller sausage/beef one, i’m talking about the 6 lb. one. i am ashamed to say i’ve never made a lasagna–ever. but i feel like i don’t have to since this one exists. and even though it is technically frozen food, which i tend to stay away from, i’ve read and reread the ingredients and they are not scary at all: no msg, no soybean oil, etc. just things that actually belong in a lasagna. about once or twice a month on a busy evening, i make this. only downside–cooking time is almost 2 hours. plan ahead!
things at costco that we did not like: that chopped raw salad (chicory, brussel sprouts, kale, etc.) with poppyseed dressing. could be that i didn’t use all of the poppyseed dressing (crappy ingredients!), but to quote steve, “i feel like i’m eating weeds.” 
what are your costco favorites?!
also, if you’re not already following… the geniuses from the @targetdoesitagain account started one for costco. it’s @costco_doesitagain (clever) and it’s great. the only problem–you may go searching your costco like a madwoman for things they feature only to discover your costco doesn’t carry them at all. like i did with the chocolate almond butter tarts.

Motherhood has ruined me.

i remember this well. napping with parker, my belly big with anders. 
wondering how many more naps we’d have before anders arrived, 
and how many naps we’d have after. 
motherhood is both time consuming and thought consuming. 
i find total joy and total sadness in it daily. 
i want it to last forever and then i’m counting the minutes till nap time. 
i want to see what they’re like when they grow up but i don’t want another birthday, 
another milestone that pushes us further from the first time we met. 
my heart both bursts and breaks a million times a day. 
it is such a crazy head trip, isn’t it?
 
i shared this on instagram a couple weeks ago. i go through these periods of deep thought, and processing, and i guess i was (still am?) in one of those periods now. in fact, i probably have been for like… 10 years. i was just texting with a friend the other day, both of us feeling emotional about various things, when i wrote: motherhood has ruined me. let me elaborate. motherhood indeed has ruined me, but, i think, in the best way? it is the absolute best gig on god’s green earth and i wouldn’t change it for a hot second. but i now have this intense depth of emotion that is sometimes burdensome, beautiful, a gift, but also unbearable. hearing the news of a death of a young mother, watching a friend return home to her own little girl after being in afghanistan, imagining the day when my own home is empty of children… i feel these things on a different level than i used to.
on my best days, even the ordinary ones (especially the ordinary ones) where we pass time tickling and reading stories, and eating scrambled eggs together, i have this visceral longing of “please don’t let this ever end!” it is so good, so good, and i want it forever. knowing that it won’t, at least not in the way i experience it now, is truly hard to bear. motherhood brings me the most insane feelings of joy and love and i want to stick us all in a bubble far from all the pain of the world and just continue moving through our own special space in slow motion forever.
is that too much to ask?
i hope this is what heaven is like.
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