Tales of Me and the Husband

Judgement at the grocery store.

I try not to be a judgemental person.  But sometimes my mind just goes there, unbeknownst to the rest of me, and suddenly, I’m judging.  It goes something like this:

I do a lot of “cart evals”.

Beep.  Beep.  Beep, goes the scanner as the person in front of me readies herself to pay.
Soda.  Beep.
Doritos.  Beep.
WONDER BREAD?!?  Beep.
Non-organic beef.  Beep.
Twinkies.  Beep.
Cinnamon rolls.  Beep.
Frozen pizzas.  Beep.

I tap the woman on the shoulder (after already sizing her up and being quite sure that her house is a mess and that her kids must stay home from school sick quite often.  How couldn’t they?  Look at this junk!?).

“Excuse me, miss.  But do have you a thing against the periphery of the grocery store?  Did the produce offend?  Do you only peruse the middle aisles?”

Then I hand her the Omnivore’s Dilemma and she goes off, thanking me for the enlightenment as my “beep-ing” begins.

Apples.  Beep.
Whole wheat bread.  Beep.
Yogurt.  Beep.
Asparagus.  Beep.
Strawberries.  Beep.
Milk.  Beep.

That’s more like it.  Go me!

Shame on you, Bridget!  Pride is the biggest sin of all!

Disclaimer: I reguarly buy Tostitos, ice cream, and cookies.  Sometimes even potato chips – gasp!

Moral of the story: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone… ain’t that the truth?!

question:

this or that?
(and bear with me and my italy questions.
it won’t always be like this.
remember the old times?)

buon giorno!

i tried reading this three years ago and i just wasn’t into it.
i read a few chapters, put it down, and didn’t pick it up again.
i think, if i recall correctly, elizabeth gilbert annoyed me.
(don’t get me wrong, i am all about eatin’, prayin’, and lovin’).
since the julia roberts is starring in this summer’s movie,
i’m thinking maybe i’ll try again?
(i really like julia).
and on the topic of travel….
steve and i gots our tickets for italy.
can’t wait.
any other tips?
like say, both comfortable and attractive footwear?
a perfect backpack to bring?
the best travel guide to buy?
the cleanest toilets in rome?
the pizza we mustn’t miss while there?
the quietest corner in florence where steve and i can make out without being seen?

who doesn’t want some passion?

maybe you’re grossed out by this?
especially picture three where hubs is really trying to concentrate on a so-far unrequited kiss.
more than you wanted to see?  spectacular?  i’m going with the latter.
well, either way… too late.  here they are.
stolen right out from under her and her fancy blog.
(basically, didn’t have time for a post today so stole a bit of ahnika’s)

Oprah, I usually got your back.

Dear Oprah,
You know I always have your back.  Even with this no phone zone thing.  And the dolphins?  I got your back there too.  And girl, the texting, I sooooooooooo get.  Type and drive?  Stupid.  But no talking, not even on a bluetooth??  You might’ve lost me there.  Fine, all the chit-chat-what’d-you-have-for- dinner-last-night can be put to a stop, but sometimes we need our phones.  Anyway, the real problem is this and correct me if I’m wrong:  But, do you drive yourself everywhere?  I got a sneaking suspicion that you are hopping in the back of a big black Escalade and being dropped off where you need (maybe not all the time)–all the while chatting with Gayle about last night’s Met Gala (or other more important things; no judgement, Oprah… I love you).  So, are you signing this pledge for good ol’ Mike/Pedro/Randy your driver?  Is he now in the no phone zone?  Could you do me this… stay off the phone whether you’re in the front or the back seat?  Cause us common folk would really feel more camaraderie in this whole no phone thing if that were the case.  Ya know, we don’t have ourselves any drivers.
And please, if this somehow gets to you, let it not be the reason you finally invite me to the show.  Have you read my love story?  It’s much nicer.
Love always,
Bridget

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