Tales of Me and the Husband

There are a lot of things that mothers do.  They bake cupcakes for a big day, help out with science fair projects, go on field trips, remember important dates and all of your friends names, sew clothes and costumes and superman capes.

Well, my mom didn’t do any of that.  In fact, she wasn’t very conventional.  And yet, she managed to focus on the priorities.  She has given me a clear picture of just how big love can be.  Here are a few of the less-than-conventional lessons I have learned.

…that no matter what was for dinner, there was always room for one
more.

Growing up our house was full.  Sure we had four kids running around, but the “full” came from all of the extra folks.  Friends, cousins, grandparents, aunt, uncles, and co-workers were always welcome at our dinner table.  There was always room for one more.  This has probably had the most profound impact on my life today.  When Mark and I were first married, we lived near our college and frequently hosted the lacrosse teams for dinner.  Do you know how much food it takes to feed an entire lacrosse team?  We even hosted them down here in DC in our smaller than tiny apartment.  Today we live in an intern building and serve as RAs, frequently feeding college students once again.  And if you were to come over, you would see stocked cupboards that are equipped to feed an army, just in case I ever had the need.

…when throwing a party, go big but don’t sweat the details.

I wish I could invite you all to a family party.  They are always a riot.  Half the town shows up and the “extras” are nothing short of fabulous.  Growing up, we were the kids whose parents rented moon bounces.  At some point during my sibling’s high school years, my parents stumbled upon giant inflatable water slides {for a video click here}.  My mom is all about her guests having a good time.  With this influence, it should serve as no surprise that I have already begun researching renting a ball pit for Behr’s first birthday {being a germ-a-phobe, I have also considered buying one and then trying to sell it post-party}. Regardless of what we end up doing, it is the fun that creates the memories.

…the job can wait, but kids won’t.

Running a household with four kids {not quite five} is no small task, and yet my mom never sacrificed fun. It didn’t take long for her to rearrange her focus, shove the dinning room table out of the way to make room for a giant plastic play house on a rainy day.  My mom truly cherished moments with us as kids.  Even to this day, my mom mops the kitchen floor at 2:00 in the morning.  She isn’t worried about
someone walking on the wet floor, she just doesn’t want to miss quality time with her kids or grandson to come at the expense of a chore.

…the bottom line: make fun.
My mom may not have been conventional, but she cultivated a fun-seeking childhood.  She put family first and helped us learn true priorities.  I will forever be grateful.

The Hunt house is adding another mouth to feed, but I am pretty certain that they too always have room for one more.  Bridget has shown us a bit of her parenting repertoire and she has got her game on.  From birthday breakfasts to some slip and slide action, have no fear little babe, your mom is a blast!

Hello Bridget fans! I’m Candis and I write a blog called lady lee in process. Bridget is my long time blog friend and I am happy to be guest posting for her while she settles in with her new little love. YAY! He is here! We are all so happy for you Bridge! We were both pregnant at the same time for a short while. I was several weeks ahead and gave birth to my son Westley at the end of April. Here are some photos of us right after he was born.

When I was pregnant I read a lot about labor, delivery, taking care of baby and the like but inevitably there are some things I missed so I decided to write a post on what I didn’t expect things to be like after giving birth. Also, this is your TMI warning so if you don’t want to hear about boobs, blood, or poop skip this one.

1. VISITORS: I didn’t expect that we would need the first two or three weeks to ourselves. I am a social person and love being with people. But at this time, for me, visitors were overwhelming. I tried and tried to not let the stream of well-wishers push me over the edge because I realized they were visiting out of kindness and love, but honestly it was too much. The next baby we have I will let everyone know ahead of time that I love them so much and appreciate their wanting to visit but I will call them when we are all ready and that might be a few weeks from the time the baby is born. I think I’ll have an auto reply email and voicemail set up as well. From what I have heard from other Moms after the fact, not everyone is this way, but most are. It must be the cocktail of extreme hormones, vagina pain, exhaustion, and the overwhelming urge I felt to bond with our baby and not pass him around all day long that made me feel this way. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t feel like getting dressed for company (what will I wear over this huge, gelatinous belly?) or keeping the house clean. About 2 weeks in a I had a mini breakdown and realized I needed to put a short term stop on visitors. I got guilt tripped about it by some, and ended up guilt tripping myself as well, but now that I am out of the hormone haze and my va-jay-jay is mended I have the right mind to know that my instincts were correct and we needed intimate family time and there was nothing wrong with that.

2. POOPING: I didn’t know that pooping would be such an issue. Ladies, it was borderline terrifying. I only tell you this because I wish someone would have prepared me. After giving birth drink LOTS of water, up your fruit and vegetable intake, and take some metamucil and dulcolax daily. I wish somoene would have given me all that advice BEFORE I was weeping on the toilet feeling like I was pooping razorblades.

3. BLOOD: I had no idea how much I would bleed the first few days after. It was A LOT. Like fill up a pad the size of your bed pillow a lot. I had no clue there would be that much blood. The bleeding continues for weeks after and it’s a long process just to go pee for at least a month after that includes pads, squirt bottles, and sometimes even ice packs.

4. BABY LOVE: Because everyone tells you that you will love your child with a love you’ve never know the likes of before, I expected this. But goodness gracious, nothing can prepare you for the way it floods your whole being. I am not going to even try to put words to this love, I will just tell you that it will come and you will never be the same and I mean this in the best possible way.

5. PLEASED TO MEET YOU: Having a baby is loving someone and having an intense bond with a person that you don’t even really know. I think I expected that I would know our baby inside and out because I carried him for 9 months, because I loved him so much. But the truth is you get to know them more and more everyday just like any other person. I think this may be what makes being a parent so magical and beautiful. Loving someone with such ferocity that you hardly know is amazing and the more you get to know them the more your love grows (which doesn’t seem possible with how big it feels from the beginning, but it’s true!).

6. CRYING: I didn’t expect our baby to cry so very much. He cried a lot the first weeks of his life. If he wasn’t sleeping or eating, he was crying. And sometimes he would take a break in the middle of eating to scream. After doing some research I learned most babies between birth and 6 weeks cry a lot and there are only a small percentage that don’t. His cries induced such panic in my heart. Every fiber of my being would be screaming DO SOMETHING! HELP HIM! HE NEEDS YOU TO DO SOMETHING! And a lot of the time I felt helpless. The crying lessens, my friends. If you are in the thick of the crying right now know that it gets better. Know that you aren’t alone. Know that your baby is just as sweet and wonderful as your friend’s baby who seemed to never cry.

7. ATTACHMENT: I didn’t expect that it would take me 2 months to be okay with having our baby sleep in his crib at night instead of the bassinet at my bedside. I was the girl that was all like, “We don’t need a bassinet we’ll just use the crib from day one.” That all changed as soon as I saw his face. Honestly the first few weeks it was hard to not be in the same room as Westley. When we were in the hospital the first couple days after he was born I even hated when they would come to take him to the nursery for exams. I think it is because he was always with me everywhere I went and then all of a sudden he was outside of me in this big scary world and all I wanted to do was protect him.

8. HORMONES: I thought that the thrilling hormone roller coaster ride would be over after our baby was born. Boy was I wrong. Truly, the hormones I experienced during pregnancy were nothing compared to the first few weeks after Westley was born. The best advice I can give to women dealing with hormones after giving birth is to communicate. Talk to your partner and tell them your thoughts. Cry when you need to cry and give yourself the same grace you would give others. And some advice if you are friends with a postpartum woman, BE NICE TO THEM. No matter what. They are balancing a lot right now and need your love, support and grace. No judgement, no unkind words, and no selfishness allowed when it comes to how to treat a brand new Mama.

9. BODY: My tummy used to be flat and firm. I’m 11 weeks out and I still have a good amount of squish going on there and a faded brown line running down the middle. I had to buy my first one piece bathing suit because I realized I now have the type of body that people see on the beach in a two piece and say “Oooh no one wants to see that…” But the upside is the new suit is cute and when I’m  holding my beautiful baby in my arms the last thing on my mind is what I look like, and the first,  how very blessed I am.

10. HUSBAND LOVE: I didn’t realize that having a baby would make me love my husband even more. He is the only person on this earth that loves Westley as much as I do. He is the only person I completely trust with Westley and vice-versa. It is something that only the two of us share, this intense love for this little being, and it has strengthened and deepened my connection to him and my love for him.

11. BREASTFEEDING: Truth be told I thought I might feel a little weird breastfeeding. But from his first time nursing just moments after he was born it has felt like the most natural thing I’ve ever done. And it’s not weird. At all. It’s probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever done for another person in my entire life. I love feeding Westley. I love staring into his eyes has he earnestly and happily nom nom noms on some milk. I love that his little body and brain are growing and that I am part of that. It is hard to not contemplate love and God and creation when you are nourishing another life with your own. It’s beautiful.

So there you have it, 11 things I didn’t expect when I was expecting. Got any to add to the list?

Hello!

Bridget and I became *friends* not long ago, but since the moment we *met* sparks flew! We knew that with our combined sarcasm, cockiness, and lack of time, we were perfect for each other. Well, here we are a few weeks later and Bridget has got her hands full with (adorable, I’m sure) teeny tiny, crying, pooping, wrinkly, wonderful ball of joy, and I couldn’t be happier for her. New babies are the best aren’t they? Yes! I don’t think you’d be here, if you didn’t love families and babies too 😉

I’m Drea, mama to wonderful, beautiful, and stubborn: Marlowe. Mama to shedding patient dog-beast: Jerry. And in a complicated, but very loving relationship with partner: Eric. (Here’s a short version of the Eric story: Marlowe’s dad? Not wonderful. Moved 1,200 miles away during my pregnancy. Eric? Totally amazing godsend, better friend, father, and partner than I ever could have imagined.)

When Bridget asked me to write a post relating to motherhood, she wasn’t very specific on guidelines or details, I don’t work well this way. I go into panic mode and think of all these *brilliant* stories and ideas to share with you, then I panic again and think to myself “Alright, I’ve got it! Picture of my kid with the caption underneath ‘my kid is amazing’ and that’s it! Voila! Job is done!” Because, I mean, my kid is amazing…. extraordinary, probably the smartest kid alive, the most gorgeous for sure, hilarious, etc. etc….. but then again, so is everyone else’s kid. That’s part of what motherhood is. It’s knowing that your child is the most amazing thing that has ever existed— better than anything and everything that has come before or will come after. Motherhood is doing everything in your power to ensure you’ve got a warm home and unconditional love for your child, that awesome needy little thing. It’s pretty great.

Everyone’s mothering style is different. Our beliefs, our morals, our discipline is different. The way we show love is different. Our day to day parenting tasks are different. The way we organize our home to welcome a new addition is different.

For me it’s:

breast-feeding.

organic vegan food, made at home.

baby-wearing.

occasional co-sleeping (though I am trying to wean this at the moment).
(attachment parenting too)

cloth diapering.

bringing my daughter into my life and showing her new places as often as I can.

And turning my house into a home– a home that is enjoyable and pleasing for both of us (Jerry too).

Motherhood is different for everyone. Our mothering choices will always vary and work to fit in with our lifestyles. No matter how we do it, I think we can all agree: motherhood is amazing. And the most important thing you will ever do for you child is to make sure they feel unconditionally loved. I mean, your child is the most incredible thing to ever live, right? 🙂

Be sure to come come by ohdeardrea &say hello 🙂 Twitter too! Oh, and if you have instagram, find me there (ohdeardrea), I’m totally addicted 😉

i am bridget’s sister kate, four years older and sometimes not as wise.  i have a ten-month-old baby boy named quinn (parker’s future bff).  i can sometimes be found over here when i am not nursing or sleeping or tending to my husband’s needs (hahaha…that last one is HILARIOUS!).  

as you all know bridget decided to begin at the end…with teenagers instead of babies.  yes she has been a mom for quite some time now, even though her first four kids didn’t technically live in her uterus and she didn’t technically grow them each a placenta (you totally would if you could though, bridget.  of this i am sure).  bridget is the youngest of us four girls but yet she has the most kids and therefore she often has the most answers.  

“bridget, i need a good recipe for ground beef.”

“bridget, what do you use to wash your fruits and vegetables?”

“bridget, do i really have to sift flour?  i don’t have a sifter.”

and i am always hearing her stories about raising teenagers, how much growing boys eat, and how stinky their feet can be.  i will hear snippets of conversations.

“nathaniel just ate an entire pack of hot dogs.  by himself.”

“i told you a hundred times not to wear your shoes upstairs.  i don’t care if you are about to go outside!”

“get your dirty dishes from the family room!  or you won’t be able to eat there anymore!”

throughout bridget’s pregnancy, labor and delivery, and parker’s first few days of life i have been the one giving advice.  

“is it normal to feel [insert any random thing you felt during pregnancy that freaked you out]?”

“how did you decide not to circumcise?”

“when are you going to start vaccinating?”

my personal favorite: “my nipples don’t do that” as bridget watched me nursing quinn one day, to which i replied “they will” and laughed demonically (small fabrication here).  

skyping with bridget while she was in labor was absolutely priceless, seeing her rock back and forth and then get on all fours as a contraction came over her.  i was so proud of my baby sister in that moment, so in-control and so powerful.  

and now parker is here and i can’t wait to meet him.  silly bilirubin had him back in the hospital under the lights and had bridget a weepy mess.  but she was by his side loving on him so well, ready to pounce on any nurse that merely suggested that “now is not a good time” to come in the nursery.  

my top three rules for you bridget:
1.  treat parker as you want to be treated.
2.  wear mascara every day, even if you haven’t even brushed your teeth.
3.  put parker in the moby wrap all the time.  it will give him endless comfort and will give you confidence in yourself as a new mother.

the birth of baby jesus, the birth of your own child (i guess), and the birth of bridge’s baby.

oh, bridge…remember when we like didn’t know each other and we’d like timidly comment on each other’s blogs?? look how far we’ve come. i feel like i should be cutting the cord or something.

anyways, i’m super excited for this baby to come out. and since the woman of the hour asked me to talk about babies…i should probably get going.

so i have two babies. they are like 4 and 2 which means they aren’t really babies. but they used to be babies, so i know a thing or two about babies. and what i know… is that i don’t know anything. motherhood is the weirdest thing in the world. it’s like incredibly…. (just add any adjective you want at the end).

the first thought that came into my head when i held my first born in my arms, was….”wow, i thought he’d be blacker.” and then it hit me…i was this kid’s mother. i had no idea what i was doing, but somehow this little guy was totally dependent on me. magically, and i say magically, cause otherwise i don’t know how it happened, i turned into this caring, loving person. a person whose life was now devoted to making sure this perfect creamy angel was fed, kissed and cream and powder was put on his bum after every diaper change.

since that time, i stopped using cream and powder on bums. there are a lot of times that i forget to feed my children. but i sure do love the crap out of them. and i’m pretty sure they know it, which is pretty much all you can do.

love ’em and hold on.

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a note from bridget: kera didn’t leave a link to her blog in her post which is just a darn shame because ya’ll are gonna need to get to know more of this beauty.  thus, i give it to you: running mommy.