Tales of Me and the Husband - Page 134 of 207 -

June 12, 2012

bachelorette, part 5.

missed the first 8 minutes. again… parker’s fault!

date with sean.
+ her teeth are glowing as they walk through the london park, no?
+ “he didn’t know what big ben was?” -steve
+ good photographer? the whole stretched out arm thing? em, be more sparing with your compliments.

kalon, jef, and arie chatting back at the hotel.
+ kalon and emily’s kids would have some major pearly whites. too much.
+ jef wants a group date.
+ i didn’t hear what kalon said about ricky that got jef hot and bothered. dammit!

back to sean’s date.
+ emily’s voice is hoarse. whatchu’ doing behind the scenes, em?!
+ sean on the soap box (steve corrected me. speaker’s corner.). oh man. i’m embarrassed. i mean, he did a good job on the spot, i guess? but still. awkward town.
+ this date looks pretty cool. a date at the london tower?
+ “sean is totally my prisoner of love tonight” with a scratchy voice. sounding all sorts of raunchy, ems!

back at the hotel.
+ kalon’s had lip injections.

back to the date.
+ emily’s make up looks good.
+ “hi, i’m emily. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?”
+ sean and emily seem promising. a little yawn fest but promising nevertheless.

(can we just fast forward to the “get the f out” scene?)

group date.
+ meh. acting. i’m over these silly bachelor-meets-the-muppets-dollywood-acting-pretend-soap-opera things (that was a whole ‘lotta stuff i just said there).
+ doug’s cheesy in his big old “i’m a good sport, i can have a girl role, no problem!” thing.
+ whenever i see chris now… it’s all this.
+ i made an audible “ehhh” when i saw greasy kalon on the screen.
+ “you can run along.” (?!?!) i want to kick kalon in the balls sooooooooo badly. 2012, kalon.
+ doug. an attempt at making a funny with the girl voice.
+ ewww. kalon. ewwwww.
+ ryan’s got a total complex about arie. he’s too thrilled for arie to see him kiss emily.
+ i wouldn’t be into that if i were emily. the multiple kisses from ryan. (but she liked it? weird.)
+ abc zoom in on her and arie holding hands. that’s why they pay you the big bucks, eh cameraman?!
+ i’m starting to think ryan’s a little funny at this point. he’s weird and overbearing but sort of funny too? in like an overconfident, semi-obnoxious, but still sort of funny way?
+ the necklace. “out of his pocket and with no box!” -steve scoffs
+ i don’t even understand what kalon’s saying. ‘tired, sick mom?’ it doesn’t even make sense.
+ DOUG THE DAD DOES NOT LIKE TO HEAR KIDS REFERRED TO AS BAGGAGE.
+ it makes doug the dad swear! he doesn’t like that either! what if austin watches this?!
+ alright. commercial break. kalon’s getting his ass kicked when we return. i think he’s got a major holier-than-thou complex and i want to beat it out of him with one of his helicopter blades.
+ “hey guys can everyone sit down for a second?” serious LOL-ing. doug is calling a meeting. what is this? emily is like shut up doug let me handle this.
+ BOOM. bringing up kalon’s line. GO EMILY.
+ doug the dad trying to have a ‘single parents rally’ with emily. she wants to be alone. awkward and hilarious. (doug, when will you learn that being single parents does not a relationship make?)
+ kalon calls himself a stand-up guy? and i am a unicorn?
+ doug’s all, “WHY AREN’T YOU HANDING OUT THE ROSE? I TOLD YOU.”
+ camera zooming in on unfinished beers and a sole rose. DUH DUH DUHHHHH.

(this just in: dragons live in the buckingham palace.)

date with jef.
+ i’m digging his outfit (better than the socks thing that i somehow missed last week).
+ her ‘surprise’ for jef is a big can of ‘why didn’t you tell me about the baggage comment’ whoopass.
+ hahahaha. this english woman is cracking me up. “nooo no no nooooo. tea beforrrrre the milk!”
+ jef’s commentary is funny. “jean is really, really, really, really, really thorough.”
+ i don’t think either of them were digging that.
+ likening ricky to vintage louis vuitton… clever.
+ the london eye needs to dim their lights. this is a date, not a surgery.
+ i’m kind of liking the vibe of their date.
+ that dessert looks good and they aren’t even touching it. how much wasted food is on this show? i’d eat it.

cocktail party/rose ceremony.
+ who is this first guy? i don’t even know. travis! thank you for the banner across the bottom, abc.
+ arie in the hot seat! i dunno, arie. spinning this to be “all about us” as to why you didn’t tell her. i’m not so sure she’s buying it.
+ steve keeps asking what ryan’s wearing around his neck. i told him. SCARF, steve.
+ reciting romeo. ryan. i just don’t know about you. i mean, you seem like you mean well. you’re kinda goofy and weird. but you’ve got all these weird things about you too. i’m not coming down on either side. gimme a few more episodes.
+ sean and emily slow-dancing? to no music?
+ butterflies in her heart. yep, em. did sound cheesy. i’ll let it go.
+ wouldn’t it be funny if chris came in and all straight faced was like, “the show’s over. emily’s picked her man.” funnier in my head.
+ chris-ice-age-animal didn’t get any talking time this week.
+ arie did not like ryan getting the rose.
+ oooh. arie gets the last one.
+ alejandro’s exit was graceful.

bitches get to go to croatia. this is crap! ikea blankets! now the guys are just dying to stick up for emily. “someone! talk some crap about her! or ricky! so i can go tell her! gimme my chance!”

alright. overall i’m still on team arie & jef but i’m not DYING over anyone. sean’s nice but a little boring. (has anyone been watching since trista and ryan? cause i have. and i was DYING over ryan by this point eaaaasy. so, these guys gotta step up their game if they want to impress ME. WHICH IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.)

alright. give it to me. thoughts?

June 11, 2012

questions for you, reader!

so, i had this crazy idea!

(not really that crazy.)

asking some questions

of you!

yes, you!

i’ve done it before, but not real in depth.

so, let’s do it.

good?

i’ll answer too. to keep it real, ya know.

where you from?! where do you live now?

(i’m originally from south jersey (near philadelphia) and now boston-area!)

male/female? age?

(are there any male readers out there? show yourself! i’m 27. a girl. you knew that.)

how’d you discover my blog? long-time reader? new?

(most blogs i discovered through random internet clicking. maybe that’s the same for you, but otherwise, give it up!)

what do you do? for work? for fun?

(i’m a stay-at-home mom these days but in the past i’ve worked at a law firm + retail. what i’d like to do is more telling: writing! photography!)

are you religious? atheist? something in between?

(i might say i’m religious but i’m afraid of the connotations that go with it. can i say spiritual without seeming too hippy? i believe in jesus. i believe in grace, forgiveness, and life after all of this.)

what’s your favorite song? band? book?

(i couldn’t even begin to answer this! but you all know i’m a fan of paul simon, james taylor, fleet foxes, ray lamontagne…and the like. first book i ever fell in love with was prince of tides, but i’ve fallen for a lot more since…)

what’s your favorite vacation spot?

(in the northeast? lake winnipesaukee. the beach. anywhere? i love santa barbara, i love italy, switzerland, israel. basically any place. send me.)

what would you like to see more of on the blog?

(this is really a question for you. but give it to me!)

are any of you famous?

(i just KNOW ryan gosling is reading my blog! show yourself, ryan!!!)

(oh! anonymous commenting allowed today. eesh.)

June 8, 2012

big siblings are the best.

while i fear parker may develop a complex since every
little, teeny, tiny thing he does is met with a cheering squad…

it’s pretty sweet how much love is poured out on the little man…

and lately, it’s in the form of being pushed around on his little bike.

thank you william and lindsey!

(they are so good to him.)

June 7, 2012

lately.

lindsey played the part of laura ingalls wilder at school. it was actually seriously cool. i walked into the classroom to all the students in a circle, frozen in a certain position. they were dressed for the part (from harriet tubman, to jfk jr., to harry houdini…). to hear a short bio on the person, you walked up to their desk and pushed a button. they unfroze, gave their bio, sat down, and froze again in the same position as before. i loved it. jordan went to the prom! he and his date looked fabulous (i loved her dress), and the day was perfect for it. it was, of course, before the rain came and stayed for multiple days in a row (good news though… looks like it’s clearing out today!). we took william and lindsey out of school for a day and met up with friends of ours in boston (including rachael!). we walked all around beacon hill, hearing bits and pieces of its history from a friend of ours who knows it like the back of his hand.

and then… came the rains.

i wore a sweater! bleck! when we’ve already had 90 degree weather, it feels altogether wrong and strange to be pulling a sweater over my head… and i took the kids to the library (parker remained in pajamas for like 48 hours straight). we did some reading, lindsey did some more farm-planning, and steve took a few naps with the little boy. i love catching them napping.

and that’s the latest around the hunt house.

June 5, 2012

bachelorette, part 4.

alright. i missed the first 12 minutes (errggg!). i blame this one on parker!

so, here goes. she’s already into her date with doug. anddddd i begin.

doug.
+ i started a charity. (what he failed to mention is that he started the charity the day before he came on the bachelorette just waiting to drop that little nugget in emily’s sweet little blonde head.)
+ how many times can doug say the word ‘dad’ in five minutes?
+ scolding the boys? he’s so patronizing. scolding. boys. you’re not a dad here, dougie!

group date card comes out.
+ who is nate in the red shirt? i think they JUST brought him on like two minutes ago. never seen him before.

back to doug.
+ “as much as i love all of today… i love MY SON THE MOST.”
+ “my only imperfection. i didn’t trim my toenails enough. i didn’t wash her car enough. i cut my son’s crust off too perfectly. i read him too many stories.” PLEASE DOUG. CHEESEBALL. GOODBYE.
+ i’m winning this rose is for me and my son! my son! i have a son!
+ “if emily wants a kiss from doug…” talking in third person is a deal-breaker.

group date.
+ ryan’s hair is out of control. what’ll it look like after sailing? you krazy kat, ryan!
+ i hope the boom whacks kalon right out of the boat. while a shark is swimming by.
+ sean played football. so he can BRING IT to the boat like he BROUGHT IT to the field.
+ go team yellow (it’s got jef and arie… my faves.)
+ uh-oh. guys are cussing. team red’s in trouble. don’t they know the tortoise and the hare story? (if doug was their dad, they’d probably know it. i bet doug reads to his boy allllllll the timeeeeeeee.)
+ uh-oh, now team yellow’s in trouble. never mind. they win. phew. palms were sweaty.
+ is head-wound charlie crying in the back seat?
+ i like emily’s sweater.
+ ryan tries to pass chauvinism off as cute flattery. it ain’t cute, ry-guy-krazy-hair.
+ arie’s her fave, i think.
+ JEF. jef is just too cool. i mean, ems… i like you. but come on. it’s like the song, “i’m a little bit country. i’m a little bit rock and roll.” i don’t see it working. you’re going to dollywood, he’s going to coachella. you pickin’ up what i’m puttin’ down?
+ jef: “like, i like like you. like, i’m like nervous, but i like…”
+ ryan has concerns? like emily’s workout routine isn’t vigorous enough? “i not trying to impress you, i’m trying to make an impression on you.” he got that on motivationforcoaches.com, i think.
+ is ryan a tv evangelist now? this guy! so many hats!

two-on-one.
+ really. who is nate? where did he come from?
+ is this “kwin-oh-ah?” NUH-UH. THIS IS TOO GOOD. (it’s keen-wah new-to-the-show-nate!)
+ “what do you want me to know about you?” “i like fiber.” -nate
+ crying over his brother and friends? sweet, yes. a tad overemotional? YES. it was the wine.
+ nate’s eyes are boring holes into her skull as she pins the rose on jon.
+ nate’s psyched to get back to his bro.

cocktail party.
+ i can correct lil ricky’s homework in mah prom dress, check me out!
+ fake ponytail?
+ (it’s a prom ROMPER, bridget.) didn’t know till i saw the full-bod shot. my bad!
+ ryan is charming, athletic, blessed by god, AND sticks his finger in the socket to achieve that rockin’ hair style. ok, i’ll move on from the hair.
+ pony-tail guy. why haven’t we seen more from him?
+ ABC, did you hear that? ryan just signed himself up as next bachelor! and we’d all be so lucky!
+ doug-the-dad, stop tallllkkkking pleeeease.
+ doug and chris. hackles are up! doug is playing mind games! chris is goin’ crazy! this is ugly! chris doesn’t know what this fight he started is even about. “i’m not young! you’re too humble! I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.” and doug: “believe what?”
+ “you don’t get my competitive juices flowing, chris! you’re like a fly! i crush your skull.” (roll your r’s!)
+ biggest disappointment of this episode: helicopter guy is like a no show. come on ABC.

chris and emily’s chat before the ceremony.
+ YOU TWO SHOULD JUST GET MARRIED (did ya’ll hear? chris got a divorce.).
+ she picks up helicopter’s picture first? he’s like a non-entity.

rose ceremony. DUH DUH DUH (that was dramatic music).
+ chris looks like the tall skinny animal in the ice age movies. i don’t even know what animal it is.
+ ryan gets a rose? blah. that’s how i feel about that.
+ KALON GETS A ROSE? bright side: maybe he’ll talk smack again next week for our entertainment. but really??
+ i kind of feel bad for long-haired ponytail guy. he seems nice.

next week.
+ “i think you’re going to retract that statement.” -ryan
+ and f-bomb!

until then…

so? thoughts? give em to me straight!

(and if you do your own bachelorette recap, link to it in the comments! i wanna see!)

June 4, 2012

fourth grade drama.

lindsey’s in fourth grade now. william’s in sixth. i remember william in fourth fairly well–after all, it was only two years ago. it wasn’t terribly memorable in that no big drama went doooowwwwnnn, but i remember bits and pieces nevertheless. that’s a part of my job description. remembering the bits and the pieces. one of those bits that stands out is his nerves. he is one nervous fellow, that william. he’s just one of those types who likes to fit in, to be liked, to wear the right clothes, not entirely comfortable in his own skin. lindsey, well, she’s so different. she’s more like nathaniel. the two of them, for the most part, walk to the beat of their own drum. i cheer this trait on, usually. wearing what she wants to wear, doing what she wants to do, happy to be, well, herself. she doesn’t overthink things.

now she’s in fourth grade. and i will say, despite her whole, “this is me, take me or leave me” stance on life, fourth grade has its share of drama. ho boy, does it ever. i mean draaaa-ma. you’ve got to say it like that. really emphasizing each syllable, drawing it out like so: DRAAAA-MA!

william used to come home from his fourth grade day. it’d be something like this: i’d ask, “how was your day?” he’d respond, “good.” “anything interesting happen?” “nah.” “want a snack?” “ok.”

now ready for a pendulum swing? hold on tight! lindsey comes home. “how was your day?” “well! betsy* told us that we stole her song and then she said, “talk to the hand!” and then the teacher yelled at us! and then lizzy said ‘it’s totes obvi that you guys stole our song.’ and then at recess i didn’t want to practice our dance, so sybil got mad at me! and then i went to swing and they told me i wasn’t in their group anymore. and then mary told me and rachel that she was rating our wardrobe and that we got 3 out of ten. and i just told her i didn’t care and then i went to play on the monkey bars. but then heidi came and said that i could jump rope with her only if i switched seats with her at lunch. and can i go to a sleepover at kiki’s house this friday night?” and i’m just now interjecting for the first time (just making sure you’re following), “same kiki you got in a fight with last week?” “yep! that’s the one!”

her daily breakdown of the day could make your head spin.
it makes mine spin every day.

girls and boys. they couldn’t be more different.

and speaking of girls and friends and non-friends and fighting and drama… here’s a little ditty she made up with her friends. it was a group thing. till they got in a fight and split up. like the backstreet boys?

warning: it’ll be in your head all day.

*fake names and mostly fake story. you know.

June 1, 2012

some friday ramblings: proposal videos, skirts, the time magazine cover, + more.

+ i don’t like being referred to as ”sweetie.” pet names in general aren’t my thing. particularly by men or by people my own age. i mean, i really don’t like it. i’m kind of surprised at how much i chafe against it, in fact. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. next time it happens, ima slap somebody.

+ i trust you’ve all seen this video by now. for the love of god, if you haven’t, watch it immediately.
and if isaac and his fiance happen upon my blog, PLEASE INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING.

+ some of you asked about my skirt in this post. i tried to find it, but alas, could not! though, i’m digging sooo many of forever 21’s a-line skirts this season (where i got mine!). here’s a few more favorites.

1 // 2 // 3

+ i don’t like when store cashiers ask, all blasé-like, “what’s your e-mail address?” as you finish making your purchase. not, “can we have your e-mail address so we can put you on our ‘we-send-you-shit-you-don’t-want-too-often list?” i mean, they should be asking if you’d like to get on that list instead of acting all ‘gimme your e-mail’ as some prerequisite to handing you your shopping bag.

+ on twitter yesterday i caught wind of a les miserables movie coming out next winter! starring anne hathaway, russell crowe, and hugh jackman. this makes my classical-loving husband very happy. you want to see the trailer?

+ a couple of you asked my take on the time magazine cover. i know! old news at this point. nevertheless here’s what i have to say: to each his own. i don’t care that she’s still breastfeeding her older son (in fact, i checked out her blog and she seems like a pretty down-to-earth mama. did you know she adopted a boy from africa and breastfed him too? whatever you think about her, that is pretty cool.). what i do care about is how they portrayed it. him standing on a stool, her hand-on-hip stance, the incendiary title “are you mom enough?” to be sure, their nursing is far more nurturing and intimate than the photographer showed. but, i get it, they wanted to sell magazines. whatever. but here’s a question: when will the media stop trying to pit women against each other?

and that is all.

have a fabulous weekend. i mean it!

May 31, 2012

lately.

Save Me by Gotye on Grooveshark

we had visitors! nathaniel returned home from college! we went kayaking! we made cars out of boxes–and, believe it or not, all that entails is six construction paper circles: two headlights, four wheels! you’re gonna wanna pin that shit! parker plays bach on the piano! i eat granola and berries!

are we over the exclamations yet? really, it’s been a nice start to summer for the most part. i mean, college re-entry (re-entry to the world of kitchens that don’t have staff to clean your dishes) has been… interesting? we went kayaking together. while there, william tipped the kayak with lindsey on it and we lost snorkel goggles that, i’m pretty sure, hadn’t even been on anyone’s face yet. i told william i’d get him a medium pinkberry (instead of a small) if he found ’em but the murky crud at the bottom of the lake proved too great an opponent so there they remain. and yes! we had pinkberry. turns out, they are popping up all over the place and we’re glad to have one nearby. we had kate, mike, and quinn come and stay. a few days earlier parker caught his first cold (plus croup. and it sucked.) but kate decided to come nevertheless and hoped quinn wouldn’t catch it. while they were here, the cold and cough moved onto lindsey (william started it!) and then quinn got a bit of a fever. steve and i referred to our home as ‘bleak house’ where disease crept from person to person. i’ll say this much: i was never far from an antibacterial wipe. remotes, keyboards, and handles all got the treatment! so, all in all, it has been a nice few weeks, despite a few dips here and there. and, get this, jordan (he’s alive!) goes to prom tomorrow night!

oh, and that song? so good. it’s been on repeat lately. enjoy!

May 29, 2012

bachelorette, part 3.

last week’s bachelorette recap was a bit jumbled. hard to follow. this week is more organized. you’re welcome.

a date with chris.

+ all this, “there’s no one i’d rather be here with” talk. come on. you’ve spent all of 3.8 minutes together in your life.

+ he’s 25. awkward. (he looks a lot older, no?)

tony’s phone call.

+ you’re not meeting your future wife. you can go home to your kid. now.

back to date with chris.

+ she’s into him.

+ he wants a family. he’s a 25 year old guy. this is funny.

+ (he is cute.)

+ “keep the tongue in while you’re spinning her.” -steve

+ kissing her is the greatest thing he’s ever experienced? EVER, chris? i’m sorry.

+ here come the charlotte crowds. the l.a. crowds are better dressed.

group date.

+ i like the green/white striped blousey shirt. i do not like mc-stevie.

+ crazy hair ryan is getting chummy with her all “we already had a date and i’m heads above you guys.” obnoxious.

+ no offense to emily’s friends, but they don’t look like they’re… how should i say this… young fashionista whipper-snappers like herself.

+ “taking my son to school. taking my son to activities.” tony. barf.

+ i want one of the guys to say, “HELLS NO” when asked if they are ready to be a dad by one of the friends.

+ john “wolf” is cute. his name, less so.

+ jersey steve is not gonna be able to break dance his way through every rose ceremony. and hopefully he’s already seen his last.

+ i think emily’s blonde friend would like to have a swingers-relationship if emily and sean end up together.

+ more kids? i’m not watching supernanny. i’m watching the bachelorette. WHERE ARE THE HELICOPTERS?

+ sean. doug. sean and doug. friends’ picks. WHAT ABOUT JEF? (and i-have-a-kid-too-doug is stupid.)

+ sean needs a clean & clear oil-absorbing sheet on his face.

+ “you can drive a stick shift?” really, helicopter man?

+ emily should send tony home. she knows she’s not gonna pick him and he misses his kid.

+ i think tony’s gonna be home before 9 weeks. with all due respect.

+ emily’s hoping tony leaves voluntarily so she doesn’t have to do it…. annnnd, he’s out.

date with arie.

+ why are all the girls on the bachelor/bachelorette always such wusses? scared of heights, scared of rollercoasters…

+ win something for ricky. that was cute.

+ i like emily’s boots. and her hair. a little more cas (as in casual) than her ush (as in usual) curls.

+ to state the obvious… dolly parton’s boobs are ENORMOUS.

+ i am impressed that arie was doing the dad-thing with his ex. and he seems like he’s not whoring it out there (#doug).

+ she welcomes the busy schedule… likes her own space… she said that a bit too eagerly.

+ i hate the cliffhanger ‘but’ — messing with him. why?!?

+ i am glad he is getting a rose.

+ arie’s a keeper.

rose ceremony.

+ her and kaelen! let her say something! this is so awkward.

+ um, holy shit. “i love it when you talk but i wish you’d let me finish.” goodbye. deal breaker.

+ THAT WAS GOING TO BE A BABY OSTRICH. #animalmistreatment

+ brazilian man has goofy hair. and he should be biting her language-barrier-bait. “YES. I MEAN WHAT YOU MEAN. LANGUAGE BARRIER, YES. COMPROMISE, HONOR, SYNONYMS.” but… he’s not.

+ was she wearing black boots under that prom dress?

+ arie gets to be the knight in shining armor. he’s all, “right place at the right time, aww yeah!”

+ sean. saying alllllllll the right things. “ricky would be mine.” BOOM. “doesn’t have to call me sean.” BOOM.

+ doug’s eyes look on disapprovingly as jef gets a rose. “i don’t know, ems. would he make a good dad? i would. I AM ONE.”

+ kalon/kaelen seems like a character from a movie. the villain. a little like scarecrow in dark knight, am i right?!?

+ kaelen got a rose? you have GOT to be kidding me.

+ sorry mc-stevie. your time has come. break dance to the car?

+ sorry, ryan. arie is not dainty. he may be many things but dainty?

+ “i am a gypsy. i can’t even have a pet.” i think it’s best that brazilian man is gone.

alright. thoughts?! fave guy so far? my picks: hipster jef (though, i do think they’re so different. i mean, she likes dolly parton, he rides skateboards. come on.), wannabe-dad sean, race car driver arie.