ohhh blogging, you funny thing you.
there’ve been a lot of posts on blogging lately: how-to’s, change + growth, making money, finding your niche, sponsorship, and more. in an attempt to add a new one to the discussion (though, maybe not new?), i’m going to do a post of my own. so there!
i’m going to call this one: oops, you’re in a niche and you didn’t even know it?
as both a blogger, and a blog-reader, i like to think i have the whole scoop on a blogger’s life. i like to think they’re giving it all up, telling me everything. if i see them instagram a plane wing from an airplane seat without having announced prior – on their blog – that they were going on a trip i think, “hey! wait! where are you going? you didn’t tell us!” i’m not sure why this is, but i suppose in this world of voyeurism via blogging, we want to believe we know the blogger personally and that our thoughts, assumptions, judgments are pretty spot-on.
no doubt, sometimes the readers do have it right. some bloggers give a lot up and are pretty transparent in their blogging style. good for them, i say. i don’t think i’m one of them. i think maybe i used to be? or at least more than i am now? i know without a doubt that i used to hit publish without thinking twice about it. i suppose that’s natural. the course of blogging is a funny one. we all start small. and then you see more comments and page views. it continues growing and you’re really psyched about it but there is definitely a momentary “shit!” about privacy and the things you might not want to blog about anymore. then, you get your first not-so-nice comment. and you think, what?! i didn’t mean anything by that! when i started, i’m pretty sure my only readers were my friend ahnika and my sister kate. i blogged so freely and innocently without a care in the world. (picture me and my computer, frolicking in a grassy meadow somewhere.) these days? i think more about hitting that publish button (and goodness knows, i am not one of the queen bees of blogging by any means.). but, without a doubt, i’m glad to have you all along for the ride on this previous party of…. three. the bright side of thinking a little harder before hitting go? i think i’m a better blogger now. i think i used to just shoot out whatever i wanted just to post five times a week and a lot of it was sort of junky? you may like old bridge, but, i dunno, i side-eye some of the things she used to post. anyway, sometimes it all bums me out, my fear of being transparent, being judged. i tell you what, it can suck the joy right outta blogging faster than you can say blog. cause one thing is for certain, those transparent posts are the ones that you guys resonate with the most. i love when the comment thread sort of takes on a life of its own and you find so many commonalities and shared feelings going on. it’s those times that i fall in love with blogging.
i’m getting side-tracked. as someone who is both a blogger and a blog-reader, it’s interesting, the whole discussion. i know first hand how little one can put out there (if i had to put a number on my own? gosh, that ain’t easy. but it’s less than 50% fo sho) and yet i find myself often assuming i know other bloggers based solely on their blog. yep, guilty! i’m using the term loosely but i’d say it’s a little dangerous? stereotyping and assuming and all that when none of us have the picture filled in. i guess i’m anti any sort of black-and-white thinking entirely. be it within religious terms, political terms, and even blogging terms. gray, gray, gimme the gray. it sort of dawned on me, somewhere along the way, that some people have maybe put me in a niche? that you’ve thought, “hey wait, she can’t post about that. she’s posted about this and this and this already. off with her head!” for instance, i’m pretty sure some of you might think me a “crunchy yogi who smells of patchouli” (stealing the words of my friend). i wrote that last bit as i wiped the potato chip grease off my cheek with a stray baby wipe. it’s like, as the blogger behind the blog i have the whole scoop. of course i do, i’m me. i know that i struggle with a love for junk food but still adopt all homeopathic remedies when said junk food gives me a nasty cold. but you only know what i’m putting out there. so maybe one slips into a niche unknowingly? it’s way more interesting to share about colloidal silver than it is “hey guys, i just ate a pint of haagen dazs.” who cares? but if i have a few tricks up my sleeve that maybe allow you more junk food on the back end, i want to share ’em! but heck, mod-er-a-tion is the name of the game. i ain’t perfect. move over hummus and carrots, pass me the chips.
{the picture is a joke. i don’t foresee 56 more parts to this series but i could prooobably wrangle ’em together if i tried.}
Okay first of all… I love reading what you have to say. You have a way of writing that makes it feel like you are talking directly to the reader making it feel very personal and I love it! Second… I'm totally guilty of the same thing… but I won't lie, I do love when a blogger surprises me and posts about something I didn't think fit into their appropriate niche. I think that is what I love about blogging… it is your space and you really can write about whatever you want!
thank you dawnelle!
gosh I struggle with this so much. i love you.
xo 🙂
You can write about whatever you want but I sometimes feel like I can't talk about certain things because it doesn't fit in my blog and it's pretty annoying. I even started another blog because of that !
So yes, I think we're all in a niche and maybe it's a good thing because it makes for more "cohesive" blogs.
that's true on the cohesive front. though, i'd say this blog is all over the place! perhaps some people would give that big 'ol thumbs down!
I"m glad to know you eat junk food! 😉 I always enjoy your writing, and your pictures! So, whatever the 'niche' is—keep with it! xoxo
Wonderfully said and thank you for sharing this! I just started journaling again {something I did before I started blogging} and just wrote a post about how much I don't share on my blog. When I journal and I know no one else will read it, all the good stuff comes out. But blogging I do share only a part of my life. And I thought, "Heck why don't I share all the good stuff?"….if I did I am pretty sure I would be kicked off the interent {not sure if that can even happen?!?}
internet po-po comin' after you, rachel!! 🙂
i say, share it!
I totally know what you mean…nobody is perfect, nobody fits in a box with their edges and quirks tucked in neatly. I'm the same- ice cream lover, yet for the most part my husband and I eat as healthily as we can. I love the outdoors- hiking, parks, sight seeing around whatever town we're in- but it's way too easy to to whittle away hours on the computer. Paradoxes, all of us!
Your blog is always nice to read and your voice is refreshing. Thanks for keeping it real 🙂
Love this… really interesting and true discussion. It's soooo easy to think you know someone through a blog. But it's a pinhole view, for the most part. Especially when it comes to hard/negative things in a person's life. You may see all the great, but just a pinhole view at the hard and the real or the less-attractive or brag-worthy. Blogging is weird.
true! i remember when i was first a blogger i definitely played the comparison game always comin' up short. then i discovered that was just blogging in general – women putting their best foot forward. it took me awhile to really GET that.
This is such a good point…and it makes sense that we get sucked into mostly posting the good stuff (I think it's healthy to focus on the positive), but I always smile when I see a picture-perfect blogger let herself go a little :). Making sure we're reflecting reality I think goes a little ways in combating the competition – intentional or not – that blogging can further.
http://www.anna-bird.com
really appreciated your thoughts on this – and hey, i would have totally looked forward to 56 more of these! 😉 btw long story short, i had heard of your blog for a very long time now but it wasn't until this weekend that i read through your love story and your blog. just wanted to say i loved every bit of it and felt like i was reading a novel! thanks for sharing and looking forward to following more of your adventures!
56 more coming up!!!!
thank you for reading that ish. that is LONG. 🙂
i love this post bridgett. so thoughtful and so so true. sometimes i wonder what niche i have been thrown into as well? and i am completely guilty of feeling like i "know" all of a person when all i know of them is there blog and social media. i think it's important to give perspective and remind ourselves that these blogs are only a glimpse 🙂 and ps – so glad to know you eat potato chips!! xoxo
such a glimpse! a piece of the puzzle!
love me some potato chips.
thanks denise 🙂
Oh boy, just left a loooong comment and then realized it didn't publish. Argh! Hate that. Anyway, what I said was… this post is so true for me right now too! For so long I usually only posted about my kids, and now with my new job, I'd like to expand it a little more and write some design posts as well. I feel like my readers are confused because they want to PEG me into one category (or maybe I'm just making that up!). Either way, it's a hard thing to figure out.
About the privacy thing, ah man. That's so hard. I'm not going to say the rude comments don't affect me, they do. I feel the same, that with less readers, I was much more open. I liked it and I know readers liked it too. But with the addition of the twins, some complexities with them, and myself going on, I've become more guarded. I'm trying though every day to put a true version of myself out there.
YES. i'm like, "i'm a blogger! sort of a mom blogger (probably one of the more appropriate assumptions is that one!)! who likes doing fashion posts from time to time! and homeopathy! but also junk! and sometimes recipes!"
maybe i'll throw in some fitness videos… some DIY and crafting… really mix things up?
i think it's mostly strange because sometimes i feel like people take me and this blog more seriously than i take myself?? but i suppose they don't know how i take myself. so everyone, announcement: bridget does NOT take herself seriously.
thanks chelsea 🙂 i like your blog. a little bit of everything. keep on keepin' on.
In general, I think we post the 'highlight reel' rather than the 'behind-the-scenes'. Part of it's privacy related (oh this world we live in) but I also think it's simply more fun to post the good stuff. Blogging (reading them and writing them) can be a nice escape from the not-so-good – which is always there, no matter who ya are. I guess I just remind myself that I can't judge myself in comparison to your (awesome) blog or anyone else's because it's just a snapshot of that person's life.
But it is easy to get caught up in the increasing number of page views and so forth.
I think your blog is entertaining and keeps it real, and I love following along. 🙂
-Amy
thank you amy!
I really enjoyed this post, Bridget! I agree that sometimes I think I know the ins and outs of a blogger simply because I read the paragraph or two of words that she types into a box (not to mention, the not-so-lovely parts of life can be so easily deleted from that little box). It's definitely a slippery slope, but sort of wonderful, too. We develop relationships and friendships based on what that person is willing to share and, if we're lucky, it can grow from there.
As for the niche, I've always kind of felt like you were in the 'Bridget' niche. You've always been pretty open and honest about trying things the natural way, but not really beating yourself up about it when you wanted that pint of ice cream so by golly you ate it! And occasionally you throw in an outfit post or a post about a family outing. I'll come back for all of them because you seem genuine about the parts of your life that you do choose to share. That's what's important to me! XO
thank you roxanne!! i'd like to remain in the bridget niche! anything goes 🙂
xo
So I'm a little guilty of reading many of your posts (Parker's cuteness definitely had something to do with it, along with your humor + honesty) and not commenting–maybe it's because I was intimidated by a big blogger like you? I don't know. But I do know that I LOVED reading this post and agree with all of your thoughts. And I loved that part about being a blog reader and thinking we know everything about the blogger, I'm guilty of that one for sure!
Anyway, I look forward to your next blogging post (as it seems all your other readers are!) and you can bet I'll be commenting more now that I've broken that commenting fear. 🙂
glad you came out of hiding, kiki!!!!!
My father-in-law reads my blog. I think that's caused me to sensor myself more than I would like … I guess I could do one of those warnings at the beginning!? Hmmm.
ah yes. there are some people who read my blog who i need to censor myself for as well. it's a bit of a bummer sometimes, isn't it? i'm gonna start an anonymous blog and AIR ALL MY DIRTY LAUNDRY. 🙂
I can't see my blog working it's way into a niche, but maybe it happens in a sneaky way? I try to not post too many recipes because I'm not a "food blog" but I should stop caring.
i think it happens in a sneaky way for sure 🙂 and cheers to not caring! i think we all (myself included) need to care less.
why is this a series? I want it all right now right right now.
selfish,
g
grace marie, you'll have to learn some patience.
(grace marie. sounds so formal. CAMP PATTON.)
ahhh…the early days. i remember them well.
big indeedy from me.
I wrote a post that covers some similar ideas (if you don't mind my linking) : http://www.babyspace.net.au/2013/03/pondering-how-to-read-blog.html
personally, I kind of lose sleep worrying about such things. not the niche stuff, the grey stuff.
the biggest concern of mine in this area at the moment is influence. of course I want peeps to read my blog, that's part of why it's out there! but then I worry about the responsibility that comes with people listening to me. (arrogantly assuming they would, I mean.)
there is real stuff going on in the world, real problems! but all that happens over on my blog is sunshine and light and I would hate for any reader to think that that is all I stand for, or worse, that I think that is all *they* should stand for. but having written that I can see that I should give them, and myself, more credit.
we all need rainbows and unicorns sometimes. and I love other blogs with their prettiness! they're inspiring and relaxing. it's not real life: it's a blog.
phew, that was a bit on an essay wasn't it?
nice post bridget!
I love it. None of us want to be placed into a box and with having ADHD and OCD my box is more like a circus. As of late I've realized (while starting to blog again) that I've changed and my writing shows it. Today I've posted a 'real' post realizing that I've been avoiding what I really want to write about; hence the "change" in the me I portray. Contradiction to your personality and even moods that vary are what keeps us real and able to relate to the different readers out there. For instance I'm a hummus and Fritos kind of girl… now what niche does that put me in? (wink) I love how you relate with your readers and the realness of it all. Your writing style and what you chose to write about should always remain the true you… that's what I'm loving about reading your older posts (because I'm knew here) as I creepily scan through your archives!
With that sad little admission I'll tell you to keep spilling your guts… whatever they might be!
i think its easy to accidentally get into a niche with blogging; it is impossible to share everything about ourselves, or when some do i sort of cringe with the TMI (i might be guilty of this). It is one of the things i fight really hard against…i never want to be pigeonholed as a "type" of blogger, but sometimes i wonder if that is limiting in itself. I am definitely not a travel blogger (although i really should have worked that one to get some free trips or something..) I am an expat blogger but that is not all i talk about…i try to stay away from take any die hard stances politically, spiritually, etc as i feel like that is a bit more private (at least for me for now) but it would be easy if your life was so much about one of the above that you would then find yourself in one specific niche. I just think it is important to have an open mind when it comes to bloggers and try not to judge them too harshly if they stray from what WE as the reader thing is THEIR norm.
AMEN to that last sentence especially.
TRUTH. all of this.
For awhile, I wrestled with the whole 'niche' of blogging and started asking myself 'who AM i in this whole blogging world?' ..I know, SO deep.. HA, but so not helpful because it always left me feeling a little paralyzed on what to write next—especially when I started thinking in categories and timelines and all that biz-naz. And feeling paralyzed in writing? I knew something was wrong there.. it's because that all is just NOT MY THANG.
SO I guess I'm all for making your own way in blogland. I find that I'm more drawn to people who are doing that anyway. When somebody ONLY posts about one certain topic, I get a little bored. Do I go back when in need of info pertaining to that specific thing? TOTALLY.. but I don't really want to read about it daily? Not really (well, unless it's food..I'll read about that daily, snort snort).
Bridget, I love this post. A lot.
thanks katie!!