eric. first one on one. also known as “the guy who will always be able to one-up you.” i mean, bring him to the beach and he’s like “i’ve been to the beaches in thailand, australia, and, just last week, cape town.” helicopter? i did that yesterday. flew it, actually.
commercial break:
question: could that deanna/salon chair commercial have been cheesier?
answer: no
and we’re back. “mountains? pretty cool but have you seen k-2?” alright, enough with those jokes. louis-snowboard-instructor reminds me of the stoner in clueless. cannot remember his name–in clueless or real life. andi sounds like she has a cold. right? he lists piano as something he’s bad at? come on. they’re talking about syria. i could probably listen to him tell stories for the rest of the show. and it’s all making me sad. he’s talking family, kids. are his parents watching this? his family? gosh.
alright, we’re not going down a sad-path.
group date. they are sooo glad they all worked their pecs and abs before coming on the show. has cody worked as hard on his brain as he has on his body? time will tell. also, his biceps are twice the width of his head. i’m uncomfortable watching marcus hump the floor. robot is reminiscent of yo gabba gabba. not sure that’s what they were intending. craig. obnoxious or funny? (the answer comes later, as we now know.) not sure yet. josh m. has a lot of teeth. more than the average person. some of the guys are getting awfully into this. did they even get liquored up before this????
she looks really pretty. also, i like that she’s saying it like it is. “you’re not shy.” craig’s getting messy. and saying a lot more words than anyone else. at least eight times the amount of words as anyone else.
chris looks a little brad womack-ish but if you squished him down a few inches by pushing on his head.
craig. oh, sweet craig. killing your chances one shot at a time.
opera singer looks like guy on castle. i like marcus BUT he reminds me of rich guy who arrived via helicopter on emily’s season.
chris. sort of dressed like an easter egg. outfit change. perfectly placed 55-years-together couple next to them. ….and then they get deep in interviews. well played, abc. perfectly casted. “here for the right reasons.” vom vom vom vom so much vom. nice guy, but… i don’t know. i’m meh about this date.
chris got first kiss. should’ve gone to eric.
andi likes her boobs. i don’t blame her, but i mean, she does.
#ya’ll #allya’ll
marquel. terrible outfit. floral tie, plaid shirt, striped socks. he’d be in that back section of usweekly for sure.
cody’s hair needs its own hashtag. strangely asymmetrical.
craig. you’re the sweetest guy ever. couldn’t get over it. but sweetest guy ever. hmmm?
also, i also live tweet. perhaps some repeats of the above. come on out, monday nights! @itsahuntlife over there.
so, yeah, we’re doing this. bachelor-blogging again. my apologies to those who don’t watch the show… and yay! to those who do. now gimme your commentary.
This is hilarious! I'm missing The Bachelorette for the 3rd year running because we live overseas and don't have cable. Maybe I'll fall back into it when we move back to the States this summer? We shall see!
beccagarber.com
With not fashion this season, I'm struggling a little with what to write. Love your recap. Perfectly hilarious.
How could you forget Travis Birkenstock's name?! I didn't watch but I had to comment, your commentaries are great even for us non-bachelorette watchers. 🙂
TRAVIS BIRKENSTOCK! thank you.
Oh my goodness, I am SO happy you are doing the bachelor blog post again like SO happy!!!! Love it!
Hah!
I don't recall hearing her say ya'll last season. Also, my husband astutely pointed out that Nick V. looks freakishly like the actor who plays Neville in Harry Potter.
so she's turning on the southern charm just for this season?! weird. i've counted at least 15 ya'lls so far.
That's my guess!
so happy you brought these posts back this season.
that is all i needed to know.
Ah Bridget I love your Bachelorette commentary! It's so great to read and be like oh gosh exactly what I was thinking. Glad you called out that cheesy commercial, it was ridiculous haha
I am so sad about Eric's passing, not like I know him but I feel like I do.
I hope someone leaves her in the final few episodes by telling her that she says y'all too much like she told Juan Pablo about him saying "eeess okay" too much!
The robot scene had me cracking up laughing. "Hello I am a robot and I am here to shake my groove thing and win a rose". Too bad he did not get that rose. LOL!
And OMG Craig reminds me of something strange…but I can't put my finger on it.
So glad these recaps are back! First of all, "What's the worst thing about your parents?" line from drunken Craig (followed by "BOOM!" and "yup!!") had me LOLing so hard for a solid 2 minutes. Also, pretty sure Andi said "stoooop" or "stoppppp itttt" to the guys like 6-8x this episode….
i think chris the farmer is so cute!! love him. minus when he said andi was the greatest girl on the planet, i mean, c'moooon. also, i hate when she says "stop" and "y'all" i NEVER heard her say that once on juan pablos season.
Love that you're back to this again! Your commentary is always spot on exactly what I'm thinking. It's as close to a viewing party as I'm going to get.
I've decided that Cody looks like a baby doll that got into a bottle of steroids. Complete with curly-que on his forehead. Barf.
Also, the y'all is KILLING me. I can't take it!
My heart is so happy every time you write an update. Keep 'em coming. Also, do you have a top 3 or top 5 list? My friends (who I watch the show with weekly) put a top 5 list together after the first episode. It's gotten a bit ridiculous this time, one of my friends is convinced that Marquel is making it to the top 5. He's bound to lose $20.
what the hell was the pantrepreneur wearing last night at the rose ceremony?
Don't forget that Bachelorette was on last night and is on again tonight too.